Miscellaneous: Today, my parents thought it would be a great surprise to accidentally... - FML

By Birthday Surprise - 26/05/2014 21:18 - United States - Fayetteville

Today, my parents thought it would be a great surprise to accidentally shoot me in the leg for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 637

You deserved it 4 986

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Notre_Dame_714 - 08/04/2015 21:17 - United States

Today, I went to the gun range for a birthday and got shot in the foot by my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 453

You deserved it 4 442

Gun control

By Anonymous - 17/07/2021 10:59

Today, I took my 15-year-old daughter to our local shooting range for her birthday, as she requested. While she was setting up a target in front of me, I jokingly pulled the trigger and shouted, "Think Fast!" not realizing that the safety was off. I shot my daughter in the arm on her birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 4 275

Lovely parents

By sigh - 18/11/2019 01:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, my parents forgot it was my birthday. They ordered me to scrub the common bathroom, and when I asked if they remembered, my dad's reaction was "Oh! Really?" My mom's was "I thought that it was next week." What lovely parents I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 322

You deserved it 187

Hey, well, happy birthday anyway

By elmoisdead2131 - 09/02/2021 14:01

Today, my parents took me out to dinner. I thought they were taking me because it's my birthday. Turns out they are getting divorced. They forgot it was my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 297

You deserved it 90

Brown and sticky

By Jon - 14/03/2009 06:30 - United States

Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 152

You deserved it 6 334

Thanks Susan

By ZombieGirl0417 - 30/09/2015 21:13 - United States - Jupiter

Today, my aunt asked to see my new airsoft pistol. Not thinking anything of it, I handed it to her. She shot me in the leg. I was standing next to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 211

You deserved it 4 489

By Anonymous - 01/01/2010 10:29 - United States

Today, I thought my family would like it if I celebrated the new year with them. My brother thought that I'd like him to shoot my butt with his new gun in celebration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 096

You deserved it 2 714

By walllflower - 08/02/2015 19:46 - Canada - Saint Catharines

Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 013

You deserved it 4 379

By Anonymous - 16/10/2010 02:00 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My dad was supposed to take me to get a tattoo, but instead he went to the bar, got drunk, and told me how I was the biggest mistake he and my mom have ever made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 766

You deserved it 3 981

Sweet Sixteen

By Anonymous - 17/09/2021 13:59 - Netherlands

Today, it's my 16th birthday. My parents forgot about it, and planned a weekend out of town. I was alone on my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 94

Next

Top comments

SharnaaaBanana 22

Tuesday 27 May 2014 9:37

With an actual bullet? Or something like a BB gun?

fsomelife 26

Tuesday 27 May 2014 11:01

Bazooka. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Comments

Cass_x 22

Tuesday 27 May 2014 9:36

Great parents you have D: Also, happy birthday!

GreatGeak 8

Tuesday 27 May 2014 21:28

woah, op can't just leave us hanging like that...why'd they shoot him?

Pat_Tricksta 13

Wednesday 28 May 2014 0:09

For the surprise!

Wolf87535 4

Wednesday 28 May 2014 2:12

This needs too much follow up. Shot with what? Were they drunk? Wtf?

Testing1234 25

Friday 30 May 2014 5:22

Are you a redneck

zBLAKEz 23

Tuesday 27 May 2014 9:37

Well at least you did get a birthday surprise.

9echo 17

Tuesday 27 May 2014 15:38

I can't imagine what LEAD up to all this...

9echo 17

Wednesday 28 May 2014 16:33

Backfire isn't a firearms-related term but I'll give you an upvote for trying anyway. Lol.

SharnaaaBanana 22

Tuesday 27 May 2014 9:37

With an actual bullet? Or something like a BB gun?

fsomelife 26

Tuesday 27 May 2014 11:01

Bazooka. Nothing out of the ordinary.

junkman6 22

Tuesday 27 May 2014 13:16

Chuck Norris once took a bazooka to the knee... Ok I'll stop.

cakefete2 30

Tuesday 27 May 2014 14:53

Yea 41, I heard about that incident. The missile hit his knee, dropped to the floor, and started screaming in pain. Meanwhile, Chuck Norris walks away like nothing happened.

pugpuggy 21

Tuesday 27 May 2014 18:16

#51 Wait, then who got shot in the knee?

SgtAssCheeks 21

Tuesday 27 May 2014 18:33

I used to be an adventurer like you...

brmsnipes 8

Wednesday 28 May 2014 1:41

Shit yes! I love Skyrim!

andiesaur 18

Tuesday 27 May 2014 9:38

I guess you'll have another story to tell your children! Look on the bright side, no matter how small it is.

Pat_Tricksta 13

Wednesday 28 May 2014 0:15

Talking about penis?

GeneralySpeaking 11

Wednesday 28 May 2014 1:27

That's what she said.

LifeMD 14

Tuesday 27 May 2014 9:39

At least you'll have a great story to tell for years.

PinkkyPek 6

Tuesday 27 May 2014 9:41

guess you could say it ended with a bang

AnOriginalName 19

Tuesday 27 May 2014 10:30

And not the kind of bang that one would expect for a birthday.

lexiieeex3 32

Friday 6 June 2014 8:39

This needs a followup asap

thelittlemissy 29

Tuesday 27 May 2014 9:42

Smashing!

Never_Land 10

Thursday 29 May 2014 4:31

You tried #7

ElricMustang 23

Tuesday 27 May 2014 9:43

What I'm wondering is how this happened to begin with. What birthday surprise involves something that you can accidentally shoot someone with?

Headcrab 29

Tuesday 27 May 2014 14:40

I'm going out on a limb here but if I really had to guess... I'd say a gun.

grunt_fml 17

Tuesday 27 May 2014 14:43

I'd say shooting a salute gone terribly wrong. That or it was a slightly drastic hint that Op REALLY needs to move out. Now.

icnburbbygrl 23

Tuesday 27 May 2014 9:43

Uhh...follow up?? Please?

1dvs_bstd 41

Tuesday 27 May 2014 11:18

day 2, still in the hospital.

cakefete2 30

Tuesday 27 May 2014 14:59

Well kids, I got this scar 15 years ago, when grandma and grandpa "accidentally" shot me in my leg for my birthday. While recovering in the hospital, there was this beautiful nurse taking care of me, and that's how I met your mother.

DaMann360 19

Tuesday 27 May 2014 18:27

^^ this guy ^^

llamaslikesoda 21

Friday 30 May 2014 7:05

#52 I officially love you

cumberbunny 17

Tuesday 27 May 2014 9:46

Let's hope it was a paintball gun! FYL and happy birthday :)

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10

Keywords

Love Awkward Relatable Students Work Racism Health Cheating Pregnancy Relationship advice Friends Teenagers Embarrassing Sex Intimacy Revenge Food Animals Cats Boredom Management Parenting Kids Sexism Parents Miscellaneous Weird Job interview Facebook Jealousy

The Top

Today, I discovered that whenever my house is affected by a blackout, the cooler for my Xbox will turn on by itself when it's fixed. My Xbox cooler flashes repeatedly, alternating between several bright colors, when it turns on. If I'm asleep when it happens, which is often the case, it wakes me up. Every. Time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 376

Today, I went looking for a childhood doll - I remembered that my mum kept her in her bedside cabinet. I could see the doll at the back, but there was stuff in the way, so I reached in and took some of it out, only to find I was holding one of my mum's toys… a big black rubber cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 225

You deserved it 6 962

The Top

Today, I was using pre-waxed strips to wax my eyebrows when my parrot investigated by walking through them. He then screamed, flew into my hair, thrashed around, and got stuck. I now have two bald spots and two parrot bites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 689

You deserved it 649

Today, my mother decided to "help me" by throwing out the stack of papers on my desk. Unfortunately, those were all my notes for my final exams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 814

You deserved it 602

Today, I was using my new curling iron to curl my hair. I was sitting down. Suddenly I dropped the iron and, as a reflex, I caught it between my bare thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 832

You deserved it 6 160

Today, my sister told me she found my escaped tarantula and put it in a box on my bed. I never had a tarantula, and the box was empty when I checked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 560

You deserved it 2 588

Today, my wife ruined the gift I got for our 10 year anniversary by opening a package that was clearly addressed to me, finding the custom made necklace, and started wearing it straight away. I didn’t even know it had been delivered yet and boom, right there on her neck two weeks early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 667

You deserved it 104

Today, I got called into work and I was really excited to earn some extra money. One block from getting there I get pulled over. Apparently my tags were expired, and there goes half a weeks pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 516

You deserved it 27 293