Miscellaneous: Today, after the last few months of my sister living with me...

By Anonymous - 22/06/2016 00:28

Today, after the last few months of my sister living with me while she finds her feet, I asked if she could help me out by doing the washing up. Half an hour later, I walked into knee high dish soap foam in the kitchen. My sister was right in the middle, trying to sculpt dicks. She's 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 110

You deserved it 1 096

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/11/2012 10:00 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 897

You deserved it 2 433

By tawnaciousd - 10/09/2009 06:35 - United States

Today, my sister surprised me by cleaning my room and doing my laundry. She found my journal, condoms and vibrator and decided to share her findings with my family. Oh yes... she also shrunk half my wardrobe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 153

You deserved it 5 060

By sheridan.ashley - 15/05/2010 06:27 - Australia

Today, my sister decided to wake me up by pumping handwash into my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 037

You deserved it 3 518

By Alexa23 - 15/03/2009 15:47 - United States

Today, I got out of the shower and my 3 year old sister comes into the bathroom and says "I want big boobies like yours when I grow up." And from the other room I hear my dad go "Sweetie, you've already got bigger boobs than your sister." FML

I agree, your life sucks 131 205

You deserved it 8 910

By FullMonty - 15/09/2012 23:26 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, my 2-year-old sister walked in on me while I was showering. She began to splash around in the toilet, and as I hastily jumped out to stop her, my brother and his friend got a good look as they walked past the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 078

You deserved it 3 995

By kkbb - 14/03/2010 06:05 - United States

Today, I figured out it's the first time my roommate has done the dishes after living together an entire year, but I got to clean up the bubble waterfall that came pouring out of the dishwasher because she couldn't figure out where the detergent was supposed to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 530

You deserved it 2 582

By awkwardpineapples - 08/01/2015 03:13 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I found my sister licking all of the silverware and putting it back in the drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 876

You deserved it 2 634

By jessefonsexy. - 07/12/2010 11:08 - United States

Today, I was trying to go to sleep when I heard my sister come home from the bar. I fell asleep and woke up an hour later to see my sister squatting in my dresser drawer. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I'm peeing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 141

You deserved it 2 772

By Anonymous - 15/09/2018 01:30

Today, I found out my sister has been "borrowing" my adult toys and putting them back without washing them well enough. How did I find out? I came back positive for an STI. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 273

You deserved it 284

By 2gewd4u - 15/01/2012 01:24 - United States

Today, I walked in on my sister sitting on the toilet, trying to use "The Force" to pull over the toilet paper roll sitting on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 243

You deserved it 4 099

Dave_Davington 33

Sunday 14 August 2016 11:10

Just tell her to stop dicking around and get back to work.

GrantedTexas356 13

Sunday 14 August 2016 11:04

So, put together, how many did you guys sculpt?

Comments

Oh_No_Not_Him 25

Tuesday 12 July 2016 11:43

Your sister is fantastic! And so is this entry.

GrantedTexas356 13

Sunday 14 August 2016 11:04

So, put together, how many did you guys sculpt?

tibtak_fml 10

Sunday 14 August 2016 14:29

20 sounds like the perfect age for this

LyricaSilvan 29

Sunday 14 August 2016 19:28

Shit, I'm 25 and I would do that. XD

Dave_Davington 33

Sunday 14 August 2016 11:10

Just tell her to stop dicking around and get back to work.

the_panda 11

Sunday 14 August 2016 11:16

And..? She's a goddess o/

buckdharma 37

Sunday 14 August 2016 11:25

I can help her find her feet. If you start at the head, and then travel down the shaft, my guess is they're right underneath the two balls?

Arkham_Callabero 15

Sunday 14 August 2016 18:00

You did read the part where it said "Sister" right? Or did you just fail basic biology?

tomatosz 23

Sunday 14 August 2016 18:27

#11 He said 'her' feet, so I'm going with the latter.

Pepsiisbae 15

Sunday 14 August 2016 20:49

He could've ment the ones that she was sculpting her feet would've been under the ones she was sculpting,but it was still stupid

Aeriyx 6

Sunday 14 August 2016 21:31

I think he was making a joke about starting from the head of the dicks she was sculpting.

Tsukiyomi 16

Sunday 14 August 2016 12:49

You might need to choke a bitch

Colon_Man 17

Sunday 14 August 2016 14:09

After a few months? Helping around the house starts on day one.

puppies4life 10

Sunday 14 August 2016 17:05

Is it bad that I laughed at this for 2 minutes?

OnAMission 5

Sunday 14 August 2016 18:37

No wonder she couldn't find her feet, the dish soap foam was covering them.

Khaleesi_D 9

Sunday 14 August 2016 19:32

I've done that before except it was laundry detergent.

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Love Embarrassing Miscellaneous Romantic Christmas Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 886

You deserved it 61 114

Today, I noticed one of my toenails was getting super long, so I cut it. In doing so, I accidentally ripped it off and it started bleeding. As I went to get something to stop it from bleeding, I got a huge splinter in my little toe, causing a painful infection. I think I should just go back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 169

The Top

Today, I had an ovarian cyst rupture at work, causing sudden severe stomach cramps; this caused my bowels to release everything right then and there, while on the phone with a customer, in the middle of the call center surrounded by 200 other sales reps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 474

You deserved it 1 868

Today, I sucked so bad that I faked an injury during a football game to get out of playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 635

Today, I was told I needed to start carrying bandaids with me at work because practically every day I hurt myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 172

You deserved it 2 347

Today, it was my birthday. My mom didn't buy me a present, throw a party, or acknowledge the event in any way. Last week it was our dog's birthday, which included a party for all the neighbourhood dogs, and a cake for our dog, made out of bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 238

You deserved it 2 164

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 203

You deserved it 18 358

Today, my sister offered me a couple of doughnuts she bought recently. Thinking she was just being nice, I went ahead and started eating, and was met with the most horrid taste I've ever experienced. Turns out her "recently" was two weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 713

You deserved it 2 156

Same thing different taste

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