By AFGirlfriend - 28/03/2011 19:10 - United States

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My boyfriend and I have been dying to have kids together. This would be an exciting moment if he wasn't deploying in June and will miss everything except the morning sickness. FML
I agree, your life sucks 47 068
You deserved it 6 948

Same thing different taste

Top comments

cheeksMcgeeks 3

No, THIS is what is wrong for America. Everyone believing you need to follow every tradition set in place exactly as everyone thinks it should be. Get married then have kids, never the reverse. Marriage is just as susceptible to problems as is being boyfriend and girlfriend. Maybe they're completely happy being just "bf/gf." Is it really going to kill you if a couple doesn't get married? Please retrieve the wedding rings from your asses because even if you DO get married I don't believe that is where they belong.

Better get married before he deploys or you and your baby have no protection if God forbid something happens to him. You're better off to be a surviving spouse, as girlfriend with illegitimate baby means Nothing to the military. Sorry, not trying to be mean, just SMART. I was an Army brat and saw alot of situations.


Rashadd 6

wow..that REALLY SUX..wish y'all luck tho

ilovepoppa 0

I don't get why they were trying to get pregnant then if he's leaving.. but congrats OP!(;

He's serving his country.. hire a maid.

I'm going to have to break it to you.. You is spelled with out an a. You + All = You all.

32, because he may not come back for one. Secondly being in love and wanting a child together and him deploying aren't mutual events. Three, how do you know how long they have been trying? It could have been a year or more, but only now has it worked. Finally, he could have got notified of his deployment after they started trying to procreate, or after she found out she was with child. There are 4 good reasons for you.

ElementTruth, I'm going to have to break it to you: "without" is spelled without a space in the middle. Don't act like an uppity schmuck.

AceArctic 4

DocBastard I hate to break it to you but... I love you and everything you do for the FML community. You're my idol.

duckie227 22

'I'm with stupid' haha totally fits. thanks for that. ydi op. should not have been trying to have kids with an army dude

SpilltMilk2 0

You're a jackass #146. Did you not read the previous comments? What are you supposed to do if your spouse/partner is in the military? Yank out your ovaries and cut off your balls? I'm proud of the OP for having a baby with someone actually doing something to benefit our country. What have you done?

poxgff 1

#159, you're an idiot and the real jackass. first of all, the above comments were dumb and neglected the basic point that the op knew the possible consequences so they don't really get to complain. and second of all, soldiers actually do very little for the country nowadays, and at the most, no more so than anyone else who performs a job in the US

#146 Fuckstick do u think her username says AFgirlfriend because it's army? AF- Air Force

Oh, yeah, cause bombing the shit out of Libya is actually doing something for this country. *eye roll*

Well seeing as crazy Gaddafi was about to have a sale on bombing civilian airliners, it is actually doing something for all nations. There is also the risk that the rebels would turn against America for not intervening, they would then launch a campaign to pay back America. Feel free to think of threats to your country that aren't threats of direct invasion. Out of interest though, do you not think what is being done is a good thing? Do these people not deserve freedom, democracy and being rid of a murderous madman? Or is that something you can only justify for Americans?

first of all, it's not freedom or democracy, those are common misconceptions. and second of all, who says he's crazy?

No I don't think we have any right to be over there interfering. This is going to turn into another Iraq. You notice how we didn't do shit for Egypt, because Mubarak was an ally, even though he was morally bankrupt. We don't like Gaddafi so it's perfectly okay to take him out.

el_chicharito_14 0

we didn't help Egypt because the government wasn't killing their people like crazy like ghadafi and second of all, the Egyptian people were more successful in getting rid of their dictator so they didn't need international intervention.

tophatprincess 0

At least your baby will have a father who's looking out for it's future.

He might die.....which I really hope won't happen

heathersmorin 0

Dude!! Are you a ******* idiot?! Why would you say such a thing?? A) He's getting deployed and probably doesn't know how long he'll be gone for and B) She pregnant and already going to be alone. She doesn't need assholes like you putting thoughts of her boyfriend dying!

heathersmorin 0

ok now the comment is gone now!! Thank goodness! Can someone delete my other comment, please?


umm u do know what the guy meant by "future" right, don't go off on people until u know what's being said....

75, read her comment after. It clearly states it was in response to a deleted comment saying he will die. Before counseling others on not going off on a rant about a misunderstood comment, read the comment yourself.

sipher16 0

your kidding me right? Are you stupid or just ungrateful?

neither, just confused as to how leaving the child without a father to fight in an unnecessary war is looking out for its future. it's confusing isn't it?

sipher16 0

It docent matter if you or I declare if a war is "necessary" or not. congress asks for the artillery and we just work it for them. and saying that it is an unnecessary war to me is like saying that my brothers and sisters have died for no reason.

so would you're saying is your opinion doesn't matter? in that case why are you commenting on here? and if that's what you think I'm saying, then maybe your subconscious is trying to tell you something about what's really going on

sipher16 0

go **** yourself you little shit. I've served my country with pride. it is not my place to question why I am there. but why the **** do I put my life on the line every day so snotty brats like you can tell me that subconsciously I don't believe in my mission? no it's so my family does not have to do it.

wow, real mature. but I guess I wouldn't expect much better from someone who openly admits that they don't question why they're killing other people. and for all you know, and as I suspect, I'm your elder, and I'm more educated, in logic, culture, current events, and psychology, so I have every right to question your so called pride that the educated world looks at as sheepish stupidity

sipher16 0

first off it is my duty as a solder to follow the orders handed down to me from my superiors I kill and was trained to kill when necessary. if you were older than me the you would show respect where respect is do. you believe in a myth called peace witch as long as man roams the earth will never happen and if you want peace prepare for war. so I think you can shuve your half baked philosophy up your 13 year old ass.

el_chicharito_14 0

I have to tell you that I respect you with every fiber of my being and everyone else who ever defended this country. my uncle served in afganistan seeing guys like you and him make me proud.

sipher16 0

Thank you for your support it means a lot. =)

#218 ur an asswhole people who are at the war are trying to protect their people so shut the hell up

sipher, you are one of the dumbest people on this site. I looked at your profile and I am indeed older than you. I am also clearly smarter. for example, I understand that even a soldier can question his orders and that an intelligent person doesn't get a job where they don't get to make decisions. in fact, that's how the armed forces work. the smart people stay behind and manipulate the dumb sheeple, otherwise know as you. but I do have respect for those who deserve it, many people work jobs everyday that truly benefit the US, but receive little credit for their work. unfortunately, there are very few soldiers who have proven the deserve my respect, and as a generalized group there is no proof that they deserve any of it. and as to your peace thing, do you really think that you are creating peace? the reason that we can not have peace is because people go to war, that's just basic logic, especially since peace is definitionally the lack of conflict. maybe you should try finishing high school at some point

Higgs, I like how you keep insisting you're such a smart and wise man, yet your spelling and grammar mistakes say otherwise. I don't believe the war in Afghanistan is right, (in fact I think it's downright stupid lol) but I respect the men and women who join the army to protect their country so people can yell and criticize them :D

226-Thank you for your service. What you do is extremely courageous and honorable, to leave safety and go into harms way in the name of your country. Having said that I hope you understand that someone questioning the reasons why you were sent to war doesn't reflect on you, just the reasoning and decision-making process that went into going to war. So I hope you understand this, that from most people I know that question the war, they don't question soldiers but the leaders that put them there. It would be a sad day in this country if we ever stopped questioning our leaders about the decisions they make, especially ones that put our men and women in harms way, as well as potentially innocent people in foreign lands. Once again thank you. =]]

sipher16 0

that's funny how I'm an LT and officers still receive orders so there gos your idea right out of the water and according to your FML it says you were born in 02 so how are you older than me? I might not be the smartest person but I'm sure as he'll am not the dumbest. oh and to answer the anger question yes there is but after playing in the sandbox for a few months you get sick of people trying to kill you and friends geting shipped back home on medavacs or body bags so forgive me If I sound a little angry.

Somedood117 0

ya. but what about the people that we (US) are shooting/killing at? I'm sure they have a loving family and children too. America isn't the only one on this country. it's best we don't have war at all. all this because of a couple of terrorists flying into the twin towers. don't get me wrong, I am respectful of it, may the lost, R.I.P., but you can't assume everyone in the middle east is like and have to go to war for that. the real enemy are the power/money hungry corporate buttfaces that make this country and getting resources harder and harder to get. Now is that hard to realize?

Somedood117 0

and no, peace probably won't exist, at least in the type of society we live in today.

sipher16 0

this can go on for ever so i will just stop it now. everyone is entitled to their own opinions that's what America is all about. it's my personal opinion that we get involved in other countries affairs too often. George washington said two things when he ended his presidency it was ( no more than two terms should one person hold the office of the president and to stay out of other countries affairs) unfortunately it took us along time to listen to the firs part and we haven't learned our lesson for the second one yet.

Hey Higgs, my name is reason, allow me to introduce myself. I like how you're bashing sipher because he isn't making peace by fighting for something he believes in (which correct me if I'm wrong sipher is honor and duty) and yet you're creating a conflict between yourself and him. You're proving his, what I believe to be valid, point that it is impossible to have peace. Look around us. Tell me, are other animals at peace? I'm glad you don't have the decency to respect people like my grandfather who decided to quit college in order to protect the greater good of our country, which you claim to be yourself, by enlisting during WWII and serving in two more wars following that. In my opinion, I'd rather rid the world of "intelligent" people like you and only have those willing to do what sipher does on a daily basis remain. I live my life and attend college to better myself as a way to honor people like my grandfather, because he fought to provide me this opportunity. I have the utmost respect for every soldier and I know that no matter what I do with my life, it will never be equivalent to what those men and women do for me. Last point, I sure am glad we have war or else slavery would still exist and Hitler would've roamed the Earth for God knows how much longer. We should've just made peace with him and the Confederacy.

1234USMC 0

229 you should have washed the dishes!

Your Grandad served in WWII, which was a necessary war. It was absolutely going to happen, and we needed to go ahead with it. But it seems that nowadays the war we attempt to create is totally unjustified and unnecessary.

Dear Sipher, peace through superior firepower. 'nuff said.

lifeisbutadream3 0

well said was meant for Sipher-16.

dani_zombie 0

you're doing a great job I admire you don't waste your energy arguing in here...god bless you and keep you safe.I don't know you but the way but you make me proud of you and all soldiers out there.

Randuhh_17 4

Sipher, I just want to say, I'm am very grateful to you, and you are such an honorable person. I support the troops 110%. My brother is in the military, and with that, every single one of y'all are like family. Y'all deserve every bit of respect. So keep in mind, we aren't all stupid idiots back here at home, there are more of us who are grateful for your service than there are the idiots! Be safe, and we all are waiting for y'all to come back home!

I'm going to have to side with higgs on this one... I didn't realize that this many people were still consumed by post-9/11 paranoia...

thank you no_loveMM, someone who understands. @ sipher, not only did I not put my real birthday up on fml, but the one listed is in 1966, so can you not read or is your connection to the matrix timing out? @ drakem, it is not that I don't know the grammar, it's that I'm admittedly too lazy to use it among a group of people who either don't care, don't know it, or do care and don't know it (the grammar Nazis). FYI though, I teach college classes in writing and the physical sciences so I'm pretty sure I know what I'm doing. @ maddog618, your name is not reason, it is bias. sipher even went so far as to state that he doesn't question his orders, so if he is fighting for honor and duty, he doesn't understand what those words mean and neither do you. and as to your conflict and war comments, I did not say I was arguing for peace, I simply pointed out how dumb that idea that war brings peace is. I have respect to soldiers who fought in WWII and many wars before that, but this is a pointless war that does not concern us or force people into the armed services so if you join knowing the consequences, you must accept those consequences in the same way that any doctor knows they can get sick from their patients, a scientist knows he can get burned by his experiments, etc

in order to have anything in the world accomplished, there has to be conflict. true peace according to definition is impossible...

275-Please enlighten us on what we are accomplishing in the middle east right now.

skyeyez9 24

**** you. If you loathe the wars so much, do something about it, instead of harassing a US soldier. CONGRESS sends young soldiers off to war, not the other way around. Who are you to ridicule "his so called pride" as you put it? He is doing his job.

skyeyez9 24

I am former military and my husband is currently deployed. I dont agree with having these wars, but I still respect soldiers and their sacrafice. Liberal assholes think their opinions matter, and love to spout their anti military vitriol anyplace they can. Until those armchair quarterbacks have been to those 3rd world shitholes and endured the bs with being sent to war, they'll never understand. You can't just say "no thanks, I am not deploying with my unit."

skyeyez9 24

If you are just so damn smart, what's your solution to make things better? I have one: Kill yourself. Now.

"Liberal assholes..." - That's where I stopped reading. ******* conservatives stereotype the party like we're all ungrateful jerks. Well, **** you. I'm Liberal and still support our troops.

clarissa_Gyall 0

y'all realize your fighting on a website riteee? SMH

OfficialxAmber 0

283, nice observation there. I'm sure they had no idea. *Rolls eyes*

Higgs I totally agree with you about war but peace is impossible. Humans are designed to destroy each other. To quote Ollie from The Mist "As a species we're fundamentally insane. Put more than two of us in a room, we pick sides and start dreaming up reasons to kill one another. Why do you think we invented politics and religion?" It is impossible to have peace, but some wars are pointless Iraq the second time, Afghanistan, and soon Libya.

People should realize how POINTLESS the war in Iraq is.. and also the occupation of Palestine which is funded by the US if you didn't know referring to any dumb asses here, tell me what about the kids stuck in the war? what do they do? Im only 15 years old and I lived in Palestine for 11 years and went through more 'war' then all you soldiers saying your putting your life on the line, I was forced to as a kid to be in war because other countries like to involve themselves with a country that isn't theirs.. I respect you soldiers but look at it from my point of view.

I think I'm just going to ignore everything skyeyez9 said... Sounds just like my 5 year old brother when he doesn't get his chocolate bar... but to the guy that said peace is impossible that is not true... We just don't know how to obtain it... If a plane flys into a building we automatically assume it came from a developing country and proceed to invade it declaring we are defending our country...That is flat out ignorant bullshit...

skyeyez9 24

So you think as a mass protest, soldiers should just quit their jobs, disband? Hmmm, cause joining up means they may go to war? And you consider yourself intelligent. You do realize CONGRESS sends soldiers to war, not the other way around. You dont like the wars, protest against the greedy, self serving politicians who send our soldiers off to fight and die. Don't disrespect soldiers who serve their countries proudly.

I love how everyone just assumes that I am liberal anti-war. what's funny about it is that I am neither, I believe that certain wars are necessary, and I support many conservative ideas. but for some reason the idiots like skyeyez9 and sipher can't seem to figure out that I have given very few opinions, and attempt to attack me personally, proofing they have the same logic skills as a 7 year old. that being said, at least some people are capable of thought: @ theSmileMan, peace is not impossible. I agree that humans are generally wired to harm each other, but there are also people who have overcome that, for example, many buddhist monks. but yes, the point I made at the beginning, that these idiots like to take offense to, is that the wars we are currently engaged in are unnecessary and directing us away from peace. a country that truly wants peace does not engage in other's affairs except when absolutely necessary. instead we should be focused on improving our own country. @ jeeesuuus, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I realize that's going on and that's why I hate sheep like sipher and skyeyez who refuse to think about what's actually going on. thank you for sharing your experience

skyeyez, are you really that dumb? if there were no soldiers, who would congress control? and how can someone take pride in pointlessly killing innocent people? i owe soldiers who do not think about their actions no respect

Skyeyez WHY do you keep saying the same thing over and over again...CONGRESS DOES send soldiers to war...and because of that the soldiers and people like you foolishly believe that invading a country, destroying it's government, rebuilding it to look like the good guy, kill the innocent inhabitants is SOMEHOW defending your country from a threat that is coming DIRECTLY from said country. Please...HOW are you so stupid?

Ckkc1 0

"sipher16" you are 20 years old and over there just because you are an idiot kid who is eager to hold a gun and to be in the army,cause in your empty brain you think that it will be like a movie or like "call of duty". Oh and you think that it is something kickass to be in the army and you think that it makes you grow up. Well it doesn't. No freakinbody will grow up because they kill, and nobody in this world right to have a call on any others life, especially if you are a citizen of one of the strongest country in this world... a country can easily defend himself in an open war( I am no even from the state by the way). serving my country my ass stFuckUp you kid! if you had been asked you wouldn't even know any shit about your country. and about this FML I feel really sorry for op cause her boyfriend is an idiot like you who would decide something like this in an early age like yours even though he would have a kid, by thinking he is protecting his feature but not thinking how the kid would feel when he/she will grow up and learn why he/she grew up without a father, and without thinking how hard is it gonna be for his girlfriend.

okay, so what we've established here today is that congress sends people to fight, some wars are pointless, and we should not boo soldiers at the airport. But personally, my opinion is that congress sends people to fight, yes, and if people stop enlisting, the draft will be reinstated, which no one wants, some wars are pointless, yes, but even still we should support our soldiers, maybe their orders of who to attack aren't made by people who know what they are doing, but there are people who are actual threats that they are fighting, and lastly there are horrible things happening in this war, and wrongful deaths, I'm sure, are occurring everyday, and there are people who only joined because they thought it would help them become a man, but let's face it, that Is in no way an accurate description of all of the soldiers. Please realize that this war may not be completely necessary but there are good people fighting this war. But we are all forgetting in key fact: Didn't Obama say he would take troops out by now? (please correct me if I'm wrong about Obama)

JFle123 0

**** yourself 218, the men and women of our military fight for YOU and for all americams, the fact that you are being ungrateful for this sickens me.

you're an idiot! just thought you should know that.

307 The fact that you believe America's military presence in Iraq and Afghanistan is DEFENDING our simply pushing yourself towards retarded...

Obama promised to take all troops out of Iraq by the end of 2011 but obviously that won't be happening he also promised Israel enough money over the next decade to help them get more control of Palestine and the Middle east in general. People open your eyes and see that these soldiers that enlist do more damage to others than themselves, I still respect them but they obviously scar people mentally and possibly physically because that's pretty much a soldiers job nowadays in Iraq and Palestine sometimes they even get shoot anyone in sight orders, not a pretty thing to witness.

how does Obama except to give Israel enough money to get back on their feet when we are in a recession already....

kapyster 0

seriously, I would love for you to go out there risk your life so your family can be safe. if someone is shooting at you, you will be shooting at that person so you don't die and come home safe. I feel bad for soldiers that they risk their life's for people like you. and soldiers are educated!

perdix 29

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spider63 0

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is perdix trolling? I have no idea>_<

SLP9008 0

Agreed. This is what is wrong for America. You want to have kids together but not married? Idiots.

24- maybe they COULDN'T get married, ever thought about that? or maybe since he'll be gone, they decided to wait 'til he gets back! you don't have to stereotype and discriminate against America for your criticism, okay?

cheeksMcgeeks 3

No, THIS is what is wrong for America. Everyone believing you need to follow every tradition set in place exactly as everyone thinks it should be. Get married then have kids, never the reverse. Marriage is just as susceptible to problems as is being boyfriend and girlfriend. Maybe they're completely happy being just "bf/gf." Is it really going to kill you if a couple doesn't get married? Please retrieve the wedding rings from your asses because even if you DO get married I don't believe that is where they belong.

this is super rude, but for financial stability you should be married both of my sister have husbands in the army and if god forbids anything happens it's best to be covered by the military

finally you wrote something worthwhile......

I wouldn't have said it, but I was thinking it. I don't understand people that just live together and have kids together, but don't get married.... that's just me though. It's their lives though, so it's their choice... I'm just saying that I don't understand it. I personally can't wait to marry the one I love.

If you are having a child with a serviceman/woman you should get married, the services do not pay girlfriends or significant others in the event of a death. It is just selfish to put your child's future at risk because you don't like tradition. Actually, if you have a child at all you should marry, otherwise you look like you've got your parachute ready to bail out if things get ugly. Children deserve better.

heathersmorin 0

A marriage is one day that will cost them thousands of dollars, 3 rings that will cost god knows how much, and a piece of paper that cost roughly $25 (depending where you live) and legally makes the couple married. That simple piece of paper can make it cost thousands of more dollars to divorce if they choose so. All marriage is is MONEY!!!! Every aspect of it, is about money. Now what? Just because she is pregnant, does that mean they need to get married? Because those relationships always end well. I know plenty of people that have had children out of (as you may call it) wedlock, and they are still will there boyfrend/ fiancé until this day. Don't push your stupid traditions, it's makes you look like an ass.

84, weddings depending on the person can cost as little as $50.Not everyone wants a big wedding but that pretty little piece of paper shows that you love your partner enough to become one. Back in the old days marrige was used to find out if you were compatible by having said 'couple' on watch therefore no sex before marrige; ever heard of make-up sex? they prevented that so if they fought they had to handle it in a adult manner with out having that joy to just ignore their problems. If they handled the relationship and could stand one another with out sex for a year or so they were fine and dandy for marrige. Plus, if you got knocked up out of weddlock the GF's dad was behind you with a shot gun saying 'welcome to the family'

Well 84, how many of those had a spouse who was about to deploy to a war zone and run the risk of dying? You are aware that the Air Force, as with all services, will not pay a girlfriend or an illegitimate child in the event of a death aren't you? It is a bit more than tradition that is being thought of here.

SLP9008 0

I could care less about the traditions. I care about the kids that are going to thrown around and never know real caring and love because their parents didn't believe in love enough to get married. I never had a father around. I hated it. I don't trust men because my mom had guys that she dated and then they'd break up because she didn't want to marry.

carcinogan 0

what's marriage besides a girlfriend and boyfriend being legally bonded by paper? a family is more than marriage. marriage coats money, while being in love together boyfriend and girlfriend is just the same. Stop being morons. it's not the 1800s anymore.

runamile 4

So just because you have kids or you one day want to have kids, you should get married so they won't get "thrown around"? There are lots of kids who live in homes where their parents are married yet they fight, have tempers that get out of hand, or the parent still isn't around due to work or they just don't want to be there. There are just as many families where they are not married and the same thing happens. There are also families that are and are not married where they love each other and work hard to make their relationship work. Marriage is a personal decision between two people, not two people and everyone who feels they should get married. Some people get married and grow apart and decide to get divorced and ultimately the kids get hurt in that process as well. There are many different types of families and it's about what works for those two people and their family. It sucks not having your biological father in the picture, I know first hand but sometimes it's for the best and it doesn't mean you can't go out and form relationships and have male role models. While the benefits for the military are nice, forcing something that isn't what works for you is not going to end well for you or your children. To the people that are saying due to God and religion you have to get married, I'm pretty sure it also says it's not your job to judge so worry about yourself and your families not OP's relationship status. Congrats on the baby!

104, it's not all the same to the Air Force. That "silly" little piece of paper means the difference between that child living on food stamps or not should dad die. Stop being so angry at "oppressive traditions" when they can actually be better than your "better" solution.

lidemocr 0

it may not be the "1800s" as you say- which is laughable considering nothings changed law-wise but it's still best for her and the kid. unless of course she doesn't love him enough to marry him...

if you are trying for kids get married, take your time and show that you have your finances ready, then have kids. it's the mature thing to do. especially if op is an army wife.

runamile 4

It's not just about love....There are many other factors that play into it such as finances, family, past relationships ect. Either one could have been in a long term relationship/marriage before that ended horribly and they don't want to get caught up in the same mess. Many people get married, end up in divorce and realize they never want to go through that again. If the family doesn't like her or him it's a lot of stress on a relationship when you don't have that support but yet you care enough that you want to be with that person. When you marry someone, you don't marry just them: You marry their past & their family. Sometimes you may love someone so much but it doesn't mean you have to run off and get married as soon as the pee stick gets two lines

niiick97_fml 3

those are some long replies.

A7X_LoVeee 10
zbennett 0

You're loved one will probably never marry your whiney ass!

Hate to break it to you 84 but what you described was a wedding, not a marriage. Yes a marriage license does cost money but that's the only obligation you have to pay to legally say that you're married, everything else is optional. Contrary to what you said, marriage is more than the actual wedding day, it's getting to share your life with someone you love, that has nothing to do with money.

Hate to break it to you 84 but what you described was a wedding, not a marriage. Yes a marriage license does cost money but that's the only obligation you have to pay to legally say that you're married, everything else is optional. Contrary to what you said, marriage is more than the actual wedding day, it's getting to share your life with someone you love.

# 141, Who exactly is whining? Hopefully YOUR loved one will get you a book on correct grammatical terms as a wedding present to use on those "WHINEY ass" people, heck throw in a dictionary as well ;)

people that are in the military AND married get paid more. end of story.

j1114 2

before my husband and I got married, I would have received every penny from his SGLI because he put my name down, all he had to do was fill out an extra form stating that I was not his spouse at the time but still wanted everything to go to me : ) and as for our son, as soon as he was born he became a dependent of my husband (at the time we were only engaged) so my son received all the benefits from the military, the she wanted to receive the insurance benefits (Tricare) then yes they would have to be married

heathersmorin 0

145-I was simply stating everything around a marriage. Im sorry didn't state the in between period from getting married to passing away or ending up in divorce. What I stated above was divorce. All I'm saying is that everything cost money. They may not want to take that step right now if not ever or they want to save to have a decent wedding. I will say I did word it wrong. I should have said wedding day.... I'm not against marriage at all as I am married myself. They just don't need to run off and get married because they're going to be having a baby. My husband and I weren't married when we had our first child, and he was being deployed to Iraq. We didn't run off and get married. We knew we loved each other but we might not be where we are today if we did so. and yes 98 I am WELL aware of that fact due to the fact that I was a military girlfriend and now I'm a military wife. I have been through 2 deployments with my husband.

SpilltMilk2 0

First, I was born to a parent who wasn't married and who still isn't. I'm a honors student with high expectations and hopes. Marriage doesn't change the raising of the child, they're still his/her parents either way! So I don't know what the argument is about, who are you to know the situation anyway. Not everyone wants to get settled down like their Amish or something anyway, wth is this? The 1800s? Stop being such a traditionalist and get with the program.

heathersmorin 0

Oh 98 I didn't answer your question. Quite a few of them as I lived near a base :-)

IgnorantAmerican 0

84- If you don't have enough money to get married, then you don't have enough money to raise children.

IgnorantAmerican 0

84- If you don't have enough money to get married, then you don't have enough money to raise children.

167, the average IQ must be high where you live then. ( Sarcasm.)

5starchickz 0

Dont worry, its not as bad over there as the media makes it out to, his command will let him come home for the birth or he can arrange his R&R for around the delivery date.

piercedpeace 0

oh stfu. none of your business!

piercedpeace 0
5starchickz 0

Being an American Soldier and just returning home from Afghanistan myself, it would have been best if they were married. It just came to me that his command is not required to let him go home for the child’s birth. Plus if they were married they could be receiving family separation pay….there was one instance when I was there where a soldier’s “live-in” girlfriend had a surgery, but they wouldn’t let him go home to see her, but another older soldier’s daughter gave birth and he was able to leave to see his grandson……we all know that trying to have a baby and not being married is not how it's supposed to be. Marriage would certainly benefit them right now. I agree with #5

Thank you 201, someone actually in the military who has an idea what they are talking about. It's easy enough for civvies to say marriage isn't necessary, but for someone who will be messed about if they don't it's not so easy.

Bullshit. In the event of his death during this deployment, I get half of the 500,000 dollar life insurance policy the army has taken out on my fiance. His mother gets the other half.

I 100% agree with this statement. Especially being a military wife. If they were married she would receive FREE prenatal care and extra money while he's deployed. Also, it's just stupid to PLAN a baby before you're married. Accidents happen, but being stupid is inexcusable

Yeah well thank god my Mom didn't get married. My Dad turned out to be a cheating scumbag, and if they were married then it would have been a absolutely huge issue. You can't just pick up your bag and walk out in a marriage, it's always: 'What about the kids'. Yeah what about the asshole who put pressure on the marriage. I don't know, it just irks me that because you are bitter about your Dad, you think everyone should be married when having kids. Me, my Mom and my brother are happier as a single parent family, then we would ever be married to a liar and a cheat with children all over the place.

As sad as that is an exception shouldn't change the rule.

Randuhh_17 4

weddings don't have to be's called going to the courthouse, or justice of the peace, eloping, las vegas, don't have to spend thousands of dollars...and with all of those choices, the wedding could still be real nice. Now, I'm not saying anything....but I am the kinda girl who wants to get married before kids, but if it happens before, no chip on my shoulders. But I gotta ask, if y'all are bf/gf, and starting a family...which seems like an official step; why not just get married? And God forbid anything happen, but you should make sure you kid is protected incase of well you know. and to the lady who said the kid will be bounced around because they aren't married, if they have been trying to have kids, I'm sure both are going to be there. Anyhoo, even if they were married, he could do the same thing, as any couple who aren't married.

staalchick3 0

you are an asshole and keep your ******* opinion to yourself you don't have to be married to have kids!!!! I'm a teen parent! my sister knows how she feels my brother in law missed it too

monnanon 13

You do not need to be married to have kids, not at all. I planned my child and I have no intention of ever getting married because the money, even the tiny amount used on a courthouse wedding, can be better used elsewhere. Children need a loving family and a nuturing enviroment and whether we like it or not that means ANY type of good family. A single mum, grandparents raising a child, homosexual couples, polyamorous families and step families, this is the world now and as long as the child is no danger and is happy and well looked after then that is the right environment. You cannot say marriage is the pinnicale of relationships when you deny people in love the right to marry. What makes hetero love any better than any other kind? The laws need to change so that girlfriends or boyfriends of soliders and the children if there are any are entitled. It should be the case that if they have been together for 2 years then they are automatically given the rights. This archiac way of doing things mean that homosexual couples are missing out on thier rights because they cannot get married. The law needs changed.

skyeyez9 24

True! They are also not entitled to health and dental care by the military unless married. He is doing hos child and gf a great disservice leaving them high and dry.

260 and 261 you miss the point completely, by not being married OP and her child they risk not receiving any money should the father die, and will not get the health coverage offered to spouses and legitimate children. Your protest over what is acceptable in the civil world has no bearing in this. Yes you might be outraged the gay marriage doesn't exist, but when OP's boyfriend dies that outrage will do nothing, and should OP be in an awful car accident your moral standing will not pay for her surgery.

skyeyez9 24

It is a FACT married couples fare better financially vs a single parent counterpart. Also should your bf die suddenly, their out of wedlock kid and gf are entitled to NOTHING. Which means bf's parents and siblings can walk in yours and your bf home and stake claim to everything you have, including his savings account! I worked in a legal job and saw this alot. No marriage certificate, no will, no power of attorney means you will lose everything to his beneficiaries. Ugly truth. If my husband died, his life insurance would go to next of kin: parents. If it went to our child i'd be forbidden to be in charge of the money to make sure its there for her education. His parents would be executors and could liquidate EVERYTHING legally and nothing I could do about it.

To those arguing about the cost of a wedding: first of all, as others have stated, a wedding doesn't have to cost thousands of dollars. Second, if the problem for them not being married is money, then it's very irresponsible to PLAN a child without having some financial stability. Tradition or no tradition, the responsible and smart thing in this situation would have been to get married. If you love some one enough to live together and have children together, why not just get married?

monnanon 13

@248 I have not missed the point. I know, right now, that OP is entitled to nothing but they should be entitled. Its just another way of goverments cheating people out of things because they make a different choice in life. The laws around marriage have led to a lot of unhappy people who have been forced into marriage because they are having a kid, or couples who are not ready to e married getting married before one or both deploys. This is probably why divorce is so high because we feel we have to be married to protect ourselves. That is not being married for the right reasons is it?

spider63 0

That's horrible but it's not his fault no reason to act like it is

It was his decision to join the Air Force, wasn't it?

49, it was probably his choice before he met her, so he should give up his career if he meets a girl and/or gets her pregnant, is that what you're saying?

heathersmorin 0

I didn't read anywhere that she's blaming him for this. All she's saying is that I'm pregnant, he's leaving in June deployment, who knows what may happen to him, and it ******* sucks. All it is is a pity story.

duckie227 22

pity story for sure. and I for one have no pity.

SpilltMilk2 0

#49 - To protect our freedom and rights from other radical figures. They should stick you in the army too and see how you feel.

Aww well at least you know he won't b missing it cuz he's bonin your bestie.

stupid troll. gtfo and respect the men fighting for your country

vsx2000goton 0

72, he's being realistic. If you're going to have a family with someone in the army, then it's best to marry them so that you can get paid when they have their untimely death. I'm not saying all these people will die in service, but it's best to protect against the risks than get slapped in the face with it later.

it's best to marry so her and the baby will be covered for health care.... we all don't die when we deploy

mintcar 9

I understand you're sad but you knew what you were getting yourself into. Congrats though.

chrispierce 0

Seriously girl, change your picture unless you wanna hear all this crap being talked about you.

mintcar 9

I understand you're sad but you knew what you were getting yourself into. Congrats though.

Better get married before he deploys or you and your baby have no protection if God forbid something happens to him. You're better off to be a surviving spouse, as girlfriend with illegitimate baby means Nothing to the military. Sorry, not trying to be mean, just SMART. I was an Army brat and saw alot of situations.

I see your logic but marriage just because of finance is not a good solution :/

ronkster44 2

marriage just because finances? what about the kid? and the kid having insurance?

It's a better solution than not doing it. Murphy's Law says that if they don't marry he will die and she will get nothing, just saying.

ugliness you are a complete idiot. If they're dying to have kids then they love each other enough to get married. If she marries him the kids will have military insurance for medical and dental which I think is cigna, and rest good at that, and he'll make more overall, and even more on deployment, so he can better support them. So OP had better smarten up and get a ring. Also they'll get benefits if he dies for some reason.

Got_any_grapes1 4

15 you are completely right. I read your comments all the time and I decided your probably one of the smartest on here.

Looking at it objectively is the right thing to do. It has nothing to do with having a child out of marriage, and its ludicrous to think that an unmarried household can't provide a good environment for a child. But having a child is a big commitment, so they might as well get married. It's not like they're avoiding marriage just in case things don't work out right? Or at least I'd hope not...they're having a kid after all. That being said, there is MUCH more benefit to be had from marriage. As other people have said, in the event that the worst should happen, she would receive compensation that she could use to support their child. As far as the ceremony is concerned, money isn't much of a factor as far as just getting married, and there isn't any reason why they can't get married again. I say they should get married on paper, then if they want, plan a more lavish ceremony on his return and get married again.

well what about marriage for Health Care protection???