By dancingqueef - United States - Kingston Today, my mom told me to break a leg before performing in my dancing school's show. I really did break part of my leg while performing. FML I agree, your life sucks 12661 You deserved it 1173 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AngryBirdman Today, my girlfriend told me she is only going out with me because I look like the person she really wants to go out with. FML I agree, your life sucks 42149 You deserved it 3675 138 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By KMAC - United States Today, I found out my fiancé is in a long distance relationship with his ex. Not only do we live on the same island, he's also my neighbor and my co-worker. FML I agree, your life sucks 30307 You deserved it 3301 146 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fouryearswasted - United States Today, I found out my girlfriend of four years is legally married to a man in prison. He gets out next week. FML I agree, your life sucks 46781 You deserved it 3867 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By disaster... - United States Today, my mom and my step dad decided they're getting a divorce. They've been married for 2 weeks and I paid for a quarter of the wedding. FML I agree, your life sucks 71215 You deserved it 6518 117 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sickly Today, my friend came over with brownies as a treat before work. She works in a bakery so I thought it was lovely. After starting work, I became stoned. She thought it was a great prank. I was fired. FML I agree, your life sucks 43387 You deserved it 4320 122 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By burnt - Australia - Middle Swan Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML I agree, your life sucks 25036 You deserved it 3306 123 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kalisa anteater - New Zealand - Auckland Today, I had to explain to my mother that a lace mini-dress with an obscene amount of cleavage was not appropriate to wear while meeting my boyfriend's parents. She called me an "annoying prude" and said that with my attitude, I don't deserve to have a man. FML I agree, your life sucks 51200 You deserved it 4907 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bennyp77 - United States Today, I was at a tennis match and it was really hot. I took off my shirt to cool down. A member of the staff then tapped me on the shoulder and told me that my "bare breasts might offend someone." I'm a man. FML I agree, your life sucks 28901 You deserved it 15651 63 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sweatstreaks - United Kingdom Today, I noticed that when I sweat I smell like bacon. I'm a vegetarian. FML I agree, your life sucks 25028 You deserved it 11464 220 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Roomie pay rent plz - United States - Hicksville Today, my roommate's shopping addiction reached a whole new level. He bought a box of tampons just because they were 40% off. Yes, he. FML I agree, your life sucks 19329 You deserved it 1290 50 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ewwww - United States - Oak Lawn Today, I found out where the mysterious bites on my back keep coming from. It's not every day you find an earwig in your loofah. FML I agree, your life sucks 41492 You deserved it 4294 107 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML I agree, your life sucks 46865 You deserved it 21528 141 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Bortenssen - Australia - Perth It was either an expensive event, or learn to manage your money. Today, I found out that the reason I couldn’t buy a commemorative jacket to wear at my rugby club's 50th anniversary was because the event had already happened. I paid in full for the event, and it cost me most of my savings. FML I agree, your life sucks 779 You deserved it 1351 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mylifesucks - United States - Lexington Today, I was stuck in my apartment complex's elevator. I was shouting out for help when a voice came screaming, "This is the fire department." I was relieved until he said, "Just kidding." FML I agree, your life sucks 51202 You deserved it 3398 49 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia - Bairnsdale Today, I faked my age to win a colouring competition. I just turned 19. FML I agree, your life sucks 9750 You deserved it 29263 162 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 5/1/2021 05:00 Mr Commitment Today, after I caught my (now ex) boyfriend cheating. He told me that it isn't my business if he was seeing other woman, because we didn't had an official relationship. We have been living together in a house we bought, for two years now. FML I agree, your life sucks 1199 You deserved it 93 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By A.J. - United States Today, I had a dentist appointment in which a nurse numbed my mouth. After coming home, I took a nap in which I unknowing bit through my top lip. I physically can't speak. FML I agree, your life sucks 1776 You deserved it 157 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jesus christ, dad - United Kingdom - Manchester Knock first Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML I agree, your life sucks 56760 You deserved it 7027 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By oopsydaddy Today, my dad asked my help with a computer problem. Whenever he logged on Facebook, every single advertisement appeared to be hardcore porn. I had to awkwardly explain that these ads are based on his browsing habits. FML I agree, your life sucks 2674 You deserved it 161 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rainydays79 - United States Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends who names their bowel movements. FML I agree, your life sucks 5418 You deserved it 59851 218 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I found out that I'm 8 weeks pregnant. Tomorrow, I'm supposed to be leaving for Paris with my college abstinence group for a year. FML I agree, your life sucks 13378 You deserved it 80857 371 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By watersport - United States Today, I woke up because I really had to pee. I got out of bed, went to the bathroom and went back to bed. Or so I thought. I did pee, but I only dreamed that I got out of bed. FML I agree, your life sucks 34050 You deserved it 4296 252 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I gave a campus tour to a group of high school seniors. As I was showing off the dorms, one student asks, "Are these beds sturdy enough for threesomes?" Before I could respond, another kid shouts, "How would he know, I bet the only action he gets in bed is from his left hand." She's correct. FML I agree, your life sucks 108853 You deserved it 11770 146 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Chocolaty - Australia - Geelong Today, I spiced things up by lying on the bed and pouring melted white chocolate on myself. I called out to my fiancé to come in. He was 'checking' his favourite scene in Batman vs Superman and couldn't hear me. I was stuck unable to move for ten minutes until he finally heard me. FML I agree, your life sucks 13512 You deserved it 4356 70 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Oragami - 12/6/2020 14:07 Galaxy brain take Today, a customer told me it was bullshit we couldn't serve coffee because of the COVID restrictions, and added that the protests and riots happening are because people are bored. FML I agree, your life sucks 1266 You deserved it 199 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Unluggee - United Kingdom Today, at a party, my three friends and I thought it would be fun to urinate in a jug. We dislike the neighbours, so decided to throw the contents of the jug over the fence into their garden. It hit a tree and splashed back. I ended up covered in our piss. FML I agree, your life sucks 13935 You deserved it 188332 404 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Brighton Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML I agree, your life sucks 31906 You deserved it 5542 172 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By whyyyyyme - Canada Today, I also needed to add, "Does not currently live in a psychiatric hospital, after being declared 'Not criminally responsible for a crime'" to my list of qualities that I want in a man. FML I agree, your life sucks 22627 You deserved it 2215 37 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sudoc Working too hard! Today, after spending 6 hours straight working on a project at school, I decided to call it a night. The instant I set foot out of the lab, the building started screaming. The maintenance guy had set the alarm without telling me. The police had to let me out. FML I agree, your life sucks 3798 You deserved it 233 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 12/1/2021 05:01 Insurance is a scam Today, you’re required to have health insurance in my country. I have no income, I spend more on insurance than on food, yet most of the treatments that actually help me are not covered by the insurance. FML I agree, your life sucks 822 You deserved it 62 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Headless - Denmark - Lyngby Today, for our anniversary, I had made a small treasure hunt for my boyfriend, tying roses with notes of poetry to lampposts across campus to lead him to where we would have a romantic dinner. He couldn't find it because people had stolen the roses, or simply ripped them to pieces and thrown them away. FML I agree, your life sucks 33587 You deserved it 8945 97 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ants everywhere but my pants - United States - Sun City Center Today, I left the windows open because I live in Florida without air conditioning because the asshole landlord won't fix it. There was nice cool air from the rain. I've killed about 100 flying ants that have made their way inside. Now I have a hot house with closed windows and flying ants. FML I agree, your life sucks 14010 You deserved it 1513 45 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Danielle Heichelbech - 8/11/2020 08:02 - United States Chemical warfare Today, my 28-year-old husband lifted one cheek, strained so hard I thought he'd shat himself, and screamed, "Fire one!" as he released from his ass a stench so awful all my eyebrows and eyelashes are now permanently curly. FML I agree, your life sucks 885 You deserved it 132 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By julieriis - Denmark - Hals Today, I was in a car accident, two days before Christmas. I'm now laying at home, not able to walk. My whole family thinks that I'm joking. A car drove over my foot, I'm not joking. FML I agree, your life sucks 21989 You deserved it 1763 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By chelseaface - United States Today, I braved the winter weather conditions to get to a clinic for a prescription anti-diarrhea medication. When I arrived to find it closed, I turned around to walk to my car where I slipped on the ice. The impact made me simultaneously bruise my elbow and shit myself. FML I agree, your life sucks 37500 You deserved it 3613 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Luisa Lunch Special Today, we have nearly no food in the house. My husband went shopping with the kids and returned with a sack of tomatoes. Time to make lunch. FML I agree, your life sucks 1965 You deserved it 218 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jajaja - Canada Today, I got my braces on. When we got in the car my dad looked over and said "well at least we dont have to worry about boys for the next two years." FML I agree, your life sucks 64685 You deserved it 4653 97 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By obnum - United States Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML I agree, your life sucks 58689 You deserved it 9211 196 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NYCguy - United States Today, my female room-mate decided to throw away my xbox, along with a few other possessions because they reminded her of her ex. Furiously, I asked her if "it was that time of the month again." Now I can't feel my balls, and miss my games. FML I agree, your life sucks 43551 You deserved it 15703 378 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DrumrollPlease - United Kingdom - Banbury Today, my phone autocorrected "with chills" to "with child" in the middle of a message, and I didn't notice until I was contacted several hours later by a panicking friend. My gastric flu is now rumoured to have been morning sickness, all because I can't proofread. FML I agree, your life sucks 12620 You deserved it 2245 26 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By CalebLawrence | 25 #6633765 - Wednesday 22 June 2016 10:49 Don't want to step on a crack now, it might run in the family. Send a private message 82 0 Reply
By YoloWhiteRSA | 20 #6633776 - Wednesday 22 June 2016 10:55 Always listen to your mother. Get well soon OP. Send a private message 52 1 Reply
By Awesomeify | 15 #6633763 - Wednesday 22 June 2016 10:48 You took it at bit too literal there, OP. Send a private message 11 1 Reply
By 20bricks | 28 #6633764 - Wednesday 22 June 2016 10:48 At least it didn't cost you an arm and a leg. Send a private message 6 5 Reply
Reply SecundusSecunda | 27 #6633767 - Wednesday 22 June 2016 10:50 He got it for the low price of a leg fracture! Call now and receive 2 for only 19.99 plus S&H to the hospital! Send a private message 3 3 Reply
By CalebLawrence | 25 #6633765 - Wednesday 22 June 2016 10:49 Don't want to step on a crack now, it might run in the family. Send a private message 82 0 Reply
By Rozay333 | 34 #6633769 - Wednesday 22 June 2016 10:51 At least your mom was trying to be supportive! :) Hope you heal quickly and get back on the dance floor asap! Good luck OP!!! Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By YoloWhiteRSA | 20 #6633776 - Wednesday 22 June 2016 10:55 Always listen to your mother. Get well soon OP. Send a private message 52 1 Reply
Reply PePziNL | 20 #6634393 - Thursday 23 June 2016 2:19 Yeah or in this case, maybe dont /always/ listen to your mother. Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By james_logan | 19 #6633803 - Wednesday 22 June 2016 11:33 First you break your hand in your competitive dramatic speech, and now this! Send a private message 7 0 Reply
By Geckosrock99 | 33 #6633958 - Wednesday 22 June 2016 15:40 You know you're not really supposed to break your leg, right? Send a private message 0 2 Reply
By lui_pg | 21 #6634012 - Wednesday 22 June 2016 16:36 The dramatic speech competition really paid off Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much... I agree, your life sucks 563 You deserved it 130 7 Comments
Today, I came early from my job, just to find my boyfriend in bed, with my dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 1026 You deserved it 52 6 Comments