By Totallyscrewed - 10/02/2013 05:17 - United States - Stroudsburg
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101 - "No matter how much you didn't want another baby you will still love it." Really? Talk with your local child protective services, and see if they agree. 102 - Oh? What other unplanned and unwanted events do you congratulate people about? How well do they take such congratulations? Seems like you want to make yourself feel better, not OP. Try "Best of luck."
@101 umm no wouldnt, you would get an abortion, which would be the smart thing to do, not take on a burden into your life for the sake of a Religious or some other confused belief. Giving birth changes the body massively. I hate when people say 'Congratulations' even when OP has made it crystal clear that she and her husband DONT want another child. I dont think you congratulate someone for having to get an abortion, its not appropriate.
Might be a harsh word but its true, the child isnt wanted, OP might not have enough to support it, it will change her body and wear it out, it could be traumatic for OP to give birth to it, it'll be in their life for at least 18 years. And they dont want a child at all. I think that passes for the word 'burden'. Its the same as if someone had a child too young and they are emotionally, mentally or financially ready to give birth and look after a kid, it becomes more of a burden than a blessing. Smart thing to do is use contraception to avoid this in the first place, which OP did, but still got the shitty end of the stick. FYL OP.
I'll stand up for outoftown, here. This isn't an event worthy of congratulations. Yes, lots of people really love kids, but they're also a lifelong investment of time, energy, and money and practically everyone stops having more at some point precisely for those reasons. Save the congratulations for people who have been trying hard and failing to have a kid and finally succeed at it. They're happy to hear the well wishes.
Perhaps his comparison was a bit harsh and hyperbolic, but it's not exactly wrong, either. Think about the tough decision it is to make when you're so absolutely certain you don't want any more kids that you'll go to a doctor and have a surgery to make sure of it. Lots of people struggle with that decision, and it's one that both parents have to make together. Relationships have been strained and ended over an inability to come to an agreement on the decision, and it's not like it's a decision where compromises are possible. It's all-or-nothing. It's respectful of that hard decision to withhold the traditional congratulations, since they were more certain than most couples ever are that they don't want more kids.
You hear about this happening a lot. You have my sympathies, OP. As you either clearly don't want or are incapable of finally supporting another child, I'd suggest not having it.
Really? That has to Be one of the most ignorant posts I've read on here, n that is saying something, Deloria.... Wow... How do u know they don't want the child or are incapable of taking care of it? I had my tubes tied at 33 bc of the increased risk of having a Downs Syndrome baby (or other age-related risk factor). There was nothing wrong with me, my pocketbook, or my ability to want/love another child. I was doing what I felt was the responsible thing
Look at the growth of a "fetus" and when they develop life sustaining organs. They are not just a cell but growing humans inside the mom. Sorry i will never buy the "lump of tissue" crap. If you truly wanted to find out if they are alive you would do the research instead of spout hate towards pro life people.
Why is it that the pro choice comments are all getting thumbed up but pro life are getting thumbed down? We are each entitled to our opinion and others shouldn't be looked down upon because of what they believe. The moral of this thread is far low. The pro lifers aren't shoving their beliefs down just adding them so they can to be heard.
So your only choice is to birth the baby and then do a DNA check. And since he got a vasectomy it doesn't sound like you want children. You're stuck.
It's risky, but she could have the child's paternity checked in utero. As to what I said regarding abortions, if someone is willing to undergo an often quite painful procedure and potential complications to ensure that no more children are born, it generally means they really, really don't want to have more.
And yet amazingly it doesn't mean that they can't afford it, aren't capable enough to raise or even that they won't love it. What it does mean is that there was a reason they got it done....you just don't know that it's because they really, really, really don't want more kids.
Deloria, I totally see what you are saying and I understand that you were just giving common reasons for the op and her husbands' decision to have a vasectomy but once you get on the bad side of this many people on fml there is really no salvaging your reputation or explaining what you meant. Try again in another thread at a later date.
I have to admit that my comment was born out of frustration to Deloria's comment that seems to have been removed. Telling Op to get an abortion because they are obviously incapable of raising a child or financially affording one. While I'm aware of the most common reason to get a vasectomy I was just pointing out that there are many other reasons.
Tell him that Joseph was much more understanding and believed Mary and he should too.