Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while waxing my bikini line, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me which caused me to close my legs. I am now sitting in the sink with my best friend pouring hot water "down there" trying to remove the wax. FML
Today, I was trying to shave down there. I'm about 6 months pregnant, and I can't see past my belly. I ended up scaring the crap out of myself into thinking I was miscarrying until my baby kicked and I realized I had just accidentally cut myself with the razor. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom trying to wax her butt. FML
Today, I was given a lapdance by a pregnant stripper. FML
Today, I tried to be sexy and asked my husband of 6 years if he wanted to "put a baby in me." He shook the recent belly fat I gained and asked, "Is there room for a baby in there?" FML
Today, when getting my eyebrows waxed, the lady cursed "oh shit!" under her breath, right after waxing half of my brow off. FML
Today, my husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake belly when we have sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend snuck up behind me while I was naked and whispered in my ear to bend over. I thought this was a lead up to doggy style but nope, he slapped a waxing strip on my exposed bum hole and ran off yelling, “No more hairy hole! No more hairy hole!” FML
Today, I went to get my underarms waxed. I'm usually not self-conscious because I figure they see worse stuff all the time. When I raised my arm for her to wax my armpit she looked at me, laughed and said, "Well I guess that's how I know it's winter in Wisconsin!" FML
Today, I was at my in-laws' house, and as I was walking to the living room I had my hands on the back of my hips supporting my back. My mother-in-law told me to stop because it makes me look pregnant. I'm 9 months pregnant. FML
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Top comments
JustKittyKat 24
Attempt to be social and funny: fail. Initiate plan B; Silently rip off stranger's pubic hair.
surfbumblonde 7
The word "snatch" lives up to its two meanings here.
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Comments (160)
IAmNotAHuman515 6
That's hilarious
Wii624 5
You do realize she was joking right...?
mvc3ftw 17
Fire back your own creepy joke.Who knows,you two might become creepy friends with creepy fantasies and creepy husbands,going on creepy shopping sprees,watching creepy movies with creepy crawlies while eating creepypasta:)
mvc3ftw 17
somehow I don't think this will sound as funny to others as it did to me.
WhatIsLuck 6
Mmm, a nice hot plate of Slenderman!
mvc3ftw 17
and a side order of suicidemouse.avi please!
Plaasmaa 4
All in a nice little restaurant called Candle Cove!
Daederoth 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
No. With some of the things that have gone on in the country in the last few years you really should call the police and report it.
gc327072 30
71- because babies are always being stolen during waxes. You just went full retard.
dolphins_penny 5
I understand the wax girl was trying to be funny but who jokes with a woman about stealing their baby? maybe a close friend but random people like this would scare the shit out of me since I watch ID channel and have heard of woman killing pregnant woman and stealing their baby and crazy shit like that. I would have laughed it off and been like, "ha ha ha....yeah....your completely creepy.
Gregory607 1
Never,.. go full retard.
Nabee143 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
73 You just made me laugh soooo hard! Full retard? I love it! Lol
amerikaninfidel 2
Never! Never assume a women is pregnant!
jaggerbaby4726 1
The problem to Mr is not the lady who was waxing her. The problem is her husband. OP is pregnant, why should she try to prove she can still he sexy? That's ridiculous.