By Anonymous - 13/05/2013 22:05 - United States - Kapolei
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Well, seeing as you asked: waking up to a random guy screaming the lion sleeps tonight, in a banana suit, while furiously masterbating. That would be pretty damn creepy.
17 - I think I know a guy like that downtown.
People can be weird. I woke up to my friend sniffing my ear one day
True friendship right there
I'm so curious as to what you did in response to this 0.0
He posted an fml
Giggity
Oh 18, I get it lol. At first I was like "...What the hell made you think of porn?". But after reading it more than once and then remembering how perverted Quagmire is, I was like "Ahh... I see how that's relevent to 12's proposal."
This is why many sleep with a gun under their pillow
#38 or with one eye open!
WHas it supposed to be soothing??
Foot job anyone?
What is a foot job?
a job for your foot.
#39 It involves shoving a foot up your arse
Have you ever had a "spotted dick"?
^comment was for 55 : thought since you knew what a blue waffle was... Maybe you'd know what a spotted dick was. Yes yes... It sounds really... It's just a dish.
Think about it.. It could have been worse he could have been stroking with something else
And that 'something else' could have slipped into your mouth
bahaha
A time to literally interpret the phrase "go break a leg." Someone else's leg. Off. But I am a bit curious about how he was standing.
If he was lying down, I think this would've been a very different FML.
most people have 2 legs. it isn't that hard to stand on one leg while lifting your other leg to bed height
Her? What FML are you reading? Apparently not the same one as me.
Keywords


(toe enters mouth) "Didn't mean to wake you." (moves foot away) -Glenn Quagmire
Oh alright, that's interesting.