Today, my boyfriend is quite capable of getting an erection. He gets one when we watch porn, when I talk dirty to him and do handjobs or blowjobs, but the moment I get naked for the main event, he goes as soft as a boiled noodle. I haven’t been properly shagged in 6 months. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like having sex with me, because I get too wet and it makes him go limp. FML
Today, it's been six months since I gave birth, and no matter how many times we've tried, my post baby body just doesn’t arouse my husband anymore. We still love each other, but for him to get a boner these days he has to watch a few minutes of porn first then keep his eyes closed during sex so he doesn’t go soft. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML
Today, I realized that the amount of time it takes my boyfriend to get an erection takes longer than the actual sex. FML
Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me. Even if I'm next to him in bed. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of three years, who can't get it up for me and has been blaming blood pressure issues, apparently has no problem getting it up while watching the neighbor undress from our window. FML
Today, my new boyfriend and I really wanted to have sex, but he went soft as soon as he entered me. This happens every time we try. I feel cursed by my year-long dry spell. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex. Foreplay was amazing, but as soon as he started to get it in, he lost his erection because he was too nervous. He's a 30-year-old virgin and this has happened at least 10 times. FML
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Top comments
Plop 17
Toys, going down on you, little blue pill, there are plenty of things you can try. My personal suggestion is a finger right up his butt though. Not because it has a high chance of working, but because more problems should be solved by shoving fingers in butts.
jobekka 20
try a skirt, he can lift
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Comments (12)
jobekka 20
try a skirt, he can lift
RichardPencil 32
Turn off the lights! It's easier than losing weight.
HayNow 11
OP never said they were overweight.
49_Donuts 15
Maybe switch the order and make sure you get taken care of first! Some guys can’t keep it up after an ejaculation.
Plop 17
Toys, going down on you, little blue pill, there are plenty of things you can try. My personal suggestion is a finger right up his butt though. Not because it has a high chance of working, but because more problems should be solved by shoving fingers in butts.
Vesi 30
🤣
GKButson 2
Well there must be a problem lol
SteelyAnt 4
Sadly I think that may mean that he either doesn’t find you physically attractive or he get nervous. It’s probably the latter, though.
Wadlaen 24
Maybe it's a sign: Maybe you should do as they did in the olden days and wait till the wedding night?😜
poeserpursche 11
Time for a diet maybe? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
geerod 16
Google “ your brain on ****” that’s his primary problem!
geerod 16
Google “ your brain on ****” that’s his primary problem!