Today, the man next to me was feeding the birds when he ran out of food. We were at Adventure Island and there were "Do not feed the birds" signs everywhere. The birds then became aggressive and started savaging the both of us. FML

by kk / 06/25/2011 at 3:41pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I lost my dog. I looked around my neighborhood for hours, and found it under my bed asleep when I got home. FML

by Morgan / 06/22/2011 at 1:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I painted my daughter's bedroom. When I wasn't paying attention, the cat walked through the paint tray. There are now Barney purple paw prints all over the house. FML

by Barney / 06/18/2011 at 12:10pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals

Today, I finally used the statistics book that I forked out $120 to buy. To kill an ant. FML

by jaybob18 / 06/17/2011 at 2:07am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, our new cat, which my mum was hesitant about letting us keep because she believes they're diseased, gave us all ringworm. FML

by catlover / 06/16/2011 at 12:14pm / China / Animals

Today, my family went on vacation. I had to stay home to take care of everyone's animals. I called my mom, she said she was too busy to talk to me. My sister asked who was on the phone, she replied "the dog sitter." FML

by crapped on / 06/16/2011 at 2:25am / United States / Animals

Today, I let my new puppy outside for the first time. When I went to get him, I saw a man running off with him. FML

by robertsonjimmy / 06/13/2011 at 9:46pm / United States (Mississippi) / Animals

Today, after a full shift at work, I got home to my boyfriend playing CoD, a full sink, crap all over the table, a full cat box, dirty bathroom, no laundry done and the kids at my parents' house. He yelled at me because the place was a mess. FML

by rileynautumn / 06/13/2011 at 3:04pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, I ruined my computer screen trying to kill a fly. FML

by failure461 / 06/13/2011 at 12:37pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I ran over a chipmunk. On my bike. Its mangled carcass got caught in the spokes and decided to join me on my ride. FML

by cycler / 06/13/2011 at 12:22am / United States / Animals

Today, I was having a nice dream in which a beautiful butterfly flew by me and got stuck in my hair, fluttering its wings against my neck. Then I woke up and realized the "butterfly" stuck in my hair was actually a giant wood roach. FML

by Jenievonteese / 06/12/2011 at 7:33pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2011 at 6:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I'm trying to come up with a plausible explanation for my co-workers as to why I have stitches in my face. I'm not sure I want to admit that I was clawed by a pigeon as I opened my garage door. FML

by Anonyme / 06/10/2011 at 7:07pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Animals