Today, I was driving down the road when I got to a red light. I looked over and saw a hot chick in a convertible, so I spoke to my window, thinking she couldn't hear me, "Hey girl, I may have a tiny dick but I make up for it in speed and stamina." She looked over. I forgot about the sunroof. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I was driving and saw two hot girls on the sidewalk so I rolled down the window to whistle at them. However, I failed to notice that the car in front of me had stopped at a red light. I rear ended the car, the girls ran away laughing their asses off, and now I have to pay for the damage. FML
Today, I pulled up to a red light. My ex was in the next car, and my car's windows are so tinted that you can't see through them, so I flipped him off. I was driving my mom's car. FML
Today, I was driving along when I saw a hot girl walking. I decided to impress her by doing a 180 degree turn. Successfully pulling off my trick, I decided to back up so I could go the right way. Not looking behind, I backed up and smashed into a wall. FML
Today, I was in my car and a cute guy pulled up next to me. He looked at me and smiled, but in order to be cool, I pretended not to notice. I also pretended that I was listening to music and was completely absorbed in it, singing passionately. I wasn't even listening to music and my window was down. FML
Today, I was driving home and stopped at a light. A cute guy in the truck ahead of me waved me forward and told me to roll down my window. It was the first time a cute guy had talked to me in a while so I was pretty excited. He told me to turn my lights on. FML
Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML
Today, a very attractive girl moved in across the road from me. As I was leaving, I noticed she was looking out her window at me. I tried playing it cool, only to end up tripping over my own feet, hands in pocket, and faceplanting the hood of my dad's car. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML
Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML
Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML
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Top comments
Esperantist 0
This is where you point to your non-existent bluetooth headset on the side of your head facing away from her and say "Ha, this lady thought I was talking to her- Sorry Miss!"
Hgm09 0
So now, not only did you announce your inadequate penis size to this young woman, but you've managed to tell the rest of the world, too. I mean, it's not really a big deal, but you obviously care enough to be embarassed that she heard you. You're pretty dumb.
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Comments (91)
Cassy_fml 0
Wow, you're really asking for "small penis" jokes. Well, YDI for your chauvinistic comment, your absent-mindedness and posting this on a public website. I'm still giving you a point for your sincerity, though.
jennyozz 0
what has me confused is that you were talking to yourself... about your dick.
need_cheese 0
Perfect technique to get a woman.
dizzlewizzle 0
jeez everyone is so critical of people who post their FML's. get over it, it's only entertainment. judging people on one incident that most likely makes you laugh is stupid.
hawkmcge3 0
dizzlewizzle teehee
Racheldee 0
Same thought.lmao!
alwex 0
well said dizzlewizzle
alex_vik 1
So you were trying to pretend to talk to her? Are you really that pathetic you can't even talk to someone for real?
dyne 0
He was probably just making a joke to himself with it, we all do stuff like that sometimes even if what we say isn't true. Don't be so mean :p jumping on the poor guys back.
McZeal 0
that's a can't-miss pickup line
know_your_role 0
sun roof open wouldn't make sound more audible. learn physics.
ohdamn_fml 2
Lol you have a small penis