Intimacy: Drunken antics

Drunken antics

By Anonymous - 28/07/2015 06:44 - United States

Today, after a 4 or 5 month-long dry spell, I woke up next to an amazing and beautiful woman. Neither of us were wearing pants. She looked me in the eyes and said, "Did I piss the bed?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 272

You deserved it 3 393

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Same thing different taste

Completely wet

By Anonymous - 27/02/2020 20:00

Today, I was drinking too much and I have to pee constantly, so I went to bed without my girlfriend. Hours later she woke me up wanting sex, but she realized that I pissed the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 2 009

By Anonymous - 02/02/2011 21:47 - United States

Today, I woke up from my honeymoon to discover the love of my life is a bed wetter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 684

You deserved it 9 440

By thanks. - 28/01/2017 04:00

Today, my girlfriend of over a year woke me up at 4:30 in the morning by sticking her hand down my pants. She immediately stopped when I was awake enough to reciprocate and said, "I couldn't sleep. I was bored. Talk to me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 957

You deserved it 819

By Jonathan - 13/10/2008 08:27

Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 408

You deserved it 19 716

By Adam - 16/01/2017 08:00

Today, my wife decided to end our dry spell of four months and started dry humping and kissing me in bed. Things were going well until she orgasmed from the activity and declared that she was too tired to do any more, rolled over, and fell asleep. Five months or bust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 768

You deserved it 993

How romantic

By SmokedSalmon - 13/02/2009 00:54 - United States

Today, I woke up next to a slumbering girl I had just met the night before. She had all the covers on top of her and I was cold. Not only was I cold, but the sheets were really cold. So I got up and realized she'd peed a drunken night's worth of beer all over my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 241

You deserved it 43 579

By feelthelove - 02/11/2009 18:08 - United States

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find a very gorgeous girl in my bed. Her only words to me were "did anything happen?" When I replied yes she began to cry. Nice to know I was someone's rock bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 602

You deserved it 5 613

Giving

By nt121511 - 03/08/2016 22:40

Today, I woke up after a long night of taking care of my drunken husband. I guess I should feel lucky I don't have a generic, "He wet the bed in his sleep" story, and instead have a unique, "He got out of bed and peed on me" story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 120

You deserved it 1 147

By Embarassed - 10/09/2009 05:32 - Canada

Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 582

You deserved it 8 109

By Badaboom - 23/05/2011 10:54 - Netherlands

Today, my 3-year-long dry spell was about to end. A lovely lady over for dinner, good food, wine and lots of laughs. Things heated up nicely in the bedroom when a playful wrestle made my bed shift, snapping two of its legs. The bed collapsed, totally ruining the mood. The dry spell continues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 869

You deserved it 6 335

zadok24 11

Tuesday 28 July 2015 18:27

Well, at least it's not dry anymore

Attacksloth 33

Tuesday 28 July 2015 18:28

Well at least you know you can still make women wet for you.

Comments

tiredofwaiting 25

Tuesday 28 July 2015 20:46

At least you still woke up to a beautiful woman beside you.

beeferjay 34

Tuesday 28 July 2015 20:46

was this chick related to r.kelly?

RtotheDTwo 9

Tuesday 28 July 2015 20:51

sounds like you took care of business OP ; )

joshi42 16

Tuesday 28 July 2015 21:03

Well you were both pissed, so it could be either of you.

Jowisee 29

Tuesday 28 July 2015 21:20

I'm not sure what the FML part is here, you slept with "an amazing and beautiful woman". Did she actually wet the bed? If she was that drunk then it's hardly a deal-breaker. Who's to say it wasn't you who peed?