Relatable

Covert failure

By Anonymous - 18/08/2021 20:01

Today, I failed school and ghosted all my teachers. Nobody knows, but I'm planning on telling my parents in a week. I'm fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 1 253

Classic mistake

By Anonymous - 18/08/2021 13:59

Today, I was getting ready for work and I sprayed my hair to stay in place, then went to spray deodorant under my arm, but noticed that it was super sticky. No wonder my hair spray smelled like baby powder, I'd confused one product with another. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 701

You tried

By Anonymous - 17/08/2021 14:01 - United States - Gilbert

Today, after thinking my crush maybe liked me back, I confessed. He didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 974

You deserved it 118

Social parasites

By Dank memes - 17/08/2021 04:01 - United States - Leesburg

Today, I can’t even find a place to rent. Every place has dozens of applications, with several offering well over asking price. I just graduated from college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 894

You deserved it 119

Foreshadowing

By Anonymous - 16/08/2021 20:01

Today, my husband wouldn’t touch or even look at our newborn daughter until she’d had all the birth slime cleaned off her, then he held her for like 5 seconds before giving her back, saying he could still smell the slime and vomited all over a nurse. This does not bode well for nappy changing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 441

You deserved it 244

Libido says no

By Anonymous - 16/08/2021 06:01 - United Kingdom - Norwich

Today, I discovered my girlfriend of 5 years would rather split up than make any shred of effort to revive her utterly dead libido from the last 2 years. She promised the whole past month to make an effort, before admitting she never gave a shit when my patience with her ran out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 983

You deserved it 826

Justice for Doggy Boy the dog!

By Anonymous - 15/08/2021 16:01

Today, I hate my wife’s dog. It destroys everything in the house, it destroys my garden, she barks constantly in her bed, and when I walk her she tries to attack every living thing she sees, but the instant I talk to my wife about her behaviour, I get yelled at for being mean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 273

You deserved it 180

Vicious circle

By Anonymous - 15/08/2021 10:01

Today, I have a permanent illness. Whenever I'm too unwell to manage the housework or children, my hubby does even less than usual. As soon as I'm well enough, I have a mountain of work to do, which makes me sick again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 173

You deserved it 144

Free healthcare, now!

By Anonymous - 13/08/2021 10:02

Today, I flew to America for my dad's funeral. I broke my vials of insulin and went to a pharmacy for a refill. No one told me they charge for insulin in America. One vial cost 270 dollars, the funeral is three days away and after booking a hotel, I have 6 dollars to feed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 872

You deserved it 240

Overreaction?

By Anonymous - 13/08/2021 08:01

Today, it's the second day my wife hasn’t been to work at all, because a cashier called her ma’am instead of miss. Apparently, it’s the first time this has happened and she’s so upset that she might be visibly growing old that she’s been in bed for two days crying. We’re both only 27 years-old, FFS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 226

You deserved it 172

Caught in the act

By Anonymous - 12/08/2021 14:01

Today, I went to a party and saw my current boyfriend making out with my ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 284

You deserved it 144

Natural birth

By Anonymous - 12/08/2021 04:01

Today, during labor, I farted every time I pushed with very deep sounds. I was so ashamed. I pushed so hard, I pooped and splashed the nurse in front of me right in the face. Everyone stopped laughing and the nurse didn’t talk until baby came. When my husband called my in-laws, it’s the first thing he told them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 489

You deserved it 169

America, **** yeah

By BrazilianGal - 12/08/2021 02:01

Today, a lady at the clothing store told me to, “Stop speaking 'Mexicano', this is America!” when I was talking on the phone. I actually speak Portuguese. When I pointed this out, she verbally tortured me and threatened to, “Call the cops” if I didn’t leave her store for, “making her feel threatened.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 308

You deserved it 182

Sharing is caring

By Anonymous - 11/08/2021 00:01

Today, I was making out with this guy when my nose started bleeding, and it got on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 107

Old soul

By Olivia - 10/08/2021 02:01 - Australia

Today, I was asked if I had children who are in high school. I’m 17. This isn't the first time someone has mistaken me for a woman in her twenties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 831

You deserved it 184

That sucks

By Rich - 10/08/2021 00:01 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst having a bath, I sucked a cup and it stuck to my face, as I’m sure others have done, right? However, the genius I am sucked it too hard and for too long, and managed to give myself a love bite goatee. The next week at school is going to be fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 230

You deserved it 1 079

Classic

By Daniel - 09/08/2021 16:01

Today, at work, I casually mentioned I was meeting some friends for dinner. My co-worker's response was, "You have friends?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 107

The Golden One

By Anonymous - 09/08/2021 06:01

Today, I asked my parents if I could borrow one of their three cars for the second time this year. They said no, suggesting that maybe I should consider buying my own car. This would be fair, if it wasn't for my sister borrowing their cars several times a week, without any disapproval. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 134

Take your time

By Kitty - 08/08/2021 15:59 - United States - Johnston

Today, thinking I could carry it all, I stubbornly brought a load of food in with both hands. The glass jar of nacho cheese smashed on my radiator, and I had to use a toothbrush to clean between the cracks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 900

Like glue

By Anonymous - 08/08/2021 10:01

Today, it's been almost 3 years since my wife has wanted sex, and I get turned down every time I ask. Even when I insist on a romantic date night, we just sit with no idea what to say to each other. How did we drift so far apart? The only thing keeping us together is the mortgage and the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 128

You deserved it 253

Life goals

By BlackRose - 07/08/2021 18:01

Today, I realized I’d rather be the crazy cat lady rather than get married and have kids like a normal human. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 324

Whistleblower

By Anonymous - 07/08/2021 02:01 - United States

Today, I discovered two senior doctors made misdiagnoses by ignoring protocols. When I confronted them, they denied it. My director told me not to turn them in, and I'm not financially stable enough to quit. The state licensing board only takes complaints from patients. I'm so sorry, I don't know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 147

You deserved it 97

Sensitive

By itsevenworse - 07/08/2021 00:01 - France

Today, my wife is giving me the silent treatment and has locked herself in the bedroom, all because I politely asked her to put the dishcloth away when she was done with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 727

You deserved it 161

Healthy relationship goals

By leapfrog998 - 05/08/2021 20:01 - Canada - Bancroft

Today, my husband told me to stop being friends with my best guy friend because I won't let him hang out with his ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 995

Can't win

By Anonymous - 04/08/2021 08:00 - Australia

Today, I got yelled at for staying in my room too long; got yelled at for going out of my room; got yelled at for staying at a friend's place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 111

Wage slaves unite

By Wtf do I do - 03/08/2021 10:00

Today, I learned that I’m being forced to go back to a position I do not want, or find a new job. I’ve been with the company for 12 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 69

How to invite someone without actually inviting them

By Anonymous - 03/08/2021 07:59 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, my parents asked me if I was sure I didn't want to join them on a family trip tomorrow with my sister. I was never invited, and unlike the rest of the family, I have a full-time job where I can't just take days off with no warning. This is how they announce most "family trips" to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 273

You deserved it 72

On the leash

By Anonymous - 03/08/2021 01:59

Today, it hit me hard that the girl I love is not still not interested after a year. She's now ghosting me, and she hangs out with my friends daily. She constantly talks about dating in front of me and only text/calls me when I post shorts/stories hanging out with other girls, just to pull me back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 830

You deserved it 821

Dog people

By peta eata - 02/08/2021 22:01 - United States

Today, a crazed woman started screaming at me at the dog park. She was saying that I was cruel and unfit to be a pet owner, and she ought to kick my ass. My dog's ears and tail were cropped before I even got him. He’s a rescue and came to me like this. She wouldn’t listen and followed me to my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 194

You deserved it 95

Shifting

By Anonymous - 02/08/2021 14:01 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, my mom is trying to be quiet, thinking me asleep. This means she will whisper to the dogs in the upstairs hallway, then quietly go downstairs where she will bang the doors so hard that the house shakes. Apparently, she thinks each floor is in its own separate dimension. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 121

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The Top

Today, while I was walking to class, I was hit by a car. The driver stopped to let me cross in front of her, started moving again, hit me, and then yelled at me, saying it was my fault for walking in front of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 074

You deserved it 700

Today, I bought an "I love my boyfriend" t-shirt so people wouldn't think I'm single. I'm very single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 087

You deserved it 42 431

Today, I walked four blocks with toilet paper hanging out of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 906

You deserved it 28 931

Today, in biology class, I kept seeing a fly or a mosquito buzzing past my face and I kept trying to swat at it… only to realize that it was a ceiling sprinkler that was about 10 feet away. I have no depth perception. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 385

You deserved it 18 055

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend's wife. He's still saying he is not married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 553

You deserved it 326

Today, I got my husband his favorite candy and wine for Valentine's Day. He got mad and accused me of doing it to "bribe" him into bed, since he hasn't been wanting sex lately. When I asked how he could say something so cruel, he admitted that he's been cheating on me, and my gift made him feel guilty about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 108