Relatable

Boomer humor

By Anonymous - 25/11/2010 02:49 - United States

Today, I celebrated my birthday. When asked last week, I said I wanted a keyboard. When I opened the present, my parents went into hysterics. It was an electronic Dora the Explorer keyboard. I've been studying music composition and theory for six years. They think my major's a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 907

You deserved it 6 155

Happens to the best of us

By Anonymous - 13/10/2024 06:00 - United States - Akron

Today, I got ready for work half-asleep, grabbed my coffee, and walked out the door. It wasn’t until I was in the elevator that I realized I was also holding the TV remote instead of my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 197

Better late than never

By nice is not enough - 27/11/2021 22:59

Today, I had to admit to myself that I’m not attracted to my boyfriend on any level. I agreed to go out with him because he's a nice guy, but the reality is we have absolutely nothing in common. Not to mention, we have the sexual chemistry of a vegan and a bacon cheeseburger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 1 085

Bedtime stories

By Anonymous - 02/01/2023 03:00

Today, my boyfriend really gets off hearing me talk about previous sexual experiences in extreme detail while we are having sex. I have run out of real stories, so now I just make stuff up, but it's getting hard keeping track. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 325

You deserved it 487

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk

By annonoymus - 16/03/2010 16:00 - Australia

Today, I was having an in depth discussion with my girlfriend's father about how corrupt journalists are and how our town's paper is the worst paper on the planet. After insulting basically everything about the newspaper, I asked him what he did for a living. He's the editor of the newspaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 751

You deserved it 47 146

Betrayed

By Whaaaaaaa - 02/03/2023 12:00

Today, my mom had a fit and confessed that my grandfather is also my father. Apparently, I was the product of a rape and she further confessed that she was going to abort me but chose not to, and she regrets her decision. What caused this conversation? Me watching the season 4 of "You" without telling her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 577

You deserved it 175

Sliced and diced

By Anonymous - 18/04/2023 18:00

Today, I was in a rush to get ready for work so I quickly shaved my legs. In my haste, I accidentally nicked myself in a very sensitive area and had to spend the day simmering in discomfort and checking my crotch every so often to make I wasn't bleeding through my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 700

You deserved it 273

Silver linings

By Anonymous - 21/12/2021 05:01

Today, as a 6 ft 8 woman, I never get much attention from men, until today when a guy who was 7 ft 1 approached me at the bar with the chat up line, "Hey little lady, you look about my size, can I buy you a drink?" It worked. I'm such a stereotype, we’re going on a date tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 539

Don't come again!

By Brain Bleach? Anyone? - 22/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, as an adult, I finally got to meet my great-grandfather. I had no idea he was still alive, since my parents and even my grandpa never told me. When we met, I found out why my family like to pretend he doesn't exist: This senile 93-year-old is by far the most racist person I've ever encountered in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 166

Keep your hands to yourself

By jackofbadtrades - 04/12/2021 03:01 - Canada - Bridgewater

Today, I was walking out of class when I saw one of my friends using the student printer. I'm a very playful person and like teasing and joking with people, so I snuck up behind her and started tickling her. I tickled her, before realizing that I had never met her in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 1 652

Shy colon

By scared2poop - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Australia - Brighton

Today, like many other days, I drove 15 minutes away from my girlfriend's house to poop at the local McDonald's, because I'm too scared of her roommates hearing my extreme noise terror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 859

You deserved it 4 017

Can't hold it in anymore

By Anonymous - 28/05/2022 04:00 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, both toilets in my house were occupied, so I had to shit outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 188

I did what now?

By Lost what I never knew I had - 15/03/2025 18:00 - United States

Today, my husband rushed me to the hospital, and we were told that I'd had a miscarriage. Neither of us knew I was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 614

You deserved it 89

Cursed cursive

By Cursive Curse - 06/12/2022 00:00

Today, I realized I am one of those people who has trouble reading their own handwriting. It looks like someone trying to write in cursive when they don't even have the slightest idea what cursive writing even is. I do know what it is. I'm just very, very rusty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 297

Classic

By Anonymous - 11/11/2021 08:00 - United States - Wilmington

Today, I asked my coworker how she met the old guy from Squid Games. It turned out to be a picture of her with her grandmother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 1 264

Let down

By Anonymous - 23/12/2021 17:01 - United States

Today, I visited a friend out of state. We've been flirting for months and decided to fool around at night. He was very loving and attentive, but... he'd bragged about his dick being 6 inches and it ended up being not only thin, but very short. So thin and short that I couldn't really feel it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 553

You deserved it 388

No kink-shaming

By Cybertronianchic - 05/09/2020 09:58 - United Kindom - Birmingham

Today, I realised I'm so much more sexually attracted to Transformers than anyone I've ever met. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 126

You deserved it 631

Sebummer

By ewwww - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I discovered that an unmentioned side effect of my new medication is body zits. I now have zits on my neck, my ear, and inside my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 883

You deserved it 3 465

Dramatic

By Tea'd off - 19/06/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I found out that I can no longer have tea, which I have been drinking for as long as I remember, because caffeine now gives me severe hyperthyroidism attacks. I don't know what it's like to watch your best friend die after having known each other for several decades, but I imagine this is a good analogy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 192

What is wrong with me?

By I can't anymore - 16/06/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, my finally figuring out what the hell is wrong with my body has coincided with the local clinic closing for the weekend. I can't get referrals until they open again. Only three long, boring, miserable days and three long, agonizing, sleepless nights to go. And probably more even after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 90

WAKE UP IT'S MONDAY MORNING!

By Anonymous - 02/09/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I was running late for work so I grabbed my coffee to go. I was rushing down the stairs when I stumbled a bit and spilled the entire cup of coffee all over myself. I had to go back up, change clothes, and was still late. The kicker? It was decaf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 233

You deserved it 351

We're in Hell

By GetMeOut - 23/05/2022 14:01

Today, it’s my first day staying with my aunt since the untimely passing of my parents last week. So far, she slapped my phone out my hand for being on the phone with a guy, feeds me vegan food, and told me to “turn off that black people music.” Only a year and a half left until I turn 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 035

You deserved it 122

Feu Orange

By Farty - 02/09/2021 19:01 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I found out my boyfriend keeps a car air freshener on his desk, because it "keeps my farts away from his air." FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 318

Gas giant

By …how??? - 20/04/2022 22:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I learned that the average human farts 15 times a day. I fart more than that within the first hour of the day, and that’s even after not eating anything for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 766

You deserved it 166

Don't call me Karen

By Anonymous - 24/03/2022 18:00

Today, I was so tired that I thought the item I'd ordered a few months ago had been delivered then stolen, so I emailed the company about it. When I checked back on the website, I realized it hadn't actually been delivered yet and I read the invoice wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 510

Guilt

By subconscious karen - 23/05/2021 17:01

Today, I had a nightmare in which I murdered a store employee because the store wasn’t selling the item I wanted. I would never do that in real life, and now I feel extremely guilty for how I acted in my dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 199

Growing old sucks

By Anonymous - 03/11/2022 05:00 - United States

Today, I'm celebrating one year of retirement. Also, almost one year of recovering from a broken leg, quickly followed by a broken hip. I may never walk correctly again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 114

Classic blunder

By Anonymous - 28/10/2022 16:00

Today, I had a phone call from a company I was applying to. It was going really well, until the call ended. Now since I'm so used to calling my girlfriend, I ended the call with, "Love you, bye." And if things couldn't get any worse, I started swearing to myself. The recruitment officer heard me. I forgot to hang up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 890

Overwhelmed

By Anonymous - 11/04/2024 06:00 - Germany

Today, any regular person might go to work, exercise, shower, shop for groceries, cook some food and spend time with friends. I barely manage to do ONE of those things on any given day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 205

Decisions, decisions

By Anonymous_229 - 20/02/2022 08:01 - Australia - Preston

Today, I have to make a hard decision on whether I should move on and free my boyfriend from me and let him do his own thing while I do my own, or resolve our differences. Advice needed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 570

You deserved it 362

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was at soccer practice. The ground's keeper just aerated the field, and my teammates and I decided to throw the cylindrical clumps of dirt at each other. I got hit in the face with one. It wasn't dirt. It was a clump of wet dog poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 390

You deserved it 13 560

Today, my absentee dad died in America and some branch of the American government decided that I need to settle his debts. "Which debts?" you ask. Unpaid child support. Yes, America wants me to pay them my own child support, despite never meeting my dad or even once setting foot in America. FML

I agree, your life sucks 679

You deserved it 76

Today, I stuck one of those "kick me" signs on my friend's back for fun, and someone took the invitation. Unfortunately, my friend whirled around and beat the shit out of him. I managed to sneak the sign off his back, but now I feel like a total asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 534

You deserved it 50 764

Today, I stayed up all night to study for my anatomy final at 9 a.m. I studied outside the testing room in the hall all night. Apparently, I fell asleep with my headphones on, as my friend woke me up after walking out of the test, asking how I did. 300 classmates walked by and no one woke me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 156

You deserved it 15 580

Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 650

You deserved it 8 840

Today, I had a dream in which I was having a panic attack. When I woke up, I was actually having a panic attack. Double the fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 120