Work and Health: Today, at my first day of work at a new job, I got stuck in the...

By Anonymous - United States - Brooklyn

Today, at my first day of work at a new job, I got stuck in the elevator going to the parking garage. I have claustrophobia about both elevators and parking garages. They said this never happens. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4059

You deserved it

380

Favorite

Work

Health

Out of it

So you had a bad day…

Supply and demand

By SnuggieOverload - United States

Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48748

You deserved it

3681

Favorite

By Atletic - United States - Syracuse

Today, I have three cracked ribs. I have also, for the first time in my life, developed a case of the hiccups that simply will NOT go away. It's been hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29983

You deserved it

1759

Favorite

By haggisbowl - United States

Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

31964

You deserved it

9419

Favorite

By anon - United States

Quickshot

Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53203

You deserved it

5974

Favorite

By Anonymous - 29/9/2020 02:04 - Australia

Online shopping

Today, I was showing my mum how to use eBay. Unfortunately I didn't notice my recent purchase history was on display: a huge black dildo; a jockstrap and a bong amongst them. Of course, she did. FML

I agree, your life sucks

438

You deserved it

1230

Favorite

By deadman - United Kingdom - Market Harborough

Today, I'm having heart surgery. The doc came in, donut in one hand and papers in another. While I was filling them out, his hands kept trembling, and he dropped the donut on the floor. He fumbled to pick it up and kept eating. The guy I'm entrusting my life to doesn't even respect the five-second rule. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30290

You deserved it

2461

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada - Barrie

Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26177

You deserved it

2593

Favorite

By Saw - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking down the street, when a car started cruising alongside me. I looked over, annoyed, at which point the driver started screaming obscenities and telling me that I'm "gonna get it" for "betraying" him, before angrily speeding off. I'm too scared to even sleep now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25566

You deserved it

2627

Favorite

By no she wasn't high - United States - Garland

Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47783

You deserved it

5863

Favorite

By Can't Unsee

Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3023

You deserved it

518

Favorite

By itssdianaa - United States

Today, I was home alone, and I thought I heard someone breaking in through the side gate at my house. I was terrified, so I called the police. It turned out it was the gas company checking the meter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11917

You deserved it

27804

Favorite

By Kens - Canada

Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30290

You deserved it

106525

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, my boyfriend of nearly six months broke up with me. Over text. In a group chat. With the new girl he wanted to date. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12408

You deserved it

726

Favorite

By well then - United States - Forest Park

Today, my girlfriend randomly confessed to basically having a "phobia" of monogamy. But don't worry, she defensively assured me she's never ever cheated on me, even though I never said she had, so I guess that's okay then. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27721

You deserved it

2443

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, at the office, my most annoying client asked me to send her a document. I have now sent it to her over 5 times, in a different format each time, and every single time she replies with, "Not in the requested format". She won't tell me what the requested format is. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52236

You deserved it

4384

Favorite

By notyourcleaner - Malaysia - Puchong

Today, my new roommate puked into the sink and all over the bathroom floor, before passing out on her bed. Apparently, she was awake enough to wash her own face but not clean up her vomit. We share the bathroom. This is the second time already. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32000

You deserved it

2668

Favorite

By oh lord - Canada - Oshawa

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I've been working on a novel for the past six months, and what would have been mid-way through, I accidentally said the main character's name instead of my boyfriend's. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28471

You deserved it

16831

Favorite

By Great - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was on the train going to work when my travel tea cup began spilling inside my purse, which was on my lap. It went all over my skirt, pooled at the bottom of my feet, and, yes, everyone notice that it happened to be piss-colored yellow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27982

You deserved it

4550

Favorite

By blinded - United States

Today, I went to get a facial. I forgot my contact case so I put them into paper cup. My beautician thought it was leftover water from someone else, and threw my only pair of vision aid away. I scuttled home half blind. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16140

You deserved it

26733

Favorite

By Alex - United States

Today, I found a website that lets you write an email to yourself from "the past". I used my boss's address, and wrote a long email about how much I hate him, signed from me. It worked, and he'll receive it in 6 months, after I move away. He's already received the confirmation email, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10148

You deserved it

58905

Favorite

By Anonymous - Germany

Today, after almost a week of being bed-ridden with a bad flu, my mom told me it was my job to clean the house. When I told her I still had a fever and didn't feel well, she looked at me and said in an understanding voice "It's okay honey, you can do it slowly." FML

I agree, your life sucks

33795

You deserved it

5134

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried shaving my bikini area for the first time. I ended up cutting myself several times. I now have impressive razor burn, and it's incredibly painful to even wear pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30901

You deserved it

6313

Favorite

By Shoe - United States

Today, my boss told me he suspected his wife was cheating on him. I told him to pull up her Facebook page to look for suspicious activity. I looked at her profile picture and said, "Damn, that girl next to her fine! You know her?" It was his sixteen year old daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8893

You deserved it

39765

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I saw my girlfriend going into my best friend's dorm room and suspected her to cheat on me so I placed a camera in his room to spy on them. In the end, I discovered that my girlfriend has problems in math and both my best friend and brother are gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20746

You deserved it

83126

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had finally summoned the courage to break up with my boyfriend, something I've needed to do for a long time. Right before my speech, he presented me with tickets to my favorite band a month from now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24836

You deserved it

5956

Favorite

By Bonecrusher - United States - Sonoma

Today, I was trying out for a position as pitcher for my college baseball team. I threw the ball as hard as I could, and then collapsed to the ground in agony from a dislocated shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30347

You deserved it

5306

Favorite

By Liam. - France

Hot stuff

Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said, "Nice chair." She replied, "Nice bruise" and punched me in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14617

You deserved it

51834

Favorite

By TanjinaRubbaiyat - Bangladesh

Today, I was dumped at the surprise party I threw for my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39969

You deserved it

2991

Favorite

By jlw1998 - United States - Dallas

Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18406

You deserved it

4450

Favorite

By (-__- ) ( ^.^) - United States - Minneapolis

Today, trying to be romantic, I started coming on to my wife while in bed, only for her to yet again say she wasn't in the mood. When I asked why she never is lately, she sarcastically blamed it on the government shutdown, then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57797

You deserved it

6296

Favorite

By Sam - United States - Elmhurst

Today, I had to turn down an invitation to one of my best friend's birthday party because I had been scheduled to work. Little did I know that my job on that day would be setting up the tents, tables, and chairs for that very birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52789

You deserved it

4442

Favorite

By shakira, when the walls fell - Canada

Today, thanks to pregnancy hormones, I cried my eyes out for hours over the guy who dumped me 9 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24465

You deserved it

2942

Favorite

By scully11 - Canada

Cue Shaggy

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37281

You deserved it

3333

Favorite

By Peter

Today, while at work, I got fired because I was 'hitting' on my boss's wife who also works in the same company. Since when does 'asking for paper clips' mean 'hitting on'? FML

I agree, your life sucks

32758

You deserved it

2828

Favorite

By j4 - United Kingdom

Today, my date mugged me, just minutes after I paid our bill at the restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37472

You deserved it

2943

Favorite

By Dana O'Neil - 24/8/2020 15:03 - Canada - Westerose

Invest in ear plugs

Today, and every night all summer, I can hear the kids outside playing when I go to bed. They’re so loud, it makes it hard to sleep. The kids have a later bedtime than I do, and I’m 33. I'm feeling like a broken down old lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1156

You deserved it

242

Favorite

By SocialAnxietySucks - United States - Houghton

Today, the clock in the study lounge was off, so I was half-an-hour late to class. I was too embarrassed to walk in late, so I sat for the next half-hour with my ear against the door trying to hear the lecture. People stopped to ask if there was something wrong with me. Yeah, probably. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39220

You deserved it

11882

Favorite

By idk what to do - 4/3/2021 00:30

Single life

Today, I'm 22 year-old woman, and my entire family thinks something is wrong with me because I've never been in a relationship. I'm starting to believe them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

832

You deserved it

122

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - New York

Today, while working at Subway, I was called a "terrorist" and other names by a customer 'behind my back'. I made him the best sandwich I'd ever made, in order to leave a good impression. Then I had to say the wonderful words, "Your total is $9.11." FML

I agree, your life sucks

2076

You deserved it

130

Favorite

By freezingtodeath - United States

Today, I ran into Target's dressing rooms to try pants on, leaving my full cart outside. An employee thought it had been left there, and took it to put the stuff back. My coat, hat, gloves were in it. I had to walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13617

You deserved it

22802

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Regulate | 21

#7459897 - Thursday 25 May 2017 3:55

Ask them to install some stairs. Or a ladder or something. Can buildings legally only have elevators? Probably not. Use the stairs.

By moodyreallyrocks | 27

#7459885 - Thursday 25 May 2017 2:16

Glad you're okay OP. Be proud of yourself!!

COMMENTS

By moodyreallyrocks | 27

#7459885 - Thursday 25 May 2017 2:16

Glad you're okay OP. Be proud of yourself!!

By Beatriz_Moretti | 1

#7459889 - Thursday 25 May 2017 2:40

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

By Regulate | 21

#7459897 - Thursday 25 May 2017 3:55

Ask them to install some stairs. Or a ladder or something. Can buildings legally only have elevators? Probably not. Use the stairs.

Druu | 53

#7459947 - Thursday 25 May 2017 8:19

I guarantee you there are stairs. It's very American to be lazy and take the elevator. I too dislike elevators, so I usually walk if it's not a ridiculous number of flights of stairs.

Lalala579121 | 27

#7460077 - Thursday 25 May 2017 14:44

Pretty sure it's a fire safety violation for them to not have stairs. I kinda think OP doesn't know what "claustrophobic" means if they were in the elevator to begin with.