Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while waxing my bikini line, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me which caused me to close my legs. I am now sitting in the sink with my best friend pouring hot water "down there" trying to remove the wax. FML
Today, I was trying to shave down there. I'm about 6 months pregnant, and I can't see past my belly. I ended up scaring the crap out of myself into thinking I was miscarrying until my baby kicked and I realized I had just accidentally cut myself with the razor. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom trying to wax her butt. FML
Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML
Today, I tried to be sexy and asked my husband of 6 years if he wanted to "put a baby in me." He shook the recent belly fat I gained and asked, "Is there room for a baby in there?" FML
Today, when getting my eyebrows waxed, the lady cursed "oh shit!" under her breath, right after waxing half of my brow off. FML
Today, my husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake belly when we have sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend snuck up behind me while I was naked and whispered in my ear to bend over. I thought this was a lead up to doggy style but nope, he slapped a waxing strip on my exposed bum hole and ran off yelling, “No more hairy hole! No more hairy hole!” FML
Today, I went to get my underarms waxed. I'm usually not self-conscious because I figure they see worse stuff all the time. When I raised my arm for her to wax my armpit she looked at me, laughed and said, "Well I guess that's how I know it's winter in Wisconsin!" FML
Today, I was at my in-laws' house, and as I was walking to the living room I had my hands on the back of my hips supporting my back. My mother-in-law told me to stop because it makes me look pregnant. I'm 9 months pregnant. FML
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Top comments
JustKittyKat 24
Attempt to be social and funny: fail. Initiate plan B; Silently rip off stranger's pubic hair.
surfbumblonde 7
The word "snatch" lives up to its two meanings here.
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Comments (160)
Climaxx 11
I think the lady was awesome & relaxing OP before ripping off the wax.
Chinaski76 15
How could anyone possibly find a comment like that relaxing? Of course the waxer was clearly joking and trying to ease the tension, but that’s a seriously ****** up thing to say. If you work in a profession where people make themselves vulnerable and naked in front of you, it’s probably best to avoid any and all jokes about violating their body.
zero91 4
so did your husband find you sexy?
fromthesuck 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Op doesn't need to wax to be sexy. That's what all the beer the husband drinks is for.
PizzaRollsss 5
^You must not have read the FML.
realist101 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Get a sense of humor!!! sourpuss!
Tamz13 2
Meh. Not too shabby of a joke. It can't possibly be easy to find an icebreaker for a conversation when you're stuck staring at someone's crotch & pulling out their pubes.
Ugi 26
That has to be one of the all-time wierdest comments! But then it's not that often you're in that position I guess. She was only trying to be funny but I can see how it might weird you out when you're in a pretty compromising position already! FYL
arbcats1 8
That is hilarious!! I would have burst out laughing!!
jgraham0218 5
That is one of the creepiest things I've ever read!!!
chell1894 13
Yeah that's a joke you'd pull on a close pregnant friend or relative though. Not on a customer you've just met.
mollysticks 10
Have a sense of humor? That's actually really funny. (:
olpally 32
A very creepy sense of humor that woman has... Funny, but like wtf? Lol.