Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my doctor told me that I suffer from orgasm migraines. Basically, I get an intense migraine that lasts for hours after I have an orgasm. FML
Today, I went to the ER due to intense headaches. My partner was unable to go with me so he called his father to drive me. My father-in-law now knows that every time I orgasm my head feels like it will explode. He also knows that it happened 4 times last week. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with a condition where blood vessels in my brain spasm just before orgasm, resulting in me getting a wicked migraine that lasts for days. The only cure? No more orgasms. FML
Today, during sex, I was getting close to climax, which is unusual for me due to personal issues. However, I got a piercing headache and had to stop. I later found out my birth control can cause sex headaches and the best way to avoid them is to avoid orgasms. FML
Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. My boyfriend noticed that every time I'm about to climax, I hit my head on something. Whether it's a wall or his face. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML
Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML
Today, I went to the doctor because I broke my wrist. My mom told the nurse that I broke it while masturbating. FML
Today, after we had sex, my boyfriend told me how my orgasms used to make him think I was having a seizure. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RedPillSucks 33
You're doing it wrong. You should be getting head, not getting a headache.
Mayshod 3
Screw you doc! ************ is safe sex with someone I love very much.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (38)
BaconBoy75 2
Find a new doctor. This one has no business practicing medicine.
perdix 31
You mean I'm not good enough for you, Grandma! *runs off crying*
brandoneyez1 25
This is hilarious. I'm dying if laughter in my office. I'm sorry. ************ is safe and you should drink more fluids and um might want to invest in a toy of sorts... Maybe your wearing yourself out.... remember the brain is where the sensations originate and cause the orgasmic bliss. Yes it's the organ where you stimulate but the brain that is rushing with feelings and sensations.... So in other words must be some really good masterbating..., lol
perdix 31
You probably have the noose too tight. Forget the asphyxiation shit and just stick with the good old-fashioned rub-and-tug.
bekster88 3
Or maybe that doctor could keep his religion out of the workplace.
Enslaved 38
I had the same problem a few months back. Seconds after climax, I felt as if both sides of my temples were struck by lightning. Doctors were unable to figure out the cause and advised me to just take pain medicine 30 minutes prior to "activity". Apparently it's more common in some males. Things only got better once I stopped drinking caffeine (which I thought would do the opposite effect) and increased my exercise route by an extra day. Oh and of corse drinking plenty of water...... Or it just might be "god", hahaha, yeah right!!!!
FUCKNAMESBREH 0
God shouldn't be included in science.
illmatic2 16
I'm pretty sure the doctor was joking when he said it was a sign from God. You don't actually know for sure what his religious beliefs are.
skyguy89 0
Burn!
Savra_fml 17
That's the Devil speaking!