Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me, "Oh, I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a fucking stick for my birthday. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my birthday and my mom took me and some friends to an amusement park. Looking for a tampon, I found a phone in my mom's purse that I didn't recognize. Turns out my mom is cheating on my dad. Happy birthday to me, I guess. FML
Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick." One more year… FML
Today, I got a birthday package from my parents. It was all the stuff I'd forgotten there when visiting a month ago, along with some other things I'd left behind when I moved out. FML
Today, it was both my and my stepmother's birthday. In preparation, my dad bought a huge banner with my stepmother's name on it, and a lovely birthday cake. When I told him it was also my birthday, he just grunted and taped a post-it note to the banner with my name on it. Same with the cake. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML
Today, my parents gave me my birthday present. Two weeks ago, I'd ordered an Xbox online. Three days ago, it came to my house, and my parents thought they could save money by putting wrapping paper on it, and giving it to me for my birthday. That's all they got me. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML
Today, my parents thought it would be a great surprise to accidentally shoot me in the leg for my birthday. FML
Today, I received the 'special' present my mother had sent me for my 21st birthday. I opened the box and saw that my mother had picked out, accessorized and shipped to me, in college, a doll. FML
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Top comments
Inkspell 2
Wow, wtf, i rather get nothing. lmao, what the hell, seriously though, just grabbing a stick and giving it to someone is worse than saying "sorry, don't have a present.."
HelloFlower 0
You can do SO MANY things with a stick. The possibilities are endless.
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Comments (141)
Warkweh 0
Throw it down the street and tell them "Don't come back until you get me a better present."
DisturbedDriver 0
I'd rather...have just gotten no present and just a "Happy Birthday, son!"
supadanya 0
# 53 if your parents did that you'd probably say "WTF?! YOU COULD HAVE AT LEAST GOTTEN ME A STICK!"
drinkupgorgeous 0
HAHAHAHAHAHA A STICK.
inkstains 0
#51: I LOL'ed.
lolzjanelle 0
hahahaha this is hilarious. @ #37: my birthday is April 12th too :)
lylamh 5
My mom, aunt and uncle were born on april 12 :)
SilverBallet 0
Wow. Never mind the whole fact you wouldn't even *have* a birthday without your parents. Go move to a third-world country. See how bad your so-called FML really is.
pandalover69 26
i don't think people from a 3rd world country would want a stick for their birthday either, because sticks are something they can got get off the ground too.
AB_fml 0
LMAO! Who cares though, its your parents! Btw, since you came home a day after your birthday, I'm assuming you had fun on your birthday. Happy birthday!
sucks2byou522 0
i agree with #58. its the thought that counts. butt pirate.
yentzer 0
maby the stick is from the tree were ur parents had sex and then 9 months later u were born? there just trying to give u the same happeyness they felt that night. im not saying it was a good thig but try and look at the bright side.