All the FMLs

Hate the player, hate the game

By Anonymous - 21/03/2022 16:00

Today, my husband left me for the whore he cheated on me with four years ago. I forgave him and took him back then. I guess I deserved this for being stupid and trusting him once again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 028

You deserved it 570

American exceptionalism

By Smh - 21/03/2022 14:00

Today, I was berated, then unfriended and blocked on Facebook by an Ukrainian girl, all because I reacted with a “Care” on Facebook on her status about her family back home dealing with the war. Apparently, I’m a “hypocrite” for voting for warmonger Biden, thus “getting them in this mess.” Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 010

You deserved it 599

Scatterbrain

By Rendered - 21/03/2022 12:00

Today, I tried to write a journal entry about my day, but since I've become so used to going on tangents, my daily entry did everything but talk about my day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 639

Sir Alan no Sugar

By Anonymous - 21/03/2022 20:00 - Australia - Thirroul

Today, I realised the project I’ve been tirelessly working on for 6 months is actually going to cost the company $380,000. I thought the negative symbol was a saving, not a loss. I'm a senior analyst for the company, or at least… I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 1 278

You bastard

By ccgundum - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Vancouver

Today, someone hit my parked car. The impact caused the front of the car to go up onto the sidewalk, and I got a ticket for parking there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 062

You deserved it 4 055

Stinki Boi

By Mrs sensitive nose - 21/03/2022 04:00

Today, my nose finally unblocked after a week of having a cold. Now all I can smell is the disgusting stench of my husband's pits. We've argued three times already about his refusal to shower more than once a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 057

You deserved it 140

Community cat squad

By Anonymous - 21/03/2022 02:00

Today, I found out that I have mice because my landlady got rid of the community cats that were keeping them outside, and apparently my cats aren't taking care of them. I found out when I turned on my oven and my apartment was filled with an awful smell that turned out to be burning mouse crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 99

Ego boost

By FatBeachGirl - 21/03/2022 00:00

Today, I was feeling confident, so I rented a cabana at the beach and put on my best swimsuit. I was at the bar when suddenly the stool gave way under me. I was drenched in Mojito and a bunch of spring breakers laughed at me, making fat jokes. I spent the rest of the day crying in the cabana. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 515

You deserved it 209

Better safe than doggy

By poongoon - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, while at the supermarket, I came back to one of my car windows smashed in. Apparently, the stuffed animal my son left in the back seat looks like a dehydrated dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 794

You deserved it 927

NO RAGRETS

By Anonymous - 20/03/2022 18:00

Today, my wife, a married mum of three boys, with a full time job, and a mortgage, burst into tears because, “Five minutes ago I was 20 years-old, getting high and drunk, with oodles of money” and, “What the hell happened to my life?” Gee, I never knew I ruined her life so much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 306

You deserved it 364

Ironic

By Anonymous - 20/03/2022 16:00

Today, my dad yelled at me for using legal marijuana to help treat my potentially terminal cancer, which is kind of hypocritical for the man who spent significant portions of my childhood in jail for selling cocaine to rich high school kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 268

You deserved it 110

Dense

By Anonymous - 20/03/2022 14:00

Today, I tried to explain to my son that a 10.5lb baby can’t be born after only 6 months of pregnancy, and when he didn’t get that massive hint, I had to outright tell him his girlfriend must've already been 3 months pregnant when they met, and lied to him. I’ve raised an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 882

You deserved it 226

Plagued

By Anonymous - 20/03/2022 12:00

Today, I just moved into my second apartment after the first one was infested with fruit flies, which were coming out of cracks in the floor. We discovered they had tried to cover this fact up so we'd move in. Guess what this new one has? Bed bugs. I asked if there was a history of bug problems and they said no. Lies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 240

You deserved it 118

Classic TSA FML

By Anonymous - 20/03/2022 09:59

Today, out of my mom, dad, and my siblings, I was the only one selected for a “random” extra check at the airport. My parents are English and my siblings were adopted from France and Scotland, and are all white. My bio parents were Pakistani, and I'm nutbrown and I was the only “random” search. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 359

You deserved it 224

It's all downhill from here

By hifhfan - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, I entered my late twenties. My hair's falling out and I'm putting on weight at light speed. At least I can keep my youthful appearance with the acne I still suffer from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 457

You deserved it 5 185

He studied the blade

By Anonymous - 20/03/2022 05:59

Today, I dropped and snapped a carving knife that’s been in my girlfriend's family for generations, and is used to carve the meat every Christmas. I'm a huge coward, so I hid it back in its box but when it gets taken out again Christmas Day 2022, I think I’m a dead man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 1 475

Adopt, don't shop

By Dognapped - 20/03/2022 04:00

Today, I went to pick up my dog from a friend's place since she agreed to watch him while I went out of state for Spring Break. I arrived at her apartment. She’s gone and the apartment was vacated. She won’t answer her phone or texts, and vanished from all social media. I’m still making payments on the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 621

You deserved it 320

Living in a cartoon

By Anonymous - 20/03/2022 02:00

Today, my first day on underground water pipes, we had to clear a blockage that cut off water to an entire street. Whatever the block was, it came free so fast the released water created a geyser 30 feet in the air. I got hit by it and made it about 10 feet in the air before I hit a parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 233

You deserved it 108

Mommy's boy

By Anonymous - 19/03/2022 22:00

Today, after I've spent years cultivating my reputation at work as a hardass who's good to his team, as long as they're competent and own up to mistakes, my mother came as a customer and suddenly I'm a kid all over again. She even tried to pat my head and ask if I'm eating enough. Now my team all keep smirking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 306

Freakout

By itssdianaa - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was home alone, and I thought I heard someone breaking in through the side gate at my house. I was terrified, so I called the police. It turned out it was the gas company checking the meter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 242

You deserved it 28 318

No, you don't

By Anonymous - 19/03/2022 13:00 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, I found actual poop inside the washing machine. Gotta love roommates… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002

You deserved it 102

Bodyshaming king

By Anonymous - 19/03/2022 10:00 - United States - Little Rock

Today, it's my sixth month of working out 5 days a week, watching what I eat while my family eats like kings, and only losing 2lbs. It's also the day husband said he misses my 20 year-old body and no longer finds me attractive, but that's okay because he "loves me anyways and it's good to know where we stand." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 165

You deserved it 174

Go to school!

By emilee - 19/03/2022 14:00

Today, I told my dad I wasn’t feeling well, to which his response was to interrupt me and say, “Nope. Not buying it.” I have never faked an illness in my life, and this time I vomited in front of my entire class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 072

You deserved it 109

Send help!

By Anonymous - 19/03/2022 10:00

Today, it's my fifth month with my grandmother-in-law living with me and my partner. She's the most toxic, manipulative person I've ever met in my life. I have no idea when she's leaving. I literally run into rooms when I hear her coming downstairs so I don't have to talk to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 019

You deserved it 147

Where's all the hot dudes?

By sad - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, after the firetruck and EMS came to my house for an emergency, I realized that not all firefighters looked like the ones in my calendar. This depressed me more than the emergency. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 008

You deserved it 44 233

That stinks

By help me - 19/03/2022 16:00 - Australia - Surry Hills

Today, I’m stuck in a small office with a colleague with one of the worst cases of BO I’ve ever come across. He has already been spoken to about it, and I’m developing a nauseous headache from the stench. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 75

Controlling

By Anonymous - 19/03/2022 04:00

Today, I caught my mom in the back row of one of my lectures, so I confronted her. Apparently she’s been doing this all year to make sure I’m paying attention in class and not making friends with the "wrong sort of people" (yes, she's a racist as well). I can't wait to move out of her house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 420

You deserved it 150

The more you learn

By Anonymous - 19/03/2022 00:01

Today, I learned why my boyfriend always jokes that I'm 'autistic'. I thought it was just a strange inside joke. Turns out that he truly believes I'm a part of the 'special-education' community. Even worse, after a fair amount of research, I'm convinced he's right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 292

You deserved it 315

Grind Mindset is a lifestyle

By Anonymous - 18/03/2022 22:00 - Germany - Zittau

Today, my boss took back the raise he promised me, because I'm “not as resilient as I made him believe.” Well yes, I had the audacity to get sick at an inconvenient time for the company, and I am hardly able to leave my bed, let alone work. Which is apparently due to a “lack of positive mindset.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 193

You deserved it 117

PTSD

By cougar26 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Pullman

Today, my boss had a breakdown and sent me home early. Apparently my voice reminds him of his abusive stepfather. He said I'm lucky he's on medication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 729

You deserved it 1 576

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I opened the bathroom door and it broke my wife’s little toe. As revenge, she ruined the ending of Assassin's Creed that she had gotten me for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 489

You deserved it 675

Today, during my first man-to-man conversation with my girlfriend's father, he decided to mention the details of lion mating patterns he'd once witnessed. After a lengthy description of the lion's barbed penis, he said, "It also made me feel better about myself that I could last longer than a lion." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 394

You deserved it 2 735

Today, my boss emailed everyone in the company, thanking us for record sales. As a result, all of us are getting bonuses. The staff responded with how thankful they were. I chimed in, using A.I.'s Chat GPT. It was perfect. My boss responded, "Did you just use Chat GPT?" then put me on blast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 1 219

Today, I had to explain to someone that all beverages, except plain water, actually have calories. They weren't too happy that their milkshake diet was over before it began. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 998

You deserved it 2 380

Today, I'm pretty sure my sister is being catfished. Now I have the choice of either telling her and risking her staying with her abusive husband or letting her think her new "boyfriend" is a good guy who didn't just "accidentally" send me a shower picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 025

You deserved it 895

Today, I went to see a movie. While buying tickets, the girl behind the counter asked to show my ID card to proof I'm at least 16 years old. Not wanting to make a drama, I showed it. She took a look at it and declared it as fake. That ID is real and I'm 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 056

You deserved it 3 345