Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML
Today, I got mugged. I also got an extra kick in the face for not having money in my wallet. FML
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
Today, some guy tried to mug me. Shocked, I threw a punch that somehow knocked him on his ass. I'm now staring down the barrel of a lawsuit since he was apparently only 16 and "acting out" because of his shitty home life, as if I should have just handed him my wallet politely. FML
Today, at the bank, some poor bastard got brutally dumped in front of everyone, prompting some total spastic behind me to cough and mockingly say "Loser!" The guy thought I'd said it, and started shoving me around and threatening to tear me a new asshole. FML
Today, I saw an old man struggling with three bags, so I offered to carry them for him. He must not have heard me because when I bent down to take the bags, he thought I was stealing them and punched me in the face. FML
Today, I was mugged in a public bathroom. All I had on me was a plastic sheriff's badge, so I gave it to them. They laughed me out of the restroom. FML
Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML
Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 10
Your ego appears to be bigger than your muscles.
folgy 10
i know it would suck being mugged but just because your a body builder dont mean you can kick everyones ass
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Comments (143)
WaylonD 4
This FML made me Lmgdmfao!!!!
Calyx_fml 21
Muscle does not equal combat skill. Learn wing chun kung fu.
redneck2599 7
you must not be a very big body builder then you pussy
soonerfan285 0
dont be so cocky
Prankster7o7 5
Haha, just because you're a bodybuilder doesn't mean you can fight.
lpfan9125 0
thats cause you only worked on your glamour muscles......I'm telling you man you have a weak core
TheNewGuy03 28
strength and power are actually two different things. bodybuilders generally concentrate on slow movements to create maximum hypertrophy. powerlifters develop the fast-twitch muscles by doing explosive movements. that's why powerlifters can be successful bodybuilders, but not vice versa. however, i think that both strength and power are important... yeah, something like that. |the kid|
NarwhalLove 0
next time ur walking on a street put the money were they wouldnt look get underwear pockets lol then leave like a dollar and like an old gift card in your wallet so they take it and leave lol
keylinman 0
well doesn't that make u cool mr body builder? Ur all show and no performance
Shadowhand1997 0
Don't be so damn cocky u son of a b****