Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while waxing my bikini line, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me which caused me to close my legs. I am now sitting in the sink with my best friend pouring hot water "down there" trying to remove the wax. FML
Today, I was trying to shave down there. I'm about 6 months pregnant, and I can't see past my belly. I ended up scaring the crap out of myself into thinking I was miscarrying until my baby kicked and I realized I had just accidentally cut myself with the razor. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom trying to wax her butt. FML
Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML
Today, I tried to be sexy and asked my husband of 6 years if he wanted to "put a baby in me." He shook the recent belly fat I gained and asked, "Is there room for a baby in there?" FML
Today, when getting my eyebrows waxed, the lady cursed "oh shit!" under her breath, right after waxing half of my brow off. FML
Today, my husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake belly when we have sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend snuck up behind me while I was naked and whispered in my ear to bend over. I thought this was a lead up to doggy style but nope, he slapped a waxing strip on my exposed bum hole and ran off yelling, “No more hairy hole! No more hairy hole!” FML
Today, I went to get my underarms waxed. I'm usually not self-conscious because I figure they see worse stuff all the time. When I raised my arm for her to wax my armpit she looked at me, laughed and said, "Well I guess that's how I know it's winter in Wisconsin!" FML
Today, I was at my in-laws' house, and as I was walking to the living room I had my hands on the back of my hips supporting my back. My mother-in-law told me to stop because it makes me look pregnant. I'm 9 months pregnant. FML
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Top comments
JustKittyKat 24
Attempt to be social and funny: fail. Initiate plan B; Silently rip off stranger's pubic hair.
surfbumblonde 7
The word "snatch" lives up to its two meanings here.
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Comments (160)
PhishloverA 14
She'll be fisting you to the max trying to get the baby out OP! Then you can blame the woman for any birth defects your premature baby may have. I'm totally kidding
loohoozuuhuur 13
That comment is so out of order... :-S
ALuminousHusky 5
Some people are just messed up like him for writing that.
fadingaway 17
Seriously, OP? That's funny.
aishahasaFML 4
you're not meant to have bikini waxes when you're pregnant.
KatjaM 15
And why is that..?
piinksock 17
Having worked as a beauty therapist and also being on the receiving end of a bikini wax while pregnant, I can tell you it's fine, mostly. There can be swelling and even varicose veins in the vulva towards the end of a pregnancy and then you have a higher risk of injury bleeding etc. It's not necessarily pregnancy, just using common sense if you have any genital symptoms.
thats_my_job 11
Has to do with blood flow according to a woman who had one when she was 9 months pregnant and it went wrong. It's not always safe for pregnant women. Say most waxes go right, I still wouldn't want to be the one that goes wrong.
toooldforthis 19
I'm not sure showing your lady parts to a stranger is much better
toooldforthis 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'm not sure showing your lady parts to a stranger is any better
walmartpaysme 15
Off the top of her head? Yes. Decently clever? No. It's just creepy. I mean, there are a million things to talk about with a customer. She comes up with, "I could steal your baby if unwanted to. It sounds a lot like a threat to me.
darawbs 0
What the hell? Sorry OP, some people are just batshit crazy.
36591951 9
^ You rearranged the sentence and left out the parts that suited to make it sound creepy. I think it was just a failed attempt at humour
funsize1752 7
I think it's hilarious. I would've laughed if it happened to me
Sitaaboo 6
Hahahhaah! I indeed LOL'ed ha :)