App
FML for mobile
Free
Open in app
FMyLife

search

Categories

All
Random
Spicy
Nearly FMLs
The Top
FML - The Follow-Up

FML

Submit Moderate

Account

Log in
FMyLife FMyLife
Submit your FML Moderate the FMLs
Log in
All Random Spicy Random Spicy The Top FML - The Follow-Up Nearly FMLs
search
​

Submit your FML

Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Ironic

    Squirting the night away

    By svet - 22/02/2009 02:07 - United States

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 32 540
    You deserved it 84 322
    Share  
    • 7
    • 8
    • 9
    • 10
    FML on Facebook

    Keywords

    Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, my dog chewed up my $120 dildo. Goodbye, sex life. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 13 528
    You deserved it 5 543
    Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 37 439
    You deserved it 3 278
    Today, I have been waiting for a call from a job I applied for. I soon got a text from my current boss, who doesn't know I'm job hunting, letting me know that the recruiter was trying to reach me. It turns out that the phone number on my resumé was wrong. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 9 772
    You deserved it 38 979
    Today, I called a taxi after a night of partying. When it arrived, I realised I had no cash, so I told the driver I'd quickly grab some from an ATM. He made me leave my phone with him as collateral in case I was pulling a prank. He drove off the moment I turned my back. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 43 607
    You deserved it 15 077
    Today, a friend who visited me a week ago with "allergy rashes" told me that it's actually scabies, and she hopes I didn't catch it from her. It takes 2-6 weeks for the symptoms to show and I can't use the medication for it anyway because I'm pregnant. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 23 805
    You deserved it 1 524
    Today, I found out I’m not getting a raise, despite my ‘outstanding’ performance, since the company made a loss this year. Last year I didn’t get a raise because of COVID uncertainty. The year before that I didn’t get a raise because I only just got ‘promoted’, where I also didn’t get a raise. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 153
    You deserved it 127
    Download on the App Store Our app is now available on Google Play

    Even more FMLs

    • Nearly FMLs
    • Top FML
    • Random FMLs
    • Moderation
    • FML - The Follow-Up

    Useful links

    • FAQ
    • Contact us
    • Terms of use
    • The list of badges to find

    FML around the world

    • Français
    • English
    • Español
    • Deutsch
    • Italiano

    © VDM SAS, All rights reserved

    ​