Miscellaneous: Today, my mother told me I should think about quitting school....

By Kitty_Gem - United States

Today, my mother told me I should think about quitting school. She explained that the reason was because she didn't want me to be more successful than my older sisters. FML

I agree, your life sucks

60102

You deserved it

2556

Favorite

Miscellaneous

Proactive

Mind control

Decisions, decisions

By Anonymous - United States - Brimfield

Today, I got to wash my ex-wife's dishes at her apartment while her new boyfriend played with my daughter in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57923

You deserved it

12777

Favorite

By mandy_2480 - China

Today, I had to stop my 26 year old fiancé from picking his nose and eating it like a little boy. Three times. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26139

You deserved it

4920

Favorite

By colts609380 - United States - Corona

Today, I finally gained the nerve to ask out the girl of my dreams. She responded by saying, "You need to lower your standards." FML

I agree, your life sucks

30765

You deserved it

3097

Favorite

By today

Today, I put on some goggles on in the pool, only to go underwater and see an old man "discreetly" jerking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38946

You deserved it

4385

Favorite

By hlev24 - United States

Today, I was on my way home from a friends house. I called home ahead of time to let my parents know. My dad picked up and in a panting voice said, "Now isn't a good time, drive around the block for 15 minutes." FML

I agree, your life sucks

103858

You deserved it

6673

Favorite

By Alexis

Today, I took a cab ride home from a bar. After a few minutes of horrible driving, I felt sick. The cab driver got so mad she locked me in the car and started driving me to the cops unless I payed her extra. Basically, I paid $120 for a five-minute cab ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6573

You deserved it

1355

Favorite

By UnexpectedMom - 31/12/2020 02:01

The fertility dance worked

Today, I'm currently 9 months pregnant with my second child within 3 years. I was told by 4 different doctors over the course of the past 5 years that I'm incapable of having kids, due to a medical condition that affects my reproductive system. FML

I agree, your life sucks

632

You deserved it

299

Favorite

By thedri11 - United States - Oxnard

Today, I was so broke I went to Costco, not to buy anything, but to eat their free food samples. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32603

You deserved it

3691

Favorite

By roseland - United States - Hilton

Today, my boyfriend nicknamed my vagina after a local waterpark. It wasn't even that annoying until his friends started asking me how much I charged to let people "ride n' slide". FML

I agree, your life sucks

59992

You deserved it

6177

Favorite

By stupidbullcrêpe - Brazil - Santos

Today, my pregnant wife broke down in tears over the fact that since moving to Brazil for my job, we don't have regular access to macaroni and cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27046

You deserved it

6243

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Lititz

Today, after months of job searching, I finally got a call about one of my applications. I wasn't able to answer it, but he left a voicemail. I've listened to it over and over, and I can't understand the contact information. He called from a restricted number. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27603

You deserved it

1921

Favorite

By aussie worker

Today, it was my first day at a new job as a waitress for a wedding function centre. As I was opening the door to collect dirty plates from the guests, I bumped into a colleague carrying a tray full of full champagne glasses, all of which fell and smashed on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3354

You deserved it

391

Favorite

By tinfoilnirvana - United States

Today, I went for lunch at a Chinese restaurant near my home that I have never eaten at before. It was so good I went back tonight for more, and the restaurant has been boarded up. It is closed due to food contamination. Inspections happened today. I ate contaminated food for lunch today. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53841

You deserved it

4309

Favorite

By chrono19 - United States - Bremerton

Today, I got a birthday package from my parents. It was all the stuff I'd forgotten there when visiting a month ago, along with some other things I'd left behind when I moved out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40400

You deserved it

5663

Favorite

By Lola987

Today, on my birthday, I tried to be a good girlfriend by making sure my boyfriend of 3 years alarms were set for work on his phone. Noticed he’s back to talking to his ex as the messenger bubble had her face in it.. He was asking for boob pictures...FML

I agree, your life sucks

2604

You deserved it

278

Favorite

By csgocockblock - United States - Jenks

Today, when I got home from work I was pretty "in the mood" so I put on some cute undies and a tank top and went to get my boyfriends attention, he was so into his new computer game all I got was a half smile and a pat on the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17343

You deserved it

2688

Favorite

By Nemo

Today, I got an e-mail from a company saying that I would not be a good fit for them. Strangely, it's quite similar to an e-mail they sent me last month. And the month before. They aren't generated e-mails, each one is different. They just e-mail me every month to remind me that I suck. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4174

You deserved it

252

Favorite

By whitey - Australia

Today, I went to the beach. After applying sunscreen liberally and doing my best to stay out of the sun, I came home with the worst sunburn I have ever had. I almost needed to go to the hospital. I am officially too pale to be allowed outside in summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29291

You deserved it

4221

Favorite

By lalalalalala - United States

Today, I was excited to have a window seat on my three hour flight to New York. When I got to my row, I noticed the screaming newborn occupying the seat in front of me, and a pair of toddlers behind me. I then looked to my seat to find I have no window. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35713

You deserved it

3713

Favorite

By Sadmom - United States

Today, my 7 year old daughter decided to use my laptop without my permission. She accidentally got SpaghettiOs on the screen, then used the hard side of a sponge, filled with soapy water, to scrub both the keyboard and screen of my laptop to clean it off so Mommy wouldn't know. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42530

You deserved it

5315

Favorite

By Cecilian - 6/3/2021 00:30

Stand up guy

Today, I found out why my fiancé has been treating me like garbage lately. He thought that me getting fed up and dumping him would save him the unpleasant task of having to confess to the affair he’s been having with his coworker. We’re expecting our baby girl in 4 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1077

You deserved it

Favorite

By Anonymous - 17/6/2020 23:04

The end of the road

Today, after my parents treating love like a war, always trying to score some sort of victory over each other, while me and my wife never argued a day in our lives, I’m the one staring down the barrel of divorce, while my parents have been happily married for over 50 years. I just don’t understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1665

You deserved it

307

Favorite

By FMyEx - United States - Southington

Today, I was bartending. A guest was getting belligerent so I had to cut him off. He called me a bitch and threw the rest of his drink in my face before storming off. The belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29473

You deserved it

4856

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, after 6 months of training and going to the gym every day, I realized that the only thing I've lost is $300 worth of gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23487

You deserved it

5073

Favorite

By Breadline single mom - 26/12/2020 19:56

"Life is unfair…"

Today, my deadbeat ex-husband who works at a country club was invited to play poker with some club members as they needed a last player. He’s rubbish at poker but got some lucky hands and ended up winning £112,000 from those rich guys. Life isn’t fair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

809

You deserved it

1251

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

I agree, your life sucks

24044

You deserved it

37398

Favorite

By Justme - United States - Lafayette

Today, I got the bill for the flowers my husband arranged to be delivered to me while he's out of town next week. I also got the bill for the flowers he's sending to the floozy he'll be seeing next week while he's out of town. The gift tag for it was: "I can't wait to see you." FML

I agree, your life sucks

60533

You deserved it

3846

Favorite

By shotdown - United States

Today, in the middle of hot passionate sex with my husband, he stops and tells me he won't be able to finish until I go brush my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13561

You deserved it

41395

Favorite

By Anon - United States - Omaha

Today, I proudly told my family I lost 15 pounds. My dad looked me up and down and said, "Well, you've got a looooong way to go." FML

I agree, your life sucks

21152

You deserved it

1948

Favorite

By Anonymous - Singapore

Today, my husband's car was stolen from our driveway while he was out jogging. We'd recently had a huge fight, and he accused me of having done this to get revenge. I was at work all day, but it seems this doesn't make any difference to his dumb, paranoid ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32291

You deserved it

6483

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I wasn't feeling too well. I decided to bring my laptop with me to the bathroom, because I figured I would be in there for a while. Things were going great, until I felt a burp coming. Next thing I know, my computer is covered with puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12240

You deserved it

38525

Favorite

By sharky - United States

Today, I was at Disneyland with a friend. We were watching the light show, and when Tinkerbell came out, we both started crying. Some guy noticed and called us "fucking pussies". FML

I agree, your life sucks

12517

You deserved it

45615

Favorite

By librarygirl - United States

Today, I was volunteering at the library. A kid came up and asked me to help him peel the back off his sticker. It took me so long the kid left. Determined, I still tried to peel it off. Fifteen minutes later, the librarian came over, looked once at it, and told me it wasn't a sticker. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12144

You deserved it

41760

Favorite

By wow kid just leave me alone - United States

Today, after math class, the resident creepy kid approached me and asked me out. I've only spoken to him twice before, so I was creeped out, and I politely declined. He totally lost it, and shouted that I'm a "friend-zoning bitch" before storming out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27548

You deserved it

3691

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was feeling abnormally self-confident, so I decided to skip putting on any makeup. The first thing my 7-year-old cousin said when she saw me was, "You look like my pet rat!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

47537

You deserved it

5358

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, after buying dinner from the supermarket, I had the change in my hand, and my wallet. In the parking lot, a quarter fell out of my hand, and right next to the street drain. As I went to pick it up, my wallet fell down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50240

You deserved it

11235

Favorite

By Jobless

Today, my new job e-mailed to tell me the role was no longer available, leaving me to start my job search all over again. My notice at my current job ends this week. But it's OK, because as compensation for my 'distress', the company sent £100 worth of vouchers... to the wrong address. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4392

You deserved it

251

Favorite

By badbride - United States

Today, I accidentally slept in two hours later than I was supposed to. Today is my wedding day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33161

You deserved it

34679

Favorite

By nobrows - United States - Malvern

Today, my sister gave me a makeover. I protested, but she insisted it'd look great. After an eternity of eyebrow plucking, she handed me the mirror. I now have extremely badly-drawn sharpie eyebrows. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26867

You deserved it

6370

Favorite

By Walker - United Kingdom

Today, my parents, who are divorced, were arguing over who has to pay for my bus pass. They decided they wouldn't pay unless the other one did too. Neither will pay the £60 it'll cost for my bus pass. I now have to walk to school every day, in freezing winter weather. It's 9 miles. Each way. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48298

You deserved it

4089

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By 24788 | 6

#520086 - Thursday 27 August 2009 23:13

Don't listen to her... You are your own person. Is she going to pay all your bills & expenses?

By where_i_stood | 0

#520089 - Thursday 27 August 2009 23:14

Don't quit.
It's your life.

COMMENTS

By silverwolfe2121 | 0

#520077 - Thursday 27 August 2009 23:12

Ahahaha that sucks. FYL.

Edit: First? Wow :D

lol123mely | 0

#520211 - Thursday 27 August 2009 23:49

heres your prize, *cookie*

Marakara | 0

#520288 - Friday 28 August 2009 0:16

"Im doing so well in school the only bad part is that my mom thinks I'm -too- successful. MLIG"

djb23 | 0

#520850 - Friday 28 August 2009 3:57

shit that sounds just like cinderella..

InfamousRaider | 15

#5525621 - Saturday 8 June 2013 5:39

Who cares if your first

By DanizzleXFoSho | 6

#520078 - Thursday 27 August 2009 23:12

That's fail..

slasher29 | 0

#520318 - Friday 28 August 2009 0:26

yes, but that reminds me of cinderalla

screwtaylor | 0

#520352 - Friday 28 August 2009 0:39

#44 Thanks for copying what I said in my comment.

;)

VampiressMiharu | 0

#532541 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:36

Oooooh! Somebody copied your comment because this FML really is reminiscent of Cinderella's story and yours was so ha-ha-hilarious. It's copyright infringement!

Bitch, please.

screelov | 0

#1242310 - Sunday 15 August 2010 1:16

woah. calm the fuck down.

By Zombierella | 2

#520080 - Thursday 27 August 2009 23:13

Thats a lame excuse
|:

By whoaelena | 0

#520084 - Thursday 27 August 2009 23:13

FAIL!

wow...Mommy Dearest sucks there!

By 24788 | 6

#520086 - Thursday 27 August 2009 23:13

Don't listen to her... You are your own person. Is she going to pay all your bills & expenses?

By where_i_stood | 0

#520089 - Thursday 27 August 2009 23:14

Don't quit.
It's your life.

By where_i_stood | 0

#520090 - Thursday 27 August 2009 23:14

Don't quit.
It's your life.

By screeewed | 0

#520094 - Thursday 27 August 2009 23:14

http://mylifeisscrewed.com/

By screwtaylor | 0

#520095 - Thursday 27 August 2009 23:14

I think the OP is Cinderella.. but she just doesn't want us to know.

By rick_james_b17ch | 0

#520100 - Thursday 27 August 2009 23:15

FAIL!!