By Anonymous - 21/08/2009 14:20 - United States

Today, my mother told me she's disappointed in me for not going to a better college, and that if I was in the top ten of my class that the rest of those ten must be really dumb. Fact is, I threw away the acceptance letters to Carnegie Mellon and Cornell because I didn't want her to have to pay. FML
I agree, your life sucks 28 065
You deserved it 42 628

Same thing different taste

Top comments

evangldbrg 0

YDI for not talking to your mom and throwing them away. If you can't afford it, there's always financial aid...


bcrklein 0

More like YDI for being a ******* idiot. I'm working my ass off to get into a decent college, and you throw away ivy league acceptance letters.

xo_emily_xo 0

AGREED! How can you throw out an acceptance letter to ivy league schools?! DUMB BItCH! you may be smart in school, but evidently, not in real life

curryndricegirll 0

k, so financial aid people. did it ever occur to anyone that she didn't qualify for that but didn't want to spend her life savings on undergrad? second, she can still go there for grad school. and everyone screaming loans? that just speaks for itself. unwise. and why is the OP an idiot, just because it's ivy league? do you people just go to colleges for their rank? come on! just because she's not going to a higher ranked school doesn't mean that she's going to community college or even a moderately decent school. i doubt she thew away the letters over crap schools. anyway, when she goes to the SLIGHTLY lower ranked college, she'll be ranked higher up in the class, and then she can get into a better grad school and get more scholarships. IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL! btw, after your first job, no one cares where you went to college. it's just your job skills after that.

#63, agreed. The jealous are just crowding.

letitbe56 0

The thing is, it's the very best schools who are offering the best financial aid right now. So going to a school that's only slightly lower ranked doesn't make much sense. If you're at an Ivy League school, the only way you're not qualifying for financial aid is if your parents are making $200k or more in a year. In which case their refusing to pay is kind of selfish.

Intoxicunt, Please don't agree with #63. If you really belong at an elite school like Cornell or Carnegie-Mellon, you have to go. You will be bored with the students at lesser schools. I went to a high-powered school and those were the best years of my life. Being with all those smart people was very stimulating, and not feeling like I needed to dumb myself down to be accepted by others was liberating. You seem like a bright young woman and maybe you aspire to go to a top university. If you can get in, don't let the money stop you. And that is total bullshit about your college only helping with your first job. My educational pedigree still makes employers' eyes pop more than 20 years after I got my bachelor's degree. That old cliche probably only applies if you went to some ordinary school. Aim high, young lady!

kendalle_fml 0

Loans are determined based on your parents money. If your parents have too much money (even if it is tied up some how) you can't get loans and you are screwed. Saying you are dumb for thinking about breaking your mom for your school is not at all your fault. You being nice and you get screwed. If you went mom would say you cost too much at school and if you don't get an awesome job after mom will blame you for going to a school that you didn't get a good job for. Far as i know not many jobs care that much about what school you went to.

fosizzlemynizzlE 0


xero_art 0

I'll admit I'm jealous. I was accepted to Cornell and couldn't go because my parents refused to pay. Rank does matter. Hopefully she's still going somewhere decent but in the end, they aren't just arbitrarily ranked based on how much they cost and the look of their campuses.

Paula844 7

#97 you are completely wrong. Need-based GRANTS are denied to people with too much money, not loans. What kind of dumbass lender would refuse to lend to somebody because they have TOO MUCH MONEY and would actually be able to pay it off?

Just because the OP threw out the letters doesn't mean she's necessarily a "******* idiot," though it was stupid to throw the acceptance letters away. People keep saying she should have applied for financial aid; I would not qualify for financial aid, but I still don't want my parents to have to pay the ridiculous tuition prices. Who said she didn't work her ass off to get into those schools? Also, the ranking of the school, while it is important in the eyes of employers, does not indicate how well someone will do in life. An ivy league education is only better than a non ivy league education because of prestige in many cases. My father, for example, makes a very good salary, and he works with MIT and Harvard graduates; he went to a state school that no one from my town would even consider going to because it's not prestigious enough for the rich, arrogant people here.

Thank you, Plexico! I take your advice into consideration, as you are obviously one of the most intelligent people on this site. However, it isn't for me. My family is broke. So I can't afford to live on campus (plus I'm 17). But what I'm going to college for is a certificate as opposed to a diploma. That's for my career. Then I can go back for whatever interests me and just general education (and I have every intention of doing that). The sad thing is, I'm going to college online because nowhere within 150 miles offers the program. I don't have a car because I am just now getting my GED due to more red tape, so I can't commute that far. To sum it up, I'm going to claw my way through college to get this certificate, then when I use that career for money, I can afford to really educate myself. But like I said, I value your advice and wisdom. I am aiming very high. :)

Sometimes being from a poor family actually helps in getting scholarships. (It is actually upper middle-class families that get treated the worst by financial aid systems. I grew up lower middle-class so we were OK.) Scholarships and financial aid can go beyond tuition and cover the costs of room and board, and maybe even books and fees. These are quite rare, though. I'm not sure what program you are studying, so it is hard for me to think of something that might help. Are your standardized test scores good? I think they are given too much weight in deciding who gets in where, but that is the reality. It's odd for me to feel that, because I did great on the PSAT, SAT, ACT, AP and later on the GRE. Are you able to get advice from someone who is doing what you want to do? It's great if you have a mentor like that. Feel free to ask me anything you like. I'll try to help as best I can. I wish you all the best. Now, let's go screw around with people with the ****** up lives! ;)

63, right on. I cannot believe the morons on this site. I doubt many of them were even accepted to college. People apply to colleges they're unlikely to get into all the time - for various reasons. Maybe the OP just wanted to see if she was good enough or even thought she might get financial aid. It doesn't matter, she did a nice thing by keeping it from her mom - so the mom wouldn't feel guilty about not being able to come up w/ the tuition money. Too bad the mom sounds a like a heinous bitch.

Harry_Poochi 0

Intoxicunt, no one cares about you. Stop talking and go back to your cardboard box on the street. No one gives a shit about poor people, you dumb ****.

LeCielNousAide 7

Plexico, i guess you feel like us people who can't get into an ivy league school are dumb, considering you just said you can't be around people "not as smart as you". seriously, go f***k yourself. i didn't get enough financial aid from St. Anselm and St. Michael's, which are supposed to be better schools than Assumption College, where I'm going in a week. i got 5 grand from St. Anselm and St. Michael's each per year. i could not afford that, where they cost 40 grand or more per year. i got 12 grand from Assumption per year. it came down to the money. i also tried my best in school and i could not have gotten better grades than i did. i had a 3.34 GPA. the closest to an ivy league i was able to apply to was Holy Cross, and i didn't get in. oh yeah, and there are people DROPPING Assumption because they can't afford it. my former roommate decided not to go, as did my current roommate's former roommates. Assumption is 40,000 a year. my cost is actually higher because of the two labs i have to take for my chemistry and biology classes (i'm majoring in biology). so shut the f***k up. i wouldn't consider myself dumb but if i met someone like you that's how i'd feel. it explains why those ivy league prats are so stuck-up and snobby. to the OP: FYL, explain to your mom why you chose a different college.

Plexico, I have no idea what either of the two morons above me are babbling about, nor do I care. So anyway, I'm going to be a broadcast captioner (or -ist?). As it just so happens, my mom is doing it as well. She has been in an online program for about a year. The reason I chose this career is, like I said, just for easy money to help me pursue what I really care about. I have yet to take any college entry standardized test. I'm currently working on trying to get my GED. I know I'm intelligent, but I dropped out of high school about when I started my sophomore year. So, I may be a bit rusty on some things. I know that sounds bad, but my school was a wretched hell. The last straw was when a boy "exposed himself" to me, and I thought, "Wow, this is some classy school here..." ...I wish FML had a chat system or something...

kky131313 0

This has nothing to do with loans or financial aid, if you get in and you can't afford it for w/e reason that's fine. At least let your mom know that you got in to those schools... ydi

What up 92? You are a pretentious jerk.

hbhman and LeCielNousAide, What offends you both is my LACK of pretense. At my age, I know what I am and have plenty of evidence to back it up. Often, dumb people put on pretenses to make themselves appear smarter, but less often, very smart people hide their intelligence to appear more normal. I just don't bother to hide what I've got anymore. If that offends you, ignore me. LeCielNousAide, I don't think you are dumb because of the college you attend. I think you are dumb because of your idiotic use of the black-and-white fallacy. You can be very smart and still be not as smart as someone who is exceptionally intelligent. You also appear to have this attitude that intelligence is the only way to measure a person's worth. That is also dumb. I've known very smart people who are useless (I'll bet you think you are reading one's words at this moment. ;) ) and people of ordinary intelligence with exceptional character and other wonderful gifts. I hope Assumption has a class in logic and that you take it.

#198, Isn't that weird how she made that happen?

Apparently I'm just magical. I REALLY wish this site would give out $1,000,000 to all users named 'Intoxicunt'. *Cough*. =]

YDI... All Ivy League schools have schemes to help you pay, and if you don't want her to pay, why don't you just pay for it yourself? Get a student loan! That's what I'm doing

just go to a community college, you still get the same job done, same profesionality, an ivy league college just means you can define long words.

@#197 "very smart people hide their intelligence to appear more normal." Very true. I try to do this, though it doesn't help that my mom refuses to stop bragging about my intelligence to everyone. Sometimes I wish I could be of about average intelligence; that way people wouldn't have ******* stupid expectations of my actions.

fudrick Don't I know what you are talking about! I've always said that very smart guys and exceptionally beautiful women have similar problems -- everyone else thinks that we can have no problems and has no sympathy for us. I've often tried to form a support group at my house to get the smart guys and hot women together to deal with our common issue. Hugs all around! I seem to always accidentally give the smart guys the wrong date or address, and none of the sexy ladies have ever shown up. Maybe you can make it work. ;)

Plexico, you live in Texas. Get one of the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders to come to your house for this support group. They could use a little extra "support".

arsenic660 4

your absolutely right, you know except for the people who don't qualify and the parents who have bad credit and can't get a parent plus loan. I understand your plight OP only not quite those schools because they were too expensive for me. I got accepted to Penn State and U. Pitt but couldn't get enough financial aid to cover the expenses so went with a lesser state school that gave me full tuition in scholarships not to mention grant money.

arsenic660 4

i have no clue why this posted to the top it was aimed at someone else dubbing the first part insignificant. Second part still holds true though :p

It sucks that your mom misunderstood the situation, but one has to respect what you did. And don't worry too much about undergraduate - your graduate work is really what matters. I ended up turning down Harvard to go to USC on a full ride, since I did not want to strain my parents' resources (especially since I have another sibling in college). It was a hard decision at times, since Harvard was where I had always wanted to go and some of my best friends went. However, I saved a lot of money and now I'm back at Harvard for law school. It all worked out in the end for me. So just work hard now. You are clearly an intelligent and capable person, so you should be able to study at one of those schools for graduate work, end up with a great education, and save a ton of money.

LeCielNousAide 7

to plexico: haha this isn't The Sims 3 I can't take a class in logic. and i don't think intelligence is a way to measure someone. do i ever think of my friends as smarter/less smart/as smart as to me? never. i don't judge my boyfriend that way either. i actually thought that's what you were doing.

What do you mean you can't take a class in logic? Formal logic is a course that any decent math department will offer, and you most definitely can take it. In fact, if you look closely, I bet you'll find several courses in different types/aspects of logic.

nyu is not all that great. it's only good for med sch. so get over yourself eman.

If intelligence isn't a way to measure someone, what is? It's certainly better than the more shallow options, such as beauty, popularity, etc. Character is important as well (e.g. Are they an asshole or not?), but a lot of people value intelligence, and for a damn good reason.

gistrong333 0

plexico, you sound like the kind of kid who never really fit in... anywhere. You finally went to an Ivy Leauge school (probably barely got accepted) and allowed that that to define who you are as a person. Congratulations. I just want to let everyone else who reads this thread to know that most Ivy Leauge people aren't as stuck up and worthless as plexico. Just because you are gifted, have enough money or get luck enough to go to an Ivy League school doesn't make you a better person. I have alot of smart friends. In fact, one of my friends was a Rhodes Scholar this year and another was awarded a Rotary scholarship to attend Oxford next year. They partied just as hard as everyone else and didn't have to, "dumb themselves down". Granted in class they would ask questions that even the professor didn't know the answer to, but out of the classroom they were normal down to earth kids. They didn't brag about their PSAT, SAT or any other tests scores; and i'm sure 20 years removed from college they wouldn't even remember having "great scores". Plexico FYL for being a middle aged man posting on a 17 yr old's thread trying to impress casual readers with your "educational pedigree", great test scores and obvious lack of personality and/or life.

Dear idiot #237: I'm not speaking for Plexico, but I'd like to point something out: He is HELPING me out as I'm entering college. He has excellent advice. He wasn't posting on my thread as a way for attention. What he's saying is relevant and helpful to me (the person he's talking to, since you obviously forgot). He's talking about the colleges he went to. This post is about college. See a correlation? Of course you don't. FYL for getting up on your high horse when someone is trying to make a point that isn't even directed toward you.

Actually, some student loans, like Federal Perkins and Federal Stafford Subsidized, are need based loans. The Federal Stafford Unsubsidized not only don't cover very much on their own, they charge interest while you're still in school and it capitalizes. Not to mention that since she's a dependent, she'd only be allowed to borrow less than an independent student anyway, her parents would have to take out a Federal PLUS loan or private loans... And if her parents don't want to, then she's screwed on the loan thing.

Bucinka 5

Actually, it's usually an intro course in the philospohy department. But yes, also usually open to all, and a good class to take on a part-time basis.

PrimeStarscream 30

I actually read in readers digest that smarter kids choose cheaper colleges so they wouldn't have the financial burden of paying a higher tuition/loan- like the education is that much different anyway

evangldbrg 0

YDI for not talking to your mom and throwing them away. If you can't afford it, there's always financial aid...

Going into debt isn't always an attractive option to everybody. It's a big risk and many people find themselves with an education that doesn't make them any more employable, and is left with a huge debt they're unable to repay.

Jazzywrites007 2

No genius, Financial Aid isn't always a loan. It's also a Pell Grant, or Scholarships which don't need to be repaid. I was 32nd in my class and I got Huge scholarships so I'm more than certain that the OP could have gotten money for school...

xero_art 0

she probably got huge scholarships too, but not to cornell....

Yes, going to an ivy league will open doors for you, but there are still windows open for non-ivy leaguers who are willing to work a little harder and reach a little farther. It's not always where you go, but what you do there. eman4life- That is not necessarily true. Sure any private universities' tuition can run as high as an ivy league but some private schools are known for giving out better financial aid than others. AND..if OP graduated top of her class, going to a less competitive private school would make her more competitive for academic scholarships. Whereas at any ivy almost everyone is top of their class.

But why deal with financial aid if you can get a free ride to a state school or a large scholarship to a private school?

This is your future you're talking about. It's more important than a little extra cash. She's a bitch though.

Uh what. Have you never heard of financial aid? Loans? Scholarships? Apparently you are not as smart as you think you are if you throw away opportunities like that.

You forgot one; J O B. Is it really THAT novel of an idea to EARN your way thru school anymore?!?!?!?

darkblue_13 0

college is far to expensive for students to pay for it themsleves anymore. How is a student supposed to earn 40,000 A YEAR at a job that probably pays 10 dollars an hour, while attending school? Its not student are lazt, but thats just not possible.

LeCielNousAide 7

agreed. i don't know where i'd fit in a part time job with my psychotic class schedule that includes concert band and two labs (one for chem and one for bio). it's not laziness, i might get a job at the school once freshman year is over and my schedule frees up a bit. my parents are paying, we didn't get much financial aid from FAFSA but i got 12,000 in scholarships to Assumption College, which is a little over 40,000 a year due to my labs, which cost extra. there is no way i would've been able to pay for it myself...i worked at target once or twice a week this past school year, and i could not have worked more without my schoolwork suffering since i also did dance, concert band, and jazz band.

glompable 19

Why apply if you didn't want to spend the money? >.>

letitbe56 0

That's a good point. Unless you paid the application fees yourself, applying was more of a waste of her money than your going to one of those schools would have been.

letitbe56 0

YDI. It's a little thing called financial aid, and another thing called student loans. You could even have tried for some scholarships. It's how the rest of us made it through school. You could have too.

vog32 0

that was really stupid of you there are a million opportunities

ozymandias_fml 0

Why would she have had to pay for those anyway? It's *your* education, pay for it yourself, you freaking lazy mooching bum!

absolutely disagree. it's a parent's job to educate their child.

After 18, it should be the child legally becomes an adult. So many options become availiable as to what it does without it's parents - education is one of them.

Ok. For one, it's not a parents job to educate the child. It's a parents job to prepare a child for reality. A college education isn't required to function. It helps, and many regarding professions require a degree, but a person can function just fine without any college education. Also, part of that job is to ensure the child has a proper value on everything, including his or her own education; paying $30,000 out of pocket for your kids does nothing to teach them the true value of their education. At that, just because a parent pays for some or all of their child's education doesn't mean that the kid is a mooch. I went to high school/college with some truly admirable workers, who did music, sports, worked more than 20 hours a week, and were heavily involved in school and/or church. And some of them also had their college tuition paid for by their parents. They may not be paying, but that doesn't mean they aren't working.

It might be the job of the parent to make sure their child gets through high school, but people should not expect their parents to pay for college. I attend a school that costs almost $50000 a year and my parents don't pay for it at all, because they can't afford it. I have to take out ~10,000 a year in loans, because I chose to go to a school where I will be able to get the best education in my field as possible. I don't resent my parents for not helping me, because I know that the rest of my family would not be ok if I expected them to help me. I really don't think someone should automatically assume that their parents should pay for them.

In my family, the parents are responsible for the kids' education through college. We know technically when a kid turns 18, the parents aren't legally responsible to give him or her another dime, but it is one of our family values to support kids all through college. If you don't want to pay for your kids' college, invest that money in condoms, vasectomies, tubal ligations, etc. Thinking that a child in 21st Century America can make it in life is delusional. Even now, a bachelor's degree is starting to be insufficient for more and more jobs.