Today, I was driving down the road when I got to a red light. I looked over and saw a hot chick in a convertible, so I spoke to my window, thinking she couldn't hear me, "Hey girl, I may have a tiny dick but I make up for it in speed and stamina." She looked over. I forgot about the sunroof. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I was driving and saw two hot girls on the sidewalk so I rolled down the window to whistle at them. However, I failed to notice that the car in front of me had stopped at a red light. I rear ended the car, the girls ran away laughing their asses off, and now I have to pay for the damage. FML
Today, I pulled up to a red light. My ex was in the next car, and my car's windows are so tinted that you can't see through them, so I flipped him off. I was driving my mom's car. FML
Today, I was driving along when I saw a hot girl walking. I decided to impress her by doing a 180 degree turn. Successfully pulling off my trick, I decided to back up so I could go the right way. Not looking behind, I backed up and smashed into a wall. FML
Today, I was in my car and a cute guy pulled up next to me. He looked at me and smiled, but in order to be cool, I pretended not to notice. I also pretended that I was listening to music and was completely absorbed in it, singing passionately. I wasn't even listening to music and my window was down. FML
Today, I was driving home and stopped at a light. A cute guy in the truck ahead of me waved me forward and told me to roll down my window. It was the first time a cute guy had talked to me in a while so I was pretty excited. He told me to turn my lights on. FML
Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML
Today, a very attractive girl moved in across the road from me. As I was leaving, I noticed she was looking out her window at me. I tried playing it cool, only to end up tripping over my own feet, hands in pocket, and faceplanting the hood of my dad's car. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML
Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML
Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML
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Top comments
Esperantist 0
This is where you point to your non-existent bluetooth headset on the side of your head facing away from her and say "Ha, this lady thought I was talking to her- Sorry Miss!"
Hgm09 0
So now, not only did you announce your inadequate penis size to this young woman, but you've managed to tell the rest of the world, too. I mean, it's not really a big deal, but you obviously care enough to be embarassed that she heard you. You're pretty dumb.
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Comments (91)
Esperantist 0
This is where you point to your non-existent bluetooth headset on the side of your head facing away from her and say "Ha, this lady thought I was talking to her- Sorry Miss!"
Darraghscoot 0
haha would you happen to be bill gates?
thegirlnextdoorr 0
LMAO. Fail. I'd be soo embarrassed. YDI though... But hey. It's not the end of the world. Lesson learnes right? :)
thegirlnextdoorr 0
Learned*
Paradoxasaurus 0
Wow, a good first comment. That's a great idea, but it doesn't seem like OP has the brains to come up with it that quickly. Also, OP deserves it for having a tiny dick.
HANGtheFREAK 0
That's what you get for being a chauvinistic pig.
Lee002 8
YDI for being attracted to women.
sebster5858 0
WTF?
technicolourain1 0
I'm sorry, but how is saying that being chauvinistic? ...
lennonlucado 1
Chauvinist= excessively patriotic
MissAmz 7
Don't see how that's being a 'chauvinist pig'. Someone needs to lighten up a little.
eyepuppy 31
what?
Tenantry 0
Her reaction?
EmreArslan 11
Oh so he is the 1 from smash.mouth.hasatinydick.com! XD
Hgm09 0
So now, not only did you announce your inadequate penis size to this young woman, but you've managed to tell the rest of the world, too. I mean, it's not really a big deal, but you obviously care enough to be embarassed that she heard you. You're pretty dumb.
xXJMcDowellXx 0
I clap for your correct grammar. ....clap clap clap clap....
mk58 31
If everyone clapped when people had good grammar, their hands would probably fall off.
z4opv14 0
#4 You say it all :)
Mistress_Puppy 0
That's....just very funny! Were there other cars around,'cause I'm sure someone else must have had their window down too. xDDDD
Xinxinix 0
Oh geez. So, is that your technique in getting women to date you? "I have a small penis!", you're a genius.
Shuttertap 0
Ha! agree with #1's idea.
woodstock_fml 0
why would you even say that, even if the roof WAS up?
Lucicx0 0
exactly what i was thinking #9, the guy must get nooo action.