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Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Ironic

    Squirting the night away

    By svet - 22/02/2009 02:07 - United States

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 32 540
    You deserved it 84 322
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    Keywords

    Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, for the 20th time, I poured wine into my ashtray, while the glass was next to it. I also have the bad habit of tipping my ash into my drink. What the fuck is wrong with me? Maybe I should look at what I'm doing instead of the PC screen. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 107
    You deserved it 1 317
    Today, I walked in on a homeless guy peeing on a turd on the floor of the women's restroom at the park. I'm a janitor for the city. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 28 357
    You deserved it 2 409
    Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 17 331
    You deserved it 2 461
    Today, I slept in my boyfriend's room for the first time. I also wet the bed for the first time in a decade. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 5 967
    You deserved it 788
    Today, as a waitress at Denny's, I had a 25 top table. Only 3 of them spoke English. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 4 914
    You deserved it 481
    Today, on a first date with a guy, I spilled ice cream all over my pants. He bought me some more, and as I was thanking him, he said, "You've never had a guy treat you right, have you?" I said no and started crying. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 45 704
    You deserved it 5 294
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