Today, I'm severely sunburned and can barely walk properly. My boyfriend keeps telling his friends that it's because of, "how hard he gave it to me last night." FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
Today, it was boiling hot so my boyfriend and I decided to sunbathe in the garden and ended up falling asleep for a few hours. Not only is my back so burnt that I can't lie down, I also have a white hand print on my upper back where my boyfriend had left his arm while we slept. FML
Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML
Today, I was tanning by the pool. My friend put his arms under my back and knees and picked me up. He threw me across the kiddy pool to my boyfriend, shouting "Catch!" My boyfriend didn't catch me. Instead of a tan, I have a huge bruise. FML
Today, I went on a camping trip with my friends, but forgot to bring sunscreen. I spent the entire day outside and ended up with a severe sunburn all over my body. The pain is unbearable and I can't even move without yelping as if I was slowly being cooked in an air fryer. FML
Today, I was called a wimp for getting a sunburn. FML
Today, I wanted my boyfriend to come over for a backyard wiener roast. Because it was so hot outside, he told me he didn't want to. Eventually, I talked him into it telling him it would be fine. He's now still asleep on the couch with heat stroke. FML
Today, after a heavy make-out session, my boyfriend and I discovered his lips bruise really easily. This wouldn't be a problem except he's been telling people I hit him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML
Today, I went to the beach with my friends to show off my engagement ring. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up extremely sunburnt to a text from my boyfriend confessing that he's been cheating on me. I gave him the ring back. Now I have its tan line on my finger. FML
Today, I got a second degree sunburn everywhere above my waist, for which I've been using a medicated lotion. My roommate "pranked" me by switching the lotion with a similarly colored, very caustic acne wash. My chest feels like it's roasting in hell and is oozing pus and oil now. FML
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Top comments
Wizardo 34
He's just trying to make light of the situation, no need to be so burned up about it OP. P.S. Get some aloe and put it in a ice cube tray and stick it in the freezer. Once done take out and rub over body - instant relief.
juststephhere 23
So hard you became completely red! Haha sounds fun!
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Comments (87)
JMichael 26
Apply ice to said burn.
Robbieisadowg 16
That ice said what?!?!
UrYousername 15
I see what you did there.
Sandman366 6
The ice said burn. It then wrote a song, of ice, and fire.
timss4 19
I totally "sunburn" my girl all the time too lol she doesn't even need to "go tanning" with me around
countrygirl109 11
You should be like, "No, he's too small for that." ;p
CallMeMcFeelii 14
The only way it would be mean is if it were true. She'd only be joking, right? So how is it mean since he's saying something just as stupid?
MakeTodayADTR 20
When I see your name all I can think of is Prince Charming telling the Seven Dwarfs how hard he gave it to you ;P
Dracoboxer357 36
Funny, I always pictured it the other way around. After all, she wasn't living with him, off and secluded in the woods. ;P
ThattDude 8
That's what I say when my girlfriend gets burned haha. Its just making a painful situation funny. Everyone can tell its not true when they see how red you are
pokeblazer 2
Unless they are stupid....
perdix 31
Tell him you can't have sex with him anymore because you don't want skin cancer.
christiangrey 4
what does a fox say?
christiangrey 4
or how about no! >:)
jdeezy01 13
Seriously dude. You lost this battle. Give it up
christiangrey 4
or how about no
erin37 27
Straya
masterof1 7
ouch just ouch. TO THE ALOE BOTTLE
flashback_fml 14
You're boyfriend is the sun, amazing!