All the FMLs

Hey guys, OP here! Must confess, this actually happened to my mum, who really isn't a fan of weed. If it had happened to me it wouldnt have been such a big deal but for a middle class woman in her 40's its a bit of a shocking statement on a first date! That coupled with the fact he kept suggesting to her that they should get a hotel room was enough to send her running!

By snazz23 - 02/05/2016 21:12 - United States - Bastrop

Today, I got engaged to the most wonderful man in the world. I excitedly called my mom to tell her the great news, thinking she'd be excited too. Her only response? "Oh." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 099

You deserved it 1 131

People suck

By why - 02/05/2016 20:08 - United States - Beachwood

Today, the family I was serving had ordered calamari and when I brought out the food, they started yelling at me because apparently their daughter was allergic to it. Just why would you order it then? FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 065

You deserved it 901

Safe bet

By Pee.H.D - 02/05/2016 17:24 - United States - Fontana

Today, since I always fall asleep in class, I decided not to go to the bathroom beforehand, hoping the need to pee would keep me awake. I ended up falling asleep and wetting myself in the middle of the lecture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 874

You deserved it 7 275

By Alex White - 02/05/2016 16:50 - Canada - Westerose

Today, my husband was using the microwave when we suddenly hear a huge 'POP'. The good news is we found our daughter's missing hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 530

You deserved it 4 769

By Pupluv183 - 02/05/2016 16:43 - United States - Newport

Today, my now fully vaccinated puppy went to a restaurant for the first time. They allow clean, well-behaved dogs. He threw up everywhere from excitement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 591

You deserved it 2 575

Pupluv183 tells us more.

Pupluv183 4

Tuesday 3 May 2016 22:15

OP here. The restaurant allows dogs, saying its illegal when it's obviously not makes no sense. He is 5 months, more than a week after the vaccination. No way was he going anywhere the day of. He goes on walks in public (touristy) areas and has met many people and dogs. He had never thrown up before so that's why it was so surprising. He has been fine since so we just have to chalk it up to excitement. He was very well behaved but very upset that none of the food going by was for him. And no we absolutely can not leave him alone while we go out. He is like a toddler, I go pee and he has gotten into something, if there is nothing to get into he chews on furniture, if there's no furniture he chews himself and barks until he gets tired. We definitely want him social and coming out with us over all that.

By shrek - 02/05/2016 10:25 - Australia

Today, my brother dyed my white work shirt bright green because I beat him to the shower this morning. As it's my only shirt, I had to wear it to work, where there was a surprise audit and I was fired for incorrect uniform. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 728

You deserved it 1 510