Today, I'm severely sunburned and can barely walk properly. My boyfriend keeps telling his friends that it's because of, "how hard he gave it to me last night." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
Today, it was boiling hot so my boyfriend and I decided to sunbathe in the garden and ended up falling asleep for a few hours. Not only is my back so burnt that I can't lie down, I also have a white hand print on my upper back where my boyfriend had left his arm while we slept. FML
Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML
Today, I was tanning by the pool. My friend put his arms under my back and knees and picked me up. He threw me across the kiddy pool to my boyfriend, shouting "Catch!" My boyfriend didn't catch me. Instead of a tan, I have a huge bruise. FML
Today, I went on a camping trip with my friends, but forgot to bring sunscreen. I spent the entire day outside and ended up with a severe sunburn all over my body. The pain is unbearable and I can't even move without yelping as if I was slowly being cooked in an air fryer. FML
Today, I was called a wimp for getting a sunburn. FML
Today, I wanted my boyfriend to come over for a backyard wiener roast. Because it was so hot outside, he told me he didn't want to. Eventually, I talked him into it telling him it would be fine. He's now still asleep on the couch with heat stroke. FML
Today, after a heavy make-out session, my boyfriend and I discovered his lips bruise really easily. This wouldn't be a problem except he's been telling people I hit him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML
Today, I went to the beach with my friends to show off my engagement ring. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up extremely sunburnt to a text from my boyfriend confessing that he's been cheating on me. I gave him the ring back. Now I have its tan line on my finger. FML
Today, I got a second degree sunburn everywhere above my waist, for which I've been using a medicated lotion. My roommate "pranked" me by switching the lotion with a similarly colored, very caustic acne wash. My chest feels like it's roasting in hell and is oozing pus and oil now. FML
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Top comments
Wizardo 34
He's just trying to make light of the situation, no need to be so burned up about it OP. P.S. Get some aloe and put it in a ice cube tray and stick it in the freezer. Once done take out and rub over body - instant relief.
juststephhere 23
So hard you became completely red! Haha sounds fun!
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Comments (87)
frankenfinger 12
I say dump him
sanecatlady 13
Dump him. He only sees you as a piece of property he can brag about to his friends.
saraitkddh 47
I think this comes from an insecurity about himself...
buckdharma 38
Issue an advisory that a disturbance is moving into his region and that a back door cold front is going to **** up his extended forecast.
dawood_k 27
Apply some man juice as much as possible. Sometimes taken orally or as a suppository! It should help and give instant relief though not necessarily to you.
Folly_fml 12
Sunny days are days indeed. It seems your man has planted seed.
NikkiBooVanity 5
Like I haven't seen this posted from 5 other people
nichollelovins 18
hey lol just let the man dream
underthesea12 24
let him have his fun lol
mindception 9
Come to Minnesota were it's too cold to step outside and get a sunburn