Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML
Today, my 8-year-old son eagerly showed me a PowerPoint he made. It consisted of REALLY graphic and gory descriptions of a guy getting murdered, complete with pictures from the internet. He was laughing the whole time he was showing me this, and even set one of the images as his desktop background. FML
Today, my mom finally noticed the joke file I have on my PC desktop called "bigcocklovespussy.jpg". It's just a cute picture of a chicken snuggling with a cat. She didn't actually open the file and just deleted it. She won't believe my explanation and grounded me for a month for "looking at porn". FML
Today, I was playing a game with my family where we had to say the name of an actor/actress that started with a certain letter. When I said mine, my dad grounded me because he knew it was a pornstar. Now my mom is mad at my dad for watching porn too. FML
Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML
Today, while I was looking for a file on my boyfriend's hard drive, I came across photos of a half-naked woman wearing my clothes, but whose head wasn't really visible. When I demanded an explanation, I realised that it wasn't another girl - it was him. FML
Today, I was having computer problems, so I let my friend have remote access to fix them. We were video-chatting on Skype at the time, and so he thought it'd be hilarious to load hardcore porn in my browser the moment he saw my mom enter the room from behind me. I'm now grounded. FML
Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML
Today, my dad wanted to show me a cool camera he saw on Amazon yesterday, so I let him use my laptop to find it. I realized too late that I'd forgotten to clear my browsing history. The suggested purchases section was filled with dildos and lube. He definitely noticed. FML
Today, I was watching a movie that had a mild sex scene in it. My mother walked in just as that scene was starting and she flipped out. I'm now grounded. She's taken my TV and laptop out of my room and refuses to let me see my boyfriend because she's sure he's the cause of my "disgusting behaviour". FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
chris_a7x 11
Why didn't you open the file first...?
superxmario91 11
Premature parenting.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (192)
superxmario91 11
Premature parenting.
xlord 27
OP shouldn't cum to conclusions so soon
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
It only took 39 more comments, but I knew that joke was cumming!
xlord 27
Well it does come in-handy to beat off a few small puns.... As long as they don't suck.
meganfoxissexy 0
He probs had 69 pictures of pussygalore
Meettitan 14
That's almost as awkward as deleting a file; then going to your recycling bin to restore it, only to find you failed to... "cover your tracks" previously.
patrickalamo 48
Mouth overloaded your ass... Get the facts first... YDI, for rushing to judgement.
CaptainDoorknob 7
Anyway what is there to even talk about? That ************ is evil and you'll burn in hell for eternity if you even so much as look at your penis? This is 2012, not 1953. Let the kid grow up.
Subcontinent 14
#179 of course masturbation isn't evil and neither is **** really although I personally don't like the idea of it - but depending on the age of the kid he maybe shouldn't be looking at and, you're right to say let him grow up, but if he's not had an intimate, sexual or serious relationship before its possible he'd get the wrong idea of how those play out from ****. I'm not saying don't watch it but you should sit down and talk to your kid about how he should treat a girl, be responsible etc. etc.
chris_a7x 11
Why didn't you open the file first...?
walmartpaysme 15
Yeah but if are going to accuse your child of something, it's better to have all the facts first.
redbluegreen 41
In most cases I would agree with you, but honestly, I probably wouldn't have checked either. Then again, I'm not a parent.
Drigr 9
I think OP got trolled..
maxmex13 7
What if they really were pictures of women's vaginas and OPs son came up with that story on the spot so he wouldn't get in trouble? After all, you usually don't need pictures if you are typing an essay.
SammyS2012 21
I've had my professor tell me to put pictures in my essay for emphasis. But seriously; I understand not wanting to open the file and seeing ****, but if you're going to call your son out like that, make sure your facts are right.
fucking_dev 2
why is she even on his computer??? haha
ALlamaOnFire 20
Maybe she borrowed it, maybe hers is broken, maybe she wanted to use it because she bought it. The possibilities are endless:)
GuessWhatKids 13
Heh, some of you need to woman up. If I saw a folder called "dickpics" on my daughter's computer, I'd damn straight open it to see what she's up to. Who cares if it has a bunch of guys' penises, it's all part of your body.
ellytoad 13
Oh no, the horror of vaginas. Who knows how hetero women gynecologists live with themselves! 9_9
SammyS2012 21
137- some women just cat see the naked body of another woman. I know men also who try their hardest to not see the penises of other men. To each their own. And the mom could have been borrowing her son's computer. My dad uses mine and my sister's all the time and saves pictures on it so he can put them on Facebook or send to family; so he goes through the documents on the computer as well. As long as the son didn't mind (and it doesn't sound it) then it's all good.
Epikouros 32
Maybe she did open the folder, and thought that the Pussy Galore pictures were wankfodder.
hersheykisses511 18
Maybe she bought it, and maybe she pays for the Internet, and the electricity. If so she has the right to look through it, my parents do that to me all the time and I don't mind. If I want the privacy then I have to buy the computer and pay for the Internet and electricity it costs to pay for it.
BuffaloSabres134 8
I think anybody who saw a folder with that name would assume something dirty is in there
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
I wouldn't, I'd just assume he reeeeally likes cats.
Meow_Bitches 7
And Im assuming you reeeally like cats too considering your profile picture...
walmartpaysme 15
Says the guy with Meow in his name.
trivel64 16
This whole thread is kind of hilarious
christyxbee 15
And ridiculously ironic.
Razi_tail 25
I would have had to look wondering if it was cats or the other. My first thought reading this fml was that it was a folder of cat pictures.
sirpantselot 22
3, those folders are usually given less obvious names than that.
tennisrapper1 14
3 you're an idiot, you forgot the period you dumbass. Go **** yourself.
gmc_blossom 21
72- So you're telling me my folder labeled, "****" should probably be changed to something less obvious?
Llamacod 11
#95, only if you don't want anybody finding it
jweezy89 4
Who actually keeps a folder of ****? Keeping your **** viewing strictly on the web is much easier to conceal. Plus I don't know many people who want to see the same pics over and over. Variety is the spice of life. Or is it paprika? I can never keep that straight.
Unibear 1
95- Call it "homework"
AaronGuy 12
#103, as long as you keep your **** and your paprika separate, I think you'll be fine.
FMLandurstoo 9
Notporn.zip
efrainelboricua 12
Take 134 advice judging by his icon he must be good at hiding **** ( jokes)
stitesy29 18
Sabres fan eh? Go Wild!!
obnum 19
Well... It's hard not to think of something dirty when you read something saying pussypictures lol
onlychildFTW 34
Well she should have checked first so not to make a fool of herself.
AaronGuy 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
#4, I'm pretty sure that " lol" isn't a form of punctuation.
Synistiel 14
122- I'm going to have to write you up for the unnecessary space in your quote.
evilplatypus 39
4 - I used to have a folder on my desktop just called "*******" to throw my parents off. I kept funny lolcat pictures in it. My p0rn was kept hidden mixed in with system files.
qwertyiou9 7
And you didn't click on the file why?
Girreth 7
I think you should be more ashamed that you think your son is stupid enough to name his **** folder "PussyPictures."
ihasbrains 10
It seems more like he did it intentionally, to get his parents to try to give him shit for it so he could mock them afterwards.
Girreth 7
I was about to ask what kind of kid adds folders to his computer so that his parents can see them, but then I realized that it's the same kind of kid raised by parents who actually check their offspring's computer in the first place.
Axipiter 24
Look for a folder called "Program Files". That's probably just a codename for the actual ****.
M_Rainbow 7
Mine's called "education"
j_cat187 20
Mines kept in a folder labeled "resume".
SpikyG 3
Mine is called "Don't ******* go in the folder".
iHeartMuzik 0
Ahah you made me laugh
makenna2011 6
He was just asking for that to happen. But next time, you might want to open it to be sure
Mister_Triangle 21
Definitely seems like a setup. It's too obvious for **** storage and too clearly an innuendo to be entirely innocent. He may not have intended for his mom to find it, but he knew what he was doing.
SpikyG 3
He lying. He provably deleted the pics by now.
coolbrony12 3
He could be lying. I would check it when he's not home just to be safe.
happle 21
Why when he's not home? She's his parent, she can check whenever she wants.
annie_nk 23
You know what happens when you assume, right?
Girreth 7
You become the subject of an overused joke?
annie_nk 23
Lol yeah that too.
maosquare 18
You make an ass out of you and me.
Girreth 7
31 - The ninth circle of hell is reserved for arsonists, thieves, people who dress their dogs up in fuzzy sweaters, and dumbfucks who are so unoriginal that they post what you just did in a vain attempt to cover their self-centered bullshit with stale jokes that try too hard to be witty. I hope a child molester's penis is surgically attached to your face, with regards to another FML.
CharresBarkrey 16
Holy shit, 37, calm down. They were just answering 11.
BulldogHoops 14
Holy hell 37 is a sociopath
Jaxx66 21
37- I agree with everything from the ninth circle to fuzzy sweaters on dogs. After that you turned asshole and failed. :(
gmc_blossom 21
Boy, that escalated quickly. I mean, that got out of hand fast. Dafuq was that all about, 37? Your comment scared me. O_O
constipatedlady 0
Comments about the "circles of hell" are very original. I'm in awe of your creativity.
Girreth 7
Today, I posted a comment on FML. Everyone thought I was serious. FML