Work: Today, it was my first day at the fire station. Naturally, we...

By PukinFireman - 17/10/2009 08:20 - United States

Today, it was my first day at the fire station. Naturally, we all went out and got lunch together. I normally don't handle spicy food well, but sucked it up. About ten minutes after we finished, I got up to do rookie duties when someone slapped me in the back. I forcefully vomited all over my new Lieutenant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 140

You deserved it 5 103

Work

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 25/10/2011 18:46 - United States

Today, it was my first day on duty as a rookie cop. Everything was going great, and even the veterans on the force were warming up to me. That is until my mother came into the station carrying a brown bag for my lunch. Written on the bag was, "Lunch for my big boy. I love you, pumpkin." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 020

You deserved it 6 333

Hazing rituals

By newguy - 29/08/2009 21:02 - United States

Today, it's my third day at work and the hazing finally began. After a few rounds of "punch the new guy", I thought I would finally be safe because the manager walked into the kitchen. He saw what was going on, picked up a handful of ketchup packets, and began throwing them at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 181

You deserved it 4 799

In and out

By newhostess - 11/04/2009 16:12 - United States

Today, I was training for my new job at a restaurant. As part of training, they give you free food so you know what to recommend, and the dish I got was really good. Eight hours later I saw it again while I was puking. I got food poisoning from my own workplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 995

You deserved it 3 412

Heimlich

By Macdaddy - 05/12/2008 12:49 - France

Today, I attended my first meeting with my bosses. For lunch we went to a restaurant. I choked on a piece of meat and couldn't breathe anymore. I had to take that piece of meat out of my throat with my fingers, and then put it back on my plate all chewed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 014

You deserved it 3 474

By fuckthisandfuckthatandfuckyoutoo - 28/07/2013 16:23 - United States

Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I choked on my own saliva and went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hated my guts, accused me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal and fired me on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 637

You deserved it 3 569

By JustAmirage - 14/02/2019 20:00

Today, it was my first day at work. They had me a large tray with lots of food on it, even after I told them I wasn’t comfortable carrying it. I hit the door on the way out of the kitchen, spilling everything on the tray, breaking 2 soup bowls and 3 salad plates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 147

You deserved it 367

No tip for you

By Anonymous - 06/01/2011 06:34 - United States

Today, I was feeling sick but went into my waitressing job because I'd already missed 3 days this week. I was dizzy and managed to spill a tray of drinks all over the customers. Then, when their food was done, I tripped and spilled hot chili all over the man's lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 031

You deserved it 11 968

Bad day

By mandieee - 15/06/2017 20:00

Today, I had my first shift as a server at a restaurant after getting stuck behind an accident and arriving late, apologizing profusely. Apparently no one knew I'd been hired but I was still yelled at for tardiness. They then made me clean a fridge for 4 hours and paid me in pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 261

You deserved it 383

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 00:46 - United States - Detroit

Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 543

You deserved it 2 547

By TheVagabond_SRG - 02/08/2016 06:46 - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, I started my first day at a job. First thing my manager does is ask me if I knew the fastest way to kill someone there, then told me with a straight face all of what would occur when dumping a person's head into the deep fryer. Then the psycho assigned me to the fry station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 525

You deserved it 1 073

DoingItWrong 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 15:39

Aww ... you didn't even make it to the ritualized hazing later in the day =(

Peroxide 3

Saturday 17 October 2009 15:55

That's the least of your troubles. Fortunately your firefighter training will come in handy later when you shit fire.

Comments

Turnip_Girl 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 15:34

Did the food at least taste good? On the way down, I mean. >_>

Ajjas013 6

Saturday 17 October 2009 17:30

Maybe it would be better if you had cookie duties. This is in all the movies man, the guy goes to lunch with his girlfriend, to Indian, he can't handle Indian but doesn't say anything. Later on he spends the rest of his date in the bathroom.

JohnE3 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 18:59

cookie duties?

popoman 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 3:16

Cookie duties means that he eats a lot of food (usually spicy), takes a HUGE dump with a whole bunch of flecks in it (like chocolate chip cookie dough), puts the pieces of shit on a baking tray in small individual pieces, and bakes it at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for 10 minutes. Then he eats it.

Ajjas013 6

Sunday 18 October 2009 3:44

Ahh dude you're killing me. You should be a comedian.

obnum 19

Saturday 20 October 2012 0:21

You have ruined eating chocolate chip cookies for me. Now I'll always think of poop >.<

DoingItWrong 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 15:39

Aww ... you didn't even make it to the ritualized hazing later in the day =(

lexxiii 17

Saturday 17 October 2009 15:39

Third!

mysuckishlife 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 15:40

YDI for yodeling...

xxcrazybestiexx 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 15:44

Omg! One word: ew! That's horrible! FYL

Mx_Rider 6

Saturday 17 October 2009 15:46

dudeee that sucks im a prob firefighter i know how u feel

Peroxide 3

Saturday 17 October 2009 15:55

That's the least of your troubles. Fortunately your firefighter training will come in handy later when you shit fire.

Sappheyes 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 16:31

Sorry but YDI for putting yourself in that position. As a firefighter, you need to keep yourself in condition to be ready to go fight a fire! Your job can't force you to eat foods that you're allergic to or make you sick, plenty of people are put into a state of pain from spicy foods. Ulcers, acid reflex, etc. Lesson learned.