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Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Ironic

    Squirting the night away

    By svet - 22/02/2009 02:07 - United States

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 32 540
    You deserved it 84 322
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    Keywords

    Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 39 200
    You deserved it 3 172
    Today, I thought my man was cheating on me. I took a screenshot his bank transactions because I found a woman’s name. I went down a rabbit hole and it turned out it’s the name of an actual store / company. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 48
    You deserved it 658
    Today, I found out my husband only started to date me because he thinks I look like his daughter. She was 5 at that time. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 960
    You deserved it 158
    Today, I had to have a serious talk with my 30-year-old husband about why Sesame Street isn't a "soap opera." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 43 359
    You deserved it 5 149
    Today, my friend and I offered a hot girl a lift home from campus. I was sitting in the passenger seat and she climbed in behind me. As I adjusted my seat forward to give her more leg room, my friend pulled off - slamming my seat back into her legs. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 28 163
    You deserved it 4 273
    Today, my cute coworker begged me to cover his shift tomorrow, and told me that he wanted to take me to dinner to make up for it. I was very excited because I've been crushing on him for a long time. I later overheard him tell his friend that he didn't plan on showing up for our dinner. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 36 829
    You deserved it 3 745
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