Return to sender

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML

Threat Neutralized

Today, I farted so loudly in my sleep that it woke myself, my husband, and our cat. The cat let me know he was startled by clawing and biting the perceived threat, my bum. FML

Today, I let out the most vile, nose-melting dairy curdling fart of my life. The sound didn’t wake me up. But the nightmare I had from how rank smelling it was sure did. My own fart ruined my sleep. FML

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night choking and had to open my bedroom window. No, it wasn’t a gas leak. My husband had a curry last night and his constant farting was so bad I was struggling to breathe. FML

Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML

Today, I woke up at 7am next to the man I swore I'd never get intimate with again. After trying to get back to sleep despite my shame and disgust, he ripped the loudest fart ever. FML

Classic mistake

Today, I woke up from a dead sleep needing to fart. The second I tried to push it out, I realized it wasn't wasn't fart. FML

Dinnertime

Today, the smell of my own fart made me feel hungry. FML

Alarm

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML