Love: Today, I pulled up to a red light. My ex was in the next car,...

By queenbitch - 20/04/2015 01:39 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I pulled up to a red light. My ex was in the next car, and my car's windows are so tinted that you can't see through them, so I flipped him off. I was driving my mom's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 848

You deserved it 30 574

Love

Hiding from the drama

BO Central

Stressed out

Not going well, is it?

By Anonymous - 24/03/2021 20:00 - United States

Today, I've been married for six months, my husband and I are in our early twenties, and not only does he have absolutely no interest in any kind of sexual act with me, he actually becomes angry and irritated when I try to come on to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 219

You deserved it 193

By great idea - 11/04/2013 00:40 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my social teacher thought it would be a great idea to have a casual debate about Margaret Thatcher and her legacy. Within 10 minutes, the entire class was yelling, screaming, throwing stuff at each other. I got hit in the face with a binder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 370

You deserved it 3 861

'Murica

By Maryann - 08/02/2018 01:30

Today, I told my dad I started taking jiu-jitsu lessons. He responded by laughing and saying, "Martial arts are for pussies, you should just get a gun." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 276

You deserved it 623

By NeoDepressed - 31/03/2019 12:00 - Czech Republic

Today my parents screamed at me for cutting my wrists. They asked me if i want a therapist. I said idk. Then my mom said "But wait its going to cost a lot of money".. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 160

You deserved it 603

By graciegold95 - 06/12/2014 16:10 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my daughter decided it'd be funny to change the time on my clock. My boss didn't think it was funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 830

You deserved it 2 926

By anna - 31/10/2013 18:27 - United States - Hattiesburg

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 304

You deserved it 9 705

By OhNo. - 27/07/2009 04:07 - United States

Today, I had a job interview, but I arrived kind of late. I was in so much of a hurry that I hit a woman walking by in the face with the door. I offered to drive her to the hospital. Turns out that she was going to be interviewing me. She didn't offer to reschedule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 942

You deserved it 13 663

By butch - 13/11/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, my upstairs neighbor congratulated me on keeping him 'til dawn with my girlfriend and the chick in the apartment next to us. He doesn't know how I got them to agree to a threesome. Since I was at my folks all weekend, neither do I. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 337

You deserved it 2 367

By Anonymous - 12/12/2012 02:53 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I started a new job. I'm now trapped in a small office with a woman who says, "Oh my gravy!" constantly. In response to everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 467

You deserved it 2 193

By Seanzy - 30/03/2009 20:16 - United States

Today, the girl I've had a crush on forever asked me why the pin on my Letterman jacket had two guys doing it. I told her it was for participating in a wrestling tournament. And she responded, "Oh I thought you were finally coming out of the closet!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 888

You deserved it 6 836

By aerythia - 08/12/2012 16:12 - United States - Nashville

Today, it's my birthday and my ex husband texted me at midnight to tell happy birthday. Too bad he couldn't have texted my new husband to remind him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 587

You deserved it 5 486

By Anonymous - 23/05/2013 10:52 - United States

Today, in preparation for a third interview for my dream job, I spent an hour selecting the perfect outfit. I hung everything on my bedroom door and went to shower. My dog decided to play tug-of-war with the clothing and redesign the shoes. The only thing to survive unscathed was the hanger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 197

You deserved it 7 350

Extreme late fees

By Martin - 08/09/2020 23:01 - Switzerland

Today, I had an appointment to pull some wisdom teeth. I wrote the wrong time in my calendar. Showed up an hour late and they didn't pull the one tooth that actually hurts. Now I've got the pay for the time I was late, plus wait until November to pull the rest. I waited 5 months for this appointment due to the coronavirus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 1 240

People of Walmart

By FayBerry88 - 04/07/2020 08:08

Today, my four-year-old son asked me for a "boobie hug" in Walmart. It's something his dad thinks is cute and I've just gotten used to, so I hugged him without question. From the other end of the aisle, a strange man asked, "Can I have one too?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 338

You deserved it 429

By pridekills - 19/08/2012 04:19 - United States - Mulberry

Today, my co-worker told me I should stop smoking cigarettes because it makes my breath "smell like shit" and makes my teeth look as yellow as corn. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 120

You deserved it 8 996

By Anonymous - 01/01/2015 15:09 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my little brother that my pads were not in fact "big band-aids" and that he should probably remove them from his legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 120

You deserved it 3 268

By Sunshinenwhiskey - 05/05/2016 15:10 - United States - Dallas

Today, I found out why my sister hasn't been answering my texts or phone calls. Her husband blocked my number on her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 707

You deserved it 966

By russianfail - 04/12/2013 16:24 - United States - Dallas

Today, I'm not getting paid 400$ per month because I failed my Russian language proficiency test. Russian is my first language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 384

You deserved it 16 651

By futuregigolo - 22/12/2012 00:11 - United States - Strasburg

Today, I went to the local used books store to sell all my college textbooks. I spent several hundred dollars on them in total. I ended up walking out of the shop a pathetic $3.50 richer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 887

You deserved it 7 648

By fuck off, dad - 02/01/2014 17:07 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my dad is going through a midlife crisis. He now wants to be less like a dad and more like a "best friend" to me. This mainly involves him constantly texting me, sending me stuff on Snapchat, and saying stuff like "wicked cool", "bazinga", and "swag" every chance he gets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 156

You deserved it 4 766

By JimiHendrix - 01/03/2013 01:55 - France - Luynes

Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 906

You deserved it 7 339

By st00pid - 04/03/2011 06:07 - Canada

Today, I found out that if you see a picture in your boss's office of a extremely good looking, big breasted woman kissing him on the cheek, not to comment. Because that extremely good looking, big breasted woman, just might be his daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 567

You deserved it 44 973

By Badabim - 30/04/2018 20:30

Today, 5 minutes before closing, a customer was taking a bike from the row while I helped someone else. The customer ended up pushing the whole row down and left instantly without even apologizing. It took me about an hour to pick up the bikes and check for damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 531

You deserved it 197

By Anonymous - 21/01/2013 03:45 - United States - Portland

Today, my parents have kept their bet going about not turning the heat on all season. I woke up this morning to it being the same temperature inside as it was outside. It's snowing out there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 473

You deserved it 2 317

By thecaptainmorgan - 12/10/2014 04:04 - United States - Tulsa

Today, my boss discovered that I'm prone to random fainting, due to hypoglycemia. He has now nicknamed me "fainting goat" and makes relentless bleating noises every time he sees me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 127

You deserved it 3 114

By Stephie2009 - 30/10/2010 06:33 - United States

Today, my mother got remarried. I am now officially older than my step-father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 615

You deserved it 3 128

By galladore - 12/12/2014 15:17 - United States - Bensenville

Today, my oldest friend got engaged to her loving boyfriend of one year. Meanwhile, I can't even get my boyfriend of more than four years to commit to a decision of what he wants for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 436

You deserved it 4 901

By mclovin09 - 18/12/2009 19:52 - United States

Today, my wife entered in an ugliest sweater competition at her work. She wore a plain white sweater with a picture of my face printed on it. She came home with first prize. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 999

You deserved it 4 088

By thickly - 19/09/2016 17:31 - United States - Fayetteville

Today, my boss had to order some more work pants since mine were worn out after 7 months. He told me the next set I would have to buy myself since they last workers about 2 years, and I must be treating them too roughly. I didn't want to admit that my thighs rubbing together ended up shredding the fabric. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 518

You deserved it 1 880

Return to sender

By PolarBear2020 - 16/04/2021 23:05

Today, I was notified by my bank that the government stimulus check I had deposited last week had been returned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 59

By SmallAngel - 22/03/2013 00:35 - United States - Aurora

Today, I found out my mom thought I was a lesbian because I dated a girl in high school. I didn't date anyone in high school. Apparently, guys never asked me out because my best friend told everyone that I was her girlfriend. I had a two-year lesbian relationship that I never knew about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 180

You deserved it 3 551

By Anonymous - 11/07/2014 17:45 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I decided to bring down a very old fan from the attic. I plugged it in, and as soon as I turned it on, tiny spiders were blown all over my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 604

You deserved it 18 274

By TooShortToCleanThat - 20/03/2015 03:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 390

You deserved it 3 741

By whatever - 24/11/2012 07:02 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my long-distance boyfriend broke up with me. Tomorrow he should be getting the super long love letter that I poured my heart into and sent him a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 169

You deserved it 2 460

By Anonymous - 31/12/2014 03:34 - United States - Blacksburg

Today, my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me. I'm a massage/physical therapist and treat clients, mostly athletes, in my home. My neighbours saw the steady stream of young, buff guys coming to my house and concluded that I'm a gay prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 953

You deserved it 3 010

Exhausted

By snoozes - 16/11/2021 11:00 - United States

Today, my husband and I have officially become that couple that has to schedule sex. Between his working, my going back to school, raising kids, doing housework and homework, we just haven’t had time. Last night we tried to be spontaneous and get it on. We both fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 197

You deserved it 175

By RiceCrispyTreats - 01/09/2015 16:46 - United States - Pelham

Today, I left my phone outside on the grass while I went inside to get a drink. I didn't expect my dad to run over it with the lawn mower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 835

You deserved it 28 292

By pritch44 - 17/06/2010 16:12 - United States

Today, I found out that we have six skunks under my shed. While I was mowing the lawn, they all came out and sprayed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 477

You deserved it 4 034

By Anonymous - 23/11/2009 10:13 - United States

Today, I found out that some men think it's ok to clip their fingernails at the table, in a restaurant on a first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 753

You deserved it 2 981

By TLT - 16/11/2009 18:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over to celebrate our anniversary. He had a card written in crayon with my name spelled wrong, and a basket I had seen his mother throw in the trash filled with flower petals ripped from my mom's garden. Our anniversary was 3 days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 299

You deserved it 5 812

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Top comments

amileah13 26

Monday 20 April 2015 10:21

Okay.... What's the point of flipping them off if they can't see you? Just saying

timb1234 13

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Monday 20 April 2015 10:10

Dont worry he just saw a bird

timb1234 13

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Monday 20 April 2015 10:10

Dont worry he just saw a bird

Spike300 12

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Monday 20 April 2015 10:15

How is this an FML? Giving someone the finger isn't really a big deal.

kbsimmer 14

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Monday 20 April 2015 10:19

Agreed

Dick_diamond 22

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Monday 20 April 2015 10:16

Letting your ex live in your head like that.. Not a good look. Whatever happened to just letting go? YDI

WaltzingPhanthom 23

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Monday 20 April 2015 10:43

Let it goooooo! Let it gooooooooo!!! I'm one with the wind and... I'm sorry. Thumb me down.

VoldooPed 20

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Monday 20 April 2015 14:11

#15 Or, you know, you could just do neither.

amileah13 26

Monday 20 April 2015 10:21

Okay.... What's the point of flipping them off if they can't see you? Just saying

nonsensical 26

Monday 20 April 2015 10:47

well it's a way to insult them without them knowing you're insulting them. so you appear classy yet you can release your anger, i suppose...

xx000o 27

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Monday 20 April 2015 11:37

Outwardly it doesn't do anything, but deep down inside it probably felt pretty damn good.

jasminexxxx 17

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Monday 20 April 2015 14:01

You can stick your hand out the window

CaroAurelia 12

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Monday 20 April 2015 17:45

Well, I flip off my old high school when I drive by it (not just people; the entire high school), whether anyone can see it or not. It's the principle of the thing.

ChristinePi 36

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Monday 20 April 2015 19:17

I think the point is, it wasn't OP's car so the windows weren't actually tinted and they forgot.

soulcrusher11 16

Monday 20 April 2015 19:45

yea the point is for them to see

Hurley_fml 21

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Monday 20 April 2015 21:42

I'm assuming she thought she was in her own tinted car, but was in her mom's car which probably isn't tinted.

drunk_crow 12

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Monday 20 April 2015 21:47

#35 What?

dukez81 17

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Tuesday 21 April 2015 0:04

She said her car is tinted and can't see thru her window but she was driving her moms car not hers.

VonBlitzkrieg 27

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Tuesday 21 April 2015 0:58

Some people are cowards, and doing doing stuff like this makes them feel better about themselves.

Donuts202 13

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Tuesday 21 April 2015 2:53

Sometimes it just feels good.

CrazedGunner 22

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Tuesday 21 July 2015 7:48

It was the OP's moms car. Not their car. Their moms car didn't have tinted windows.

briedabro 31

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Monday 28 November 2016 19:11

She was trying to flip him off without him seeing but she was driving her mom's car so he did end up seeing.

Mynamewontfi 40

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Monday 20 April 2015 10:25

Sounds pretty silly to me, to only dare flipping someone off if they can't see you.

MrConcise 34

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Monday 20 April 2015 11:35

Badassery at it's finest! Keyboard warriors don't even hold a candle to the person who flips people off through a tinted window.

MedChew 19

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Monday 20 April 2015 10:28

Anonymity brings out everyone's inner bitch. And then you realize everyone actually saw you clear as daylight. YDI for being this bitter though.

mergeterge 24

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Monday 20 April 2015 17:39

It took reading through comments until I got to this one to understand this FML... It really makes no sense at all. Not sure how it got through. (Or maybe I'm just slow lol)