Ironic

Passive-aggressive

Anonymous - 09/02/2024 22:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I voiced my unhappiness to my girlfriend, as I wanted to go to a class before we met her friends this weekend, and she said she hated back-to-back events. It was unfair as she often planned her work before our dates, and ended up being late. She became paggro, all because I want to learn a new skill. FML

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Expectations

Anonymous - 06/02/2023 04:00 - Australia - Hawthorn

Today, my stepdaughter, who despises me and lives in the same house, says she wouldn't go out for a birthday dinner with the family because I was going. She still expects me to drive her for a one-and-a-half hour round trip to drop her off at work. FML

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Lockdown 4: Covid strikes back

yuyu - 10/07/2021 08:01 - Japan

Today, here in Japan, it was announced that we are going into ANOTHER state of emergency, for the fourth time, meaning restaurants, movies, theaters, all will be closed. BUT they will still host the Olympics. FML

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You're one to talk

fataldisease - - France

Today, my son laughed at me when I tried to get him to put a bit more effort into his schoolwork. Turns out his grandmother had showed him all my shitty school reports from when I was his age. FML

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Spending spree

Anonymous - 21/09/2023 04:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I got a pay bonus and spend it on paying for 12 months of car registration up-front for the first time in my life, filled the tank, and got it professionally washed. After all that, I accidentally reversed into my own house, causing major damage. I have to borrow the money for the insurance excess. FML

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In the eye of the beholder

Anonymous - 28/07/2022 19:00 - Israel - Jerusalem

Today, I'm in the best shape of my life after losing 2.5 stone over 2 years. I never got any female attention when I was overweight, so I was quite surprised when at the gym an attractive woman came over and started flirting with me. It was going great, until she said, "You'd be perfect if you had a dad bod". FML

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Chill out, dude!

Anonymous - 27/04/2023 03:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was running late for a meeting and wound up getting stuck in traffic, which started to stress me out to the point of road rage at no one in particular. When I finally arrived, the meeting had been cancelled. FML

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Energy saving

I can't win - 19/07/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, my parents had me pet-sitting their cats again, since they were going to be gone all day. I noticed their oven was on and wanted to turn it off, but when I do they always yell at me because they "had plans for dinner." This time however, they yelled at me for NOT turning it off, because they'd already ate. FML

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Risky

Josh - 13/10/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, I thought it would be fun to join my friends for a game of paintball. I got shot in the same spot three times in a row. It turned out to be my own team, who mistook me for the enemy because I was wearing… camouflage. FML

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Icona Pop, I assume

ugh - 23/01/2016 20:48 - United States - Agoura Hills

Today, I crashed my car into a bridge, while playing a song with the line, "I crashed my car into a bridge". FML

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Crisis

Anonymous - 02/09/2022 20:00 - United States - Milford

Today, the same person who tried to OD, threatens suicide monthly, and threatens to off people almost daily, called the state police on me because I had a PTSD episode. FML

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Close, but no cigar

LisaM - 27/02/2023 04:00

Today, my long-distance boyfriend of 3 years uttered the heartbreaking words, “I met this girl here in my hometown and she’s really great and we fell in love with each other, I can’t do this anymore. We’re over.” I was planning on moving to his town after graduation this year. FML

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Virtue signalling

Anonymous - 06/06/2023 12:00

Today, I stumbled upon a few of my former uni classmates’ social media profiles, all sharing anti-bullying posts and adding sad comments. Really thoughtful of them, if you ignore the fact that these same classmates bullied me relentlessly during my college years, causing me to take antidepressants daily. FML

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How the turntables…

You gotta be kidding me - 25/12/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, my wife announced her support for Donald Trump for president, someone who vehemently is against immigrants. She herself is an immigrant from Colombia, who became a naturalized US citizen last year. She became this way because she was undocumented and I, a US citizen, married her so she could have papers. FML

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Intense

counterproductive - 21/09/2020 11:01 - United States

Today, after I'd finally decided to see a doctor about my anxiety and insomnia, I was so nervous about what the doctor would think of me that I had anxiety attacks that kept me from sleeping a wink all night. I ended up oversleeping and missing the appointment I was so nervous about. FML

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Robby Krieger rubbing salt into the wound again

No time to wallow in the fire - 08/07/2022 16:00

Today, I had to stay at a friend's house because my dryer caught fire. My friend decided to start cleaning, so he put on his music playlist. By sheer coincidence, the first song that played was "Light My Fire." FML

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The love boat

Anonymous - 29/01/2023 16:30

Today, I boarded my very first cruise, in order to relax and unwind for week-long vacation. However, when I got on the ship, I found out that I get seasick REALLY easily. FML

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Welcome back!

Terry - 21/02/2023 08:00 - United States - Tampa

Today, my girlfriend works for a company that cleans VRBOs, so while she went to see family for a week, I asked her coworkers to come clean while she was gone, even the owner of the company showed up, They deep-cleaned house, but when she got home I got yelled at for a dirty coffee mug on my desk. The coffee was still warm. FML

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No time to lose

Atma - 02/07/2023 03:00

Today, I spoke to my girlfriend about how we don't spend enough time talking to each other, but she went on to tell me that we'll talk about it tomorrow because she wanted to sleep. FML

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Sitting ducks

Anonymous - 30/07/2023 12:00

Today, my friend and I stopped at a convenience store. She mentioned that it was was "a bad part of town", and I angrily reminded her that just because it's a poor area doesn't make it bad, and that she needed to be more tolerant. We then got jumped, beaten, and robbed. FML

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Genius

Huh??? - 23/02/2022 14:00

Today, my girlfriend was in a pissy mood because she said none of her friends have been texting to check on her lately since she changed her number. I asked if she gave the new number out. She said that no, she wanted to see who cared enough to call and ask for her new number. She doesn’t get it. FML

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Context matters

Anonymous - 06/07/2022 18:00 - United States - Ronkonkoma

Today, my coworker tried to justify the overturn of Roe vs Wade by saying she had 3 kids and was able to do it. Yes, she was also married to their father for a few years, and when they divorced, the kids lived with him while she couchsurfed. FML

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I'll be back

missmolliss - - United States - Norfolk

Today, I keep getting calls from companies that I applied to for interviews. The thing is, I moved 1,000 miles away a week ago because I couldn't find a job. FML

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Ironic

Anonymous - 05/02/2023 10:00

Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet. Now I know why they call it 'smart' phone; it's smarter than me. FML

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Time to relax

Calimero - 26/04/2019 02:00

Today, I forked over a hefty sum to stay the night in a beautiful, luxurious hotel room, because back home I have a baby that doesn't sleep through the night yet. Never would I have imagined I would be staying directly next to the town nightclub. I'm still awake. FML

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Health and wellbeing

fuck - - United States - Somerville

Today, I scolded my son at a buffet after he pointed at an obese woman in a motorized wheelchair and asked how anyone could let themselves get so unhealthy. As I lectured him on genetics and thyroid problems, she rolled past with a plate stacked with an obscene amount of fried food. FML

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Narcissist Mom

ItsYou - 22/11/2023 10:00

Today, my coworker was going on and on about how her son was nice and got good grades but that she needed to find him a therapist because he's too shy in class, and how she didn't want her friends to think badly of her. She's a counselor. I sat in silence for almost an hour, because all I could think was, "WTF? Poor kid." FML

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Damned if you do…

ritualdevice - - France

Today, I have to train people overseas to do my job. If I succeed in teaching them what they need to know, then they get my job, and I get fired. If they don't perform well, then as the trainer I get blamed, and get fired. FML

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Teach what you know

E…… - 24/11/2022 17:00 - United States

Today, I found out my sex-ed teacher from high school was married and had her first child while she herself was still in high school. Looks like she didn't pay enough attention in sex-ed. FML

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Gardening world

Anonymous - 17/05/2012 16:28 - United States - Great Mills

Today, I was trying to convince my husband to not trim the lower branches of my favorite tree. After pleading my case, I turned around and ran smack into one of said branches. My face and my dignity still hurt. FML

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my mother-in-law asked me when my fiancé and I were going to start having children. When I told her we weren't planning on having any, she went on a tirade about how selfish and cold I am for denying her precious grandchildren. Now she hates me. FML

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Today, it's been a year since completely breaking a ligament in my ankle. Since then, my feet have gotten increasingly sensitive, walking or standing for longer than ten minutes feels like I'm being stabbed, and lasts long after I sit down. I work retail and they consistently forget to give me my breaks. FML

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Today, my boyfriend told me to stuff my bra before going to a party with him and his friends because he didn't want to be embarrassed. FML

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Today, I bought my fiancée a dress for her birthday. She accused me of saying she was fat, because I bought it in medium rather than small. After trying on the dress, she's now not only mad at me for buying it, but also because the dress fits perfectly. FML

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Today, my crush took me out to lunch. When the waiter came for our orders he ordered onoin rings and looks at me and says, "I won't be kissing anyone tonight anyways." FML

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Today, I attempted to give a motivational speech to my kids, trying to inspire them with life lessons. They then asked me why I couldn't "do a cartwheel like all the other parents" and challenged me to try. Now my back hurts, and I’m questioning my life choices. FML

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