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Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Ironic

    Squirting the night away

    By svet - 22/02/2009 02:07 - United States

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 32 540
    You deserved it 84 322
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    Keywords

    Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, my husband gave my cellphone number to his most obnoxious, creepiest friend. I've been drunken-dialed five times already. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 27 584
    You deserved it 2 782
    Today, at work, someone found a bat indoors. I offered my help. They shouted, "Let someone with the right expertise do it." I volunteer as a bat carer. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 071
    You deserved it 137
    Today, I mentioned to my girlfriend that I'd sent in a job application after she went home. In front of her parents. Who thought she'd stayed the night at a friend's place. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 24 374
    You deserved it 8 881
    Today, due to an emergency, I have worked for 21 hours non stop. When I got home at 6 a.m. I fell into bed and stuck to the sheets. Only then, just as he was going to work, did my husband yell up the stairs that the sheets needed washing because he spilled his cough medicine all over the bed when he woke up. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 182
    You deserved it 100
    Today, I was absolutely crucified online for asking the vet’s office how much it would cost to put my dog down. She's terminally ill. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 196
    You deserved it 118
    Today, I walked in on my younger cousin trying to find Minecraft porn. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 20 655
    You deserved it 1 794
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