Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my doctor told me that I suffer from orgasm migraines. Basically, I get an intense migraine that lasts for hours after I have an orgasm. FML
Today, I went to the ER due to intense headaches. My partner was unable to go with me so he called his father to drive me. My father-in-law now knows that every time I orgasm my head feels like it will explode. He also knows that it happened 4 times last week. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with a condition where blood vessels in my brain spasm just before orgasm, resulting in me getting a wicked migraine that lasts for days. The only cure? No more orgasms. FML
Today, during sex, I was getting close to climax, which is unusual for me due to personal issues. However, I got a piercing headache and had to stop. I later found out my birth control can cause sex headaches and the best way to avoid them is to avoid orgasms. FML
Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. My boyfriend noticed that every time I'm about to climax, I hit my head on something. Whether it's a wall or his face. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML
Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML
Today, I went to the doctor because I broke my wrist. My mom told the nurse that I broke it while masturbating. FML
Today, after we had sex, my boyfriend told me how my orgasms used to make him think I was having a seizure. FML
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Top comments
RedPillSucks 33
You're doing it wrong. You should be getting head, not getting a headache.
Mayshod 3
Screw you doc! ************ is safe sex with someone I love very much.
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Comments (38)
causticgirl 6
I am guessing the Dr was just giving you a hard time by saying it was God. Even MDs have a sense of humor. Go and have a complete physical and blood work up to rule out anything serious.
Daederoth 10
It depends on if the doctor followed the god comment up with any medical advice, like the kind OP is paying his doctor for.
mikeymayhem_87 15
This is too funny!! XD I am sorry that it happens to ya, OP!
jorfaw29 0
It's people like you that are making our economy worse! You don't go to the doctor because you beat your meat too much! You go if you cut of an arm or get shot and almost die! Don't waste our healthcare money! I don't under stand it. You deserve your headaches and I hope the continue.
hermitknut 22
He didn't go because he "beat his meat too much". He went because he was getting headaches after doing so. Given that headaches can be anything from trivial problems to signs of much more serious ones, if they're repetitive then it IS something you should get checked out.
5t3ff1k4h 47
58 - You're wishing horrors upon another person? How nice of you. I hope you get eaten by a shark. Doesn't feel very nice, does it? Headaches, as this ^ person said, can be anything minor to something as major as a tumor, and you won't know for sure what it is until you GET IT CHECKED OUT. Duh.
spazz666 18
It's okay guys, she's blonde! Masturbating "too much" does not cause headaches.
hermitknut 22
*runs after Perdix* Of course you are! ... Ah, what would I know.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Dude, 99% sure it's normal. 1% sure your masturbation is offending God.
j_cat187 20
I thought doctors where generally atheist.