By Anonyme - 22/06/2016 04:05
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I never understood parents who deny or try to suppress their teens/young adults desire to spend time and be with their SO. I understand not wanting them having sex in your house, although I disagree with suppressing this too unless they're super young, I'd rather them be safe than sneak around and potentially get arrested and the sneaking just makes it more dangerous in general. But hanging out, kissing, making out and whatever else, isn't a bad thing. I have found the math has gotten a bit harder, they do more difficult subjects earlier grades/ages now. Also, the process they are expected to use to do math now, at least in my country, is idiotic. I just would have said no. It's her word against yours, you can deny it. Also tell them the reasons she's doing this is to blackmail you into doing her homework, I have a feeling your parents wouldn't be too happy about that either.
*edit* ignore my comment, I somehow omitted the "ex" in reading your comment (I just woke up, my apologies, apparently my mind is still half asleep). Parental strictness should be irrelevant in relation to doing what you want. If you don't want to do something, and your boyfriend is forcing you to, it's not right, and is sexual assault. If you fall back to saving yourself by saying that you have strict parents, then you're not in a healthy relationship. Since you say you're a teen, I'll make the assumption that you're school-aged. Talk to your school's guidance counselor; if they don't have one, or can't help for some reason, or the situation escalates, go to the police. You shouldn't be forced to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.
I agree, it depends on the specific teen and sometimes parents can know their teens better than they even know themselves. However, for the most part, strict parenting isn't great, sometimes it works out, like for #5, but it often causes the kid to rebel, sneak around, they don't trust their parents, and it harms the relationship between them and when they get older they'll cut them out of their life. My parents weren't strict, at all, when I turned 15, I could basically come and go as I pleased as long as I told them where I was. But I never got in trouble, always went to school, got good grades, I didn't even use this privilege a whole lot. I had their trust, which I think I had a right to at that point, I did a lot to earn it, I was a pretty good, responsible kid, but it feels very nice, especially as a teen, knowing your parents trust you, and there's no way I would have abused it or done anything to get that taken away.
My parents trust me a fair amount, they just don't trust other teenagers as much. And yeah, that was a shitty relationship, long story short it's over. I do agree that parental trust is a good thing, and anyway my past situation is irrelevant here because OP seems to be doing things consensually.
Yep, that's exactly what I'm talking about #29. I've helped my younger sister with her homework and it's just ridiculous, there's like 20 steps to get the answer, verses the original like 2, and it's so complicated it ends up making even less sense. My mom and I ended up showing her the original way, my sister said it's way easier and makes more sense. Unfortunately, we also had to teach her the common core method because that's what they expect to see on tests.
I agree w you on the math part. I'm one of those ppl who ALWAYS struggled with math (preschool-12th, "84-" 97). It's not bc I'm stupid, my IQ hits in the mid-120's. I just can't math. I can run a cash register, figure a decent tip, etc., but as for my middle school son's common core crap? I have no idea.
We don't know the specifics of why OP's parents are strict regarding the boyfriend. Maybe it's something against their daughter having any relationships, or potentially something against this boyfriend specifically. Whatever it is, if the parents are not opposing the couple going out and doing things outside their home, I don't think that is a big deal. Honestly I feel that OP should have been more careful. This whole situation could have been avoided if OP and her boyfriend kept to themselves while in their parents' house. If OP's sister decided to tell their parents, she would lose all trust with them.
I'm another one who grew up without bedroom door locks. They just don't have them. I can also only remember one house where the master bedroom had a lock, but it was easy to get around because the double doors made it pretty much useless. In my case, it's not because my parents were strict. I just don't think bedroom door locks are common where I grew up. They aren't where I live now either. I think I had one or two friends growing up whose bedroom doors had locks and I always thought it was the strangest thing.
Siblings.. They WILL find leverage and they WILL use it.
And now we all understand why your parents are generally not lenient.