Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while waxing my bikini line, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me which caused me to close my legs. I am now sitting in the sink with my best friend pouring hot water "down there" trying to remove the wax. FML
Today, I was trying to shave down there. I'm about 6 months pregnant, and I can't see past my belly. I ended up scaring the crap out of myself into thinking I was miscarrying until my baby kicked and I realized I had just accidentally cut myself with the razor. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom trying to wax her butt. FML
Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML
Today, I tried to be sexy and asked my husband of 6 years if he wanted to "put a baby in me." He shook the recent belly fat I gained and asked, "Is there room for a baby in there?" FML
Today, when getting my eyebrows waxed, the lady cursed "oh shit!" under her breath, right after waxing half of my brow off. FML
Today, my husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake belly when we have sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend snuck up behind me while I was naked and whispered in my ear to bend over. I thought this was a lead up to doggy style but nope, he slapped a waxing strip on my exposed bum hole and ran off yelling, “No more hairy hole! No more hairy hole!” FML
Today, I went to get my underarms waxed. I'm usually not self-conscious because I figure they see worse stuff all the time. When I raised my arm for her to wax my armpit she looked at me, laughed and said, "Well I guess that's how I know it's winter in Wisconsin!" FML
Today, I was at my in-laws' house, and as I was walking to the living room I had my hands on the back of my hips supporting my back. My mother-in-law told me to stop because it makes me look pregnant. I'm 9 months pregnant. FML
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Top comments
JustKittyKat 24
Attempt to be social and funny: fail. Initiate plan B; Silently rip off stranger's pubic hair.
surfbumblonde 7
The word "snatch" lives up to its two meanings here.
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Comments (160)
Xxlaurahatakexx 9
XD that's hilarious
drewcat21 0
Takes peek-a-boo to a whole new level... Weirdo.
sweetmama88 6
I would have reported her to the owner of the store and see how funny she thought it was !
drewcat21 0
That seems a little drastic. Get a women fired over a joke? She could have kids she supports of that job? Seems a little insensitive.
laden_swallow09 34
Report her for what? If she kept going on after you said how uncomfortable her jokes make you feel, then you would have a complaint. Going to her manager without any attempt at all to stop uncomfortable behavior right then and there is nothing but a bitch move. Yeah, REAL sweet, you are.
ArielTheMermaid 17
Lighten up, OP. it's awkwardly funny, which is the best kind of humor
missyfiona89 28
Learn to take a joke.
Bostonman2 1
Ya don't say?
Nanael_fml 4
I find that hilarious she got jokes
llama612 27
To everyone saying that the woman was trying to be funny we all get that, but honestly that wasn't a very good joke and it probs made OP quite uncomfortable because it's just such a random joke and the lady who said it would have been better off saying it to a friend or a regular customer not a new one. So I feel for OP because it would have just made the situation so much more awkward for her. It may be a funny joke but it's best to say it to someone you know will get your sense of humor
Plinkin 10
No where in the FML does OP say it was her first time. She could be a regular for all we know.
llama612 27
You're right and I did notice that after, but I at least think if she was a regular then the girl she saw wasn't someone she had dealt with before it's just the impression I get from what OP said but I could be wrong.
ElishaisSexy2016 9
Failed at being funny :/ lol
pinkstreak 0
I think she was just trying to make a joke out of it...