Embarrassing, Sleep, Dreams and Cute: Alexa, play "Dreams" by Fleetwood Mac

Alexa, play "Dreams" by Fleetwood Mac

By MadMax - 16/07/2009 14:59 - United States

Today, my friend awoke me because I was talking in my sleep. When I asked her what I was talking about she replied with, "Let's just say you were having tea with the Queen of England. And a duck. You're really good at quacking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 516

You deserved it 5 344

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

Truth

By Anonymous - 24/01/2021 08:01 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I recently started seeing a girl and I slept over at her house for the first time. Apparently, I still talk in my sleep. This morning she told me I whispered, "I love you so much." FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 148

By Big Baby - 28/01/2017 00:00

Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 440

You deserved it 806

By Anonymous - 07/08/2012 14:49 - United States

Today, I discovered that I sometimes talk in my sleep. After spending an amazing, perfectly romantic night with my boyfriend, I woke up to him telling me to leave. I have no idea what I could have said. He still won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 652

You deserved it 3 063

By OPforonepiece - 19/02/2016 14:38 - Netherlands - Delft

Today, I was talking to a customer and I actually fell asleep for a couple of seconds. I can honestly say she wouldn't stop talking and didn't even notice me snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 092

You deserved it 2 818

Lonely, so lonely

By Mike - 19/10/2021 14:01

Today, I woke up and realized that the "nice dream" I'd had was just about talking to people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 742

You deserved it 111

By Anonymous - 13/05/2013 22:05 - United States - Kapolei

Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 718

You deserved it 4 398

By niabby - 20/02/2009 23:13 - United States

Today, I was riding the train and fell asleep. A friend of mine got on a few stops later, and to be funny, shouted 'BOO!'. I woke up and was so startled I peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 448

You deserved it 6 856

By Anonymous - 11/08/2009 04:06 - United States

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 548

You deserved it 7 942

Freaked out

By ADanceWithDavos - 07/07/2014 15:59 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 014

You deserved it 4 624

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 07:37 - United States

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 777

You deserved it 13 968

redbluegreen 40

Thursday 16 July 2009 20:13

You were having a sex dream. Don't lie.

montgomery634 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 20:02

hahaha that's really funny

Comments

hrshykiss815 0

Friday 4 June 2010 3:45

that's hilarious!! :D

Allielovespanda 0

Sunday 11 July 2010 6:31

this isn't an fml. it's just hilarious.

ermkrmr 0

Tuesday 22 February 2011 7:55

sounds just like me... maybe were long lost siblings? haha

Misschief 2

Saturday 7 May 2011 0:26

I feel stupid but I really dont get this at all.

briissocoollike 8

Wednesday 14 September 2011 1:26

LMFAO

TigerSpots 4

Monday 31 October 2011 4:18

I think that's something you and your roomy could laugh at and have fun with, make the best of it bro

linarahmany 6

Sunday 1 April 2012 19:57

my cousin started moaning "bluberry pie" in her sleep once I'm just like O.O

sueki 5

Monday 28 May 2012 0:39

lmao... imagination much

jessicariley 7

Saturday 9 June 2012 6:56

That's hawt.

B5B0N35 18

Saturday 3 November 2012 22:31

Quack quack can u pass the sugar cubes

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I got called in for a second job interview for a position I'd applied for. When I met the interviewer, she smiled and told me to have a seat. She pulls out her phone and says, “So, care to explain this?” It was one of my TikToks from ages ago of me singing the "N-word" over and over again. I forgot I had that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 960

Today, one of my roommates bought new cowboy boots. He insists on wearing them indoors. Every morning he paces up and down the linoleum areas of the apartment with the boots on until he absolutely has to go to work, waking us up with the clomping noises. I and my other roommate work night and graveyard shifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 70

The Top

Today, I went to the park to read “The Book Thief”. I fell asleep and when I woke up, my book was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 342

You deserved it 993

Today, I was babysitting some kids and helping them make a poster about insects. They couldn't think of any more insects to add so I suggested a spider, and got told to "not be a dumbass, spiders aren't insects they're arachnids." The girl is six. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 930

You deserved it 55 984

Today, I called a tree removal company to have my diseased elm removed. When I got home from work, I was surprised to find it still there. Not as surprised as my neighbor was to discover that his tree was missing, nor as surprised as his children when they saw there was no more tree-house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 387

You deserved it 4 439

Today, the ugliest girl in school walked by me and said "ewwww". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 434

You deserved it 9 216

Today, my phone got stolen at church. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 267

You deserved it 3 962

Today, I learned that not texting my girlfriend for two days is considered dumping her, and is ample reason to screw other men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 389

You deserved it 10 038