Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at college, I walked in on some kid jerking off in front of the bathroom sink. This place never ceases to amaze and disgust me. FML
Today, at work, the security threw out an old man in his 80s who had been caught masturbating while hiding in the ladies' changing room. I thought it was funny until my manager told me to clean up that very same changing room with the old man spunk all over the wall and floor. FML
Today, in a hardware store, I had to physically restrain my senile grandpa from trying to take a crap in one of the display toilets. FML
Today, I caught my coworker masturbating in the bathroom. This was during her shift, while I was mopping the bathroom floors. FML
Today, while on the job as a cop, I was breaking up a loud house party. We were just doing one final check of the house, we walked into the bathroom to find a kid furiously wanking in the bath. This isn't the first time I've seen something like this. FML
Today, I walked in on the 13 year-old boy I babysit masturbating while sniffing my jacket. FML
Today, I experienced one of those moments in life you never forget. I walked into a homeless man masturbating in a parking garage stairwell. FML
Today, the mentally-challenged teen who sometimes comes into my restaurant gave me a hug as usual. I thought it was sweet, until a coworker let me know he immediately goes and jacks off in the bathroom after. FML
Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML
Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ILoveEggnog 7
I always do it in the model kitchens.
techweed 12
They may be a lot of no smoking signs, but there ain't no no masturbating signs. Happy Fingers!!!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (179)
onorexveritas 24
LMFAO @56 DUDE THAT MADE MY DAY
hewro_failure 11
Why is it so hard to wait until you get home?
neonberries 15
Well... sometimes you just have to, no matter where you are
Bjacobsaint 3
Wait, I thought Home Depot's slogan was 'you can do it, we can help'. Shame on you for not assisting....
addiegirlroxx 0
U should get a bonus
AmazingLadyy13 0
I bet he was gonna **** on the walls.
xXT9Xx 0
Home depot: when you come see our prices, you know we beat it better than the guy in our bathroom
mjhcc 6
I work at Home Depot, this is not a shocker to me. Since half of the contractors there are hornballs -.- Sorry for you. FYL!
Calyx_fml 22
OP "escorted" him back to her own home and played Mrs. Robinson.
mutentmeatball 0
sounds traumatic O.o