Work: Today, it was my first day at the fire station. Naturally, we...

By PukinFireman - 17/10/2009 08:20 - United States

Today, it was my first day at the fire station. Naturally, we all went out and got lunch together. I normally don't handle spicy food well, but sucked it up. About ten minutes after we finished, I got up to do rookie duties when someone slapped me in the back. I forcefully vomited all over my new Lieutenant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 155

You deserved it 5 110

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Same thing different taste

Hazing rituals

By newguy - 29/08/2009 21:02 - United States

Today, it's my third day at work and the hazing finally began. After a few rounds of "punch the new guy", I thought I would finally be safe because the manager walked into the kitchen. He saw what was going on, picked up a handful of ketchup packets, and began throwing them at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 199

You deserved it 4 807

No tip for you

By Anonymous - 06/01/2011 06:34 - United States

Today, I was feeling sick but went into my waitressing job because I'd already missed 3 days this week. I was dizzy and managed to spill a tray of drinks all over the customers. Then, when their food was done, I tripped and spilled hot chili all over the man's lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 049

You deserved it 11 984

Was it worth it?

By Anonymous - 05/09/2023 00:02

Today, I had a stomach bug, but despite it I swallowed a mouthful of habanero sauce on a dare. I ended up projectile vomiting on a wall outside, lost my sense of balance and fell over on the sidewalk, almost blacked out from the tightness in my chest, and had to refuse an ambulance that somebody had called. All for $5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 1 278

Heimlich

By Macdaddy - 05/12/2008 12:49 - France

Today, I attended my first meeting with my bosses. For lunch we went to a restaurant. I choked on a piece of meat and couldn't breathe anymore. I had to take that piece of meat out of my throat with my fingers, and then put it back on my plate all chewed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 033

You deserved it 3 482

In and out

By newhostess - 11/04/2009 16:12 - United States

Today, I was training for my new job at a restaurant. As part of training, they give you free food so you know what to recommend, and the dish I got was really good. Eight hours later I saw it again while I was puking. I got food poisoning from my own workplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 015

You deserved it 3 422

By Anonymous - 21/06/2013 04:44 - United States - Vancouver

Today, my boss held my hair while I threw up. It's day two on the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 130

You deserved it 9 053

First day

By notsogoodtrainee - 09/07/2015 17:02 - United States - Fargo

Today, at my first day of work, I was impressing my trainer with my skills by carrying many trays at once. Well, I could until I came around a corner and ran into a customer. With food all over his front, he introduced himself to me as the head manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 640

You deserved it 4 816

By Anonymous - 23/05/2019 16:00

Today, I was at my job as a dental assistant and I was told to take an X-ray of a woman's teeth. As soon as I put the foam piece into her mouth, she projectile-vomited all over me and the floor. I had just started my 5-hour shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 881

You deserved it 294

By Anonymous - 20/12/2012 21:49 - United Kingdom - London

Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 430

You deserved it 6 543

Grossed out

By Anonymous - 10/11/2018 14:00

Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 801

You deserved it 350

DoingItWrong 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 15:39

Aww ... you didn't even make it to the ritualized hazing later in the day =(

Peroxide 3

Saturday 17 October 2009 15:55

That's the least of your troubles. Fortunately your firefighter training will come in handy later when you shit fire.

Comments

Turnip_Girl 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 15:34

Did the food at least taste good? On the way down, I mean. >_>

Ajjas013 6

Saturday 17 October 2009 17:30

Maybe it would be better if you had cookie duties. This is in all the movies man, the guy goes to lunch with his girlfriend, to Indian, he can't handle Indian but doesn't say anything. Later on he spends the rest of his date in the bathroom.

JohnE3 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 18:59

cookie duties?

popoman 0

Sunday 18 October 2009 3:16

Cookie duties means that he eats a lot of food (usually spicy), takes a HUGE dump with a whole bunch of flecks in it (like chocolate chip cookie dough), puts the pieces of shit on a baking tray in small individual pieces, and bakes it at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for 10 minutes. Then he eats it.

Ajjas013 6

Sunday 18 October 2009 3:44

Ahh dude you're killing me. You should be a comedian.

obnum 19

Saturday 20 October 2012 0:21

You have ruined eating chocolate chip cookies for me. Now I'll always think of poop >.<

DoingItWrong 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 15:39

Aww ... you didn't even make it to the ritualized hazing later in the day =(

lexxiii 17

Saturday 17 October 2009 15:39

Third!

mysuckishlife 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 15:40

YDI for yodeling...

xxcrazybestiexx 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 15:44

Omg! One word: ew! That's horrible! FYL

Mx_Rider 6

Saturday 17 October 2009 15:46

dudeee that sucks im a prob firefighter i know how u feel

Peroxide 3

Saturday 17 October 2009 15:55

That's the least of your troubles. Fortunately your firefighter training will come in handy later when you shit fire.

Sappheyes 0

Saturday 17 October 2009 16:31

Sorry but YDI for putting yourself in that position. As a firefighter, you need to keep yourself in condition to be ready to go fight a fire! Your job can't force you to eat foods that you're allergic to or make you sick, plenty of people are put into a state of pain from spicy foods. Ulcers, acid reflex, etc. Lesson learned.