Darraghscoot

Today, my boyfriend called me by his mother's name for the 100th time. I'm a guy. FML

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Today, I realized every time I go to take a poop, my 9 month old crawls into the bathroom and sobs at my feet. I now have to let my 9 month old sit on my lap while I shit, because I can't do it any other way. The end to all privacy has now come. FML

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Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML

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Today, I was walking with my girlfriend of a year and a half on the beach. Everything was fine until she saw a plane with a banner behind it saying "Cassie, will you marry me?" She said yes. I didn't order a plane. FML

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Today, I was so bored I googled the word "bored." The results were boring. FML

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