Birthday, Gifts and Miscellaneous: Brown and sticky

Brown and sticky

By Jon - 14/03/2009 06:30 - United States

Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 152

You deserved it 6 334

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Life is a roller coaster

By Username - 02/10/2019 14:00

Today, it's my birthday and my mom took me and some friends to an amusement park. Looking for a tampon, I found a phone in my mom's purse that I didn't recognize. Turns out my mom is cheating on my dad. Happy birthday to me, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 866

You deserved it 171

Almost done

By Anonymous - 09/04/2013 04:59 - Canada

Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick." One more year… FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 590

You deserved it 3 444

By chrono19 - 04/05/2014 10:11 - United States - Bremerton

Today, I got a birthday package from my parents. It was all the stuff I'd forgotten there when visiting a month ago, along with some other things I'd left behind when I moved out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 475

You deserved it 5 688

By stinkerweeder - 05/02/2011 20:30 - United States

Today, it was both my and my stepmother's birthday. In preparation, my dad bought a huge banner with my stepmother's name on it, and a lovely birthday cake. When I told him it was also my birthday, he just grunted and taped a post-it note to the banner with my name on it. Same with the cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 811

You deserved it 3 036

By NosChersVoisins - 01/07/2014 04:55 - France - Bordeaux

Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 177

You deserved it 5 935

Happy Birthday

By Anonymous - 07/10/2010 00:48 - United States

Today, my parents gave me my birthday present. Two weeks ago, I'd ordered an Xbox online. Three days ago, it came to my house, and my parents thought they could save money by putting wrapping paper on it, and giving it to me for my birthday. That's all they got me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 310

You deserved it 3 488

By Mazzam - 19/11/2008 11:33 - France

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 273

You deserved it 18 560

By reallyman__639 - 13/12/2011 12:26 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 556

You deserved it 17 501

By Birthday Surprise - 26/05/2014 21:18 - United States - Fayetteville

Today, my parents thought it would be a great surprise to accidentally shoot me in the leg for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 637

You deserved it 4 986

By Florida_1827 - 28/01/2011 10:54 - United States

Today, I received the 'special' present my mother had sent me for my 21st birthday. I opened the box and saw that my mother had picked out, accessorized and shipped to me, in college, a doll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 857

You deserved it 4 522

Inkspell 2

Saturday 14 March 2009 16:15

Wow, wtf, i rather get nothing. lmao, what the hell, seriously though, just grabbing a stick and giving it to someone is worse than saying "sorry, don't have a present.."

HelloFlower 0

Saturday 14 March 2009 16:23

You can do SO MANY things with a stick. The possibilities are endless.

Comments

greenman_fml 0

Saturday 14 March 2009 19:40

you should thank the good Lord for your luck. Your parents could have given you a punch in the face or a birthday burn.

m1ssp1nk 0

Saturday 14 March 2009 19:43

maybe it's a boomerang?

alwaysalady 0

Saturday 14 March 2009 19:44

When I turned 18 I waltzed up the stairs and shouted to my mom," I'm 18 now, I'm not coming home tonight!" as a joke. She said, "Oh shit!" and pulled an assemblage of crumpled bills from her wallet amounting to $47. Later, I got a store bought cupcake and a card with that famous picture of that bunny with it's face hidden in its paws that said, "I'm sorry I forgot your birthday. Love, Mom" It gives an excellent opening for teasing.

PTERONOPHOBIA 0

Saturday 14 March 2009 20:09

Dammit, #22 stole my joke haha. Basically I was just going to say "This FML is so much better if you read "******* stick" as one"

CAITx4OH1xCORE 0

Saturday 14 March 2009 20:42

@ #29. are you kidding me? thats so stereotypical. we want something other than a ******* STICK. and for the record, xbox 360s starts @ $200. and ipods are around that too. but yeah, that sucks for you. XD

Adnilinda 0

Saturday 14 March 2009 20:47

Why?! xD

AlyshaDeShae 10

Saturday 14 March 2009 20:51

Haha! That sucks, but it's funny. #29 - Who said he wanted something ridiculously expensive? I'm guessing that something not picked up off the ground would be nice. I'm absurdly simple. My birthday will be on Easter Sunday this year. Want to know what I want? I want my family to go on their vacation, have fun, and not include me. I would prefer the quiet house over a new iPod or a game system. If I really want any of that stuff, I'll just buy it myself just like I do with everything else that I want and/or need.