Oh alright, that's interesting.

If that's not creepy as fuck, I don't know what is.

Well, seeing as you asked: waking up to a random guy screaming the lion sleeps tonight, in a banana suit, while furiously masterbating. That would be pretty damn creepy.

17 - I think I know a guy like that downtown.

People can be weird. I woke up to my friend sniffing my ear one day

True friendship right there

I'm so curious as to what you did in response to this 0.0

I stop reading after stroking face with bottom

He posted an fml

(toe enters mouth) "Didn't mean to wake you." (moves foot away)

-Glenn Quagmire

Giggity

...on another tangent, I still think "The Cleveland Show" is a joke. If anyone was to have his own spin-off series, it should've been Quagmire. My $0.02

12 just go watch porn.

#12 This is the U.S., Quagmire having a spin-off series wouldn't (or couldn't) be broadcasted here. Also, I feel the same about The Cleveland Show.

Oh 18, I get it lol. At first I was like "...What the hell made you think of porn?". But after reading it more than once and then remembering how perverted Quagmire is, I was like "Ahh... I see how that's relevent to 12's proposal."

i would've killed him!

Why resort to violence?

This is why many sleep with a gun under their pillow

#38 or with one eye open!

gripping their pillow tight!

That's typically so you don't wake up with someones dick in your ass.

WHas it supposed to be soothing??

Foot job anyone?

Wow, way to reveal our hidden fetishes, #6.

*checks for over 18* Yes please.

What is a foot job?

a job for your foot.

#39 It involves shoving a foot up your arse

Either massaging someones foot, or someone using their feet to give you a blow job.
I'm afraid to use google or urban dictionary after the "blue waffles", "2 girls, one cup", and "two men, one horse" incidents.

Have you ever had a "spotted dick"?

^comment was for 55 : thought since you knew what a blue waffle was... Maybe you'd know what a spotted dick was. Yes yes... It sounds really... It's just a dish.

That's creepy O.O

Think about it.. It could have been worse he could have been stroking with something else

And that 'something else' could have slipped into your mouth

bahaha

A time to literally interpret the phrase "go break a leg." Someone else's leg. Off.

But I am a bit curious about how he was standing.

The FML doesn't say he was standing.

If he was lying down, I think this would've been a very different FML.

most people have 2 legs. it isn't that hard to stand on one leg while lifting your other leg to bed height

Her? What FML are you reading? Apparently not the same one as me.