I have no jokes, that sounds awful!

I think you'll find a lot of Two-Pump Chumps who will love your company. You could start trolling some premature ejaculation forums for dates and have an endless supply of attention. That's how you turn a bug into a feature!

There is hope! I have the same issue and have found that I can orgasm pain free when dreaming and most of the time I wake up halfway through so I enjoy all the benefits and none of the pain. It happens naturally for me and always has but maybe look into lucid dreaming? Good luck!

OP see a neurologist. There is more than one way to deal with migraines. Sometimes medications we take make us more likely to have a migraine. Sometimes it’s certain food sensitivities that makes you more likely to have migraines - such as the nitrates in cured meats like bacon, many deli meats, and jerky. In my own case it was a combination of food sensitivities (particularly nitrates) and a medication I was taking. The two together were worse than either alone. See a medical specialist who deals with migraines. It could be something else is making you susceptible to this problem.

Damnn... 🙁