Today, I have a job but can't be hired due to technical issues. This means that I'm technically not getting paid yet for the work I do. FML

Today, my 3-year-old son decided to pull down his pants and pee outside as our local city's parade had just started marching down the street. FML

by sayroshi / 06/30/2016 at 2:29pm / United States / Kids

Today, while I was riding the bus to work, I noticed the guy sitting across from me had shorts on. He also had no underwear on and I could fully see his "parts" just hanging there. I decided to switch seats but as I stood up to move, the bus jerked. I fell face forward right into his "parts". FML

by Justme / 06/30/2016 at 2:20pm / United States (Montana) / Transportation

nesteremily's comment : "And that, kids, is how I met your grandfather!"

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Today, my father got out of rehab for his alcoholism. This would be great if he hadn't started drinking the moment he got home. FML

by anon / 06/30/2016 at 1:33pm / United Kingdom (Aberdeen City) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my new job, a coworker offered to help me mop the floors since she wasn't busy. I ended up getting written up by my boss for supposedly being too lazy and making other people finish my work. FML

by buggyluv / 06/30/2016 at 11:50am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I am one year away from getting a university degree. Unfortunately, my parents just kicked me out because I wouldn't drop out and work for free at our family's gas station. I'm now broke, homeless and have no way to pay for school. FML

by Anonymous / 06/30/2016 at 10:14am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

StormfrontX33's comment : Try to fill out a fafsa and at the very least take out a few loans. You can pay for your classes and use the rest to get temporarily situated. Don't give up. Only one year to go.

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Today, my roommate and I were watching TV, and he ordered a pizza. After it was delivered, I took a slice. He yelled at me for taking his food and told me to stop mooching off him. I had to cover his rent last month and he still hasn't paid me back. FML

by Theguyinthedark / 06/30/2016 at 9:23am / Bangladesh / Money

trucker2's comment : Remind him of the rent situation....and help yourself to another slice....

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Today, I went out for drinks to mark the end of my current job. I invited all my colleagues to join me so I could say goodbye to them all. I even changed the date to a day that suited more people and the location to a place I knew they all preferred. Only one person showed up. FML

Today, I forgot my headphones at home. When I got to work I found out that today was also the day the band next door had decided to practice their only song for 8 hours. FML

by shit Music / 06/30/2016 at 3:32am / Slovenia (Ljubljana) / Work

Today, I went to work using the train. While on the train, I fell asleep. I woke up 130km late. FML

by Code_Skull / 06/30/2016 at 2:53am / Netherlands (Zeeland) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had a date with a guy. We ran into our gay friend at the theater, who insisted on coming along. My date was pissed, but I couldn't turn our friend away. Afterwards, my date texted our friend, mad because he crashed the date. Turns out he isn't gay. And only crashed it because he likes me. FML

by ThirdWheelHell / 06/30/2016 at 2:07am / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I was out horse riding. Some say that riding isn’t a sport, but I can swear that chasing after a horse that has just thrown you off is really tiring! FML

by elfevsnain / 04/29/2013 at 3:09am / Tunisia

Today, I was started my week of camping alone in the woods. I took my shoes off to go to sleep, but I had to come out to get water. I stepped on a wasp, and while I was standing on one foot looking at the sting, I realized I was in an ant pile. I'm allergic to both. FML

by anonymous / 06/30/2016 at 1:27am / United States (Texas) / Health