Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my doctor told me that I suffer from orgasm migraines. Basically, I get an intense migraine that lasts for hours after I have an orgasm. FML
Today, I went to the ER due to intense headaches. My partner was unable to go with me so he called his father to drive me. My father-in-law now knows that every time I orgasm my head feels like it will explode. He also knows that it happened 4 times last week. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with a condition where blood vessels in my brain spasm just before orgasm, resulting in me getting a wicked migraine that lasts for days. The only cure? No more orgasms. FML
Today, during sex, I was getting close to climax, which is unusual for me due to personal issues. However, I got a piercing headache and had to stop. I later found out my birth control can cause sex headaches and the best way to avoid them is to avoid orgasms. FML
Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. My boyfriend noticed that every time I'm about to climax, I hit my head on something. Whether it's a wall or his face. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML
Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML
Today, I went to the doctor because I broke my wrist. My mom told the nurse that I broke it while masturbating. FML
Today, after we had sex, my boyfriend told me how my orgasms used to make him think I was having a seizure. FML
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Top comments
RedPillSucks 33
You're doing it wrong. You should be getting head, not getting a headache.
Mayshod 3
Screw you doc! ************ is safe sex with someone I love very much.
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Comments (38)
Haha_oh_wait 4
Find a doctor that isn't a religious nut.
Blueglasscup 18
Try googling thunderclap sex headaches.
TipOfTheHat 10
Well, keep up the good work, you'll get in shape eventually with your "hands on" approach to exercise!
Snafuusmc 12
Slow down drink more water and try to do it 2-3 times a week or atleast close to it.
perdix 31
Well, God killed Onan for masturbating, but he's only giving you headaches. I'd say you got off easy.
KVKdragon 26
God killed Onan for spilling his seed on the ground when he was copulating with someone that He wanted to be pregnant :/
perdix 31
That's funny. We all know that the pull-out method (coitus interruptus) doesn't work. If God wanted Tamar to be pregnant, He would have made it fail for Onan, too.
Cmdr_Shepard 17
Doesn't God have better things to do than give guys who ********** headaches? You were better off just googling your symptoms rather than visiting that doctor.
All_I_Need 4
Let's face it : God has no life.
Okayitwasme 0
Okay, this also could be a sign that you have very high cholesterol. Some people regardless of diet have high cholesterol. Meaning the arteries are not pumping enough blood. Also causes headaches after sex. There are pills for that. By the way OP change doctors! Just because he gets to put DR in front of his name doesn't say he graduated at the top of his class.
Ray_of_midnight 23
OMGWTF? I'm not an M.D. but having a headache when you ****** could mean all sorts of stuff, some of it serious, some not. You could be inadvertently straining muscles in your neck and back, triggering a tension headache, or you could have a serious cardiac or blood pressure issue. Find a different doc, one who knows WTF he or she is talking about, and get it sorted out, pronto. And you should be really angry at your current doctor for ascribing a divine origin to what could be a sign of a serious medical problem, rather than investigating further.
Savra_fml 17
Your doctor is a moron. If you believed him, you are one too. Religion and medicine do not mix! No need to get a second opinion, you just need to get a real one from a real doctor. Most probable cause is high blood pressure so check that out.
123jdub 7
I don't care what anyone thinks, that's funny shit right there
screamo_neve 12
We don't care what you think either.