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Man or woman?

Today, I can't decide what's worse: the fact that my mother found my vibrator or that, as a prank, she replaced it with a realistic tarantula replica. She won't tell me where it is. FML

#21351119
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26653) - you deserved it (4185)

On 02/06/2015 at 7:57pm - misc - by go fuck myself - United States (Florida)

Jasim's comment : Your mom had a great sense of humor. And your vibrator.

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Today, I experienced the horror of walking in on my best friend fondling his tits. Yes, "his". FML

#21351065
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27202) - you deserved it (2731)

On 02/06/2015 at 6:00pm - misc - by barf (woman) - Ireland

WCARlover's comment : Hmm a case with an independent man who don't need no woman apparently..

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Today, my girlfriend tried to justify having a one night stand with some other guy, with the words, "I'm on my period, okay?!" She acted like I was crazy when I asked how the fuck that made any sense. FML

#21350975
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32332) - you deserved it (2092)

On 02/06/2015 at 3:10pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

PANDORUM89's comment : as a girl I don't even understand this. I've been on my period for awhile now and not once has it caused me to have a one night stand

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Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML

#21350938
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27947) - you deserved it (2534)

On 02/06/2015 at 1:51pm - misc - by valarmorgoolies (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while in the waiting room at the dentist's, some kids were running and screaming. One of them stopped right beside me, turned to face me, and threw up in my lap. FML

#21350906
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31945) - you deserved it (2064)

On 02/06/2015 at 12:32pm - health - by alostr1 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML

#21350891
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36753) - you deserved it (2593)

On 02/06/2015 at 11:56am - love - by that guy - United States (California)

Today, after a day, I finally noticed that the toilet paper I'd been using to wipe my butt is actually a roll of paper towel cut in half. My dad thinks that it's a waste of money to buy proper paper. Guess who had to unclog the toilet twice. FML

#21350771
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28564) - you deserved it (2753)

On 02/06/2015 at 3:26am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, in a desperate attempt to get fired, I sent a sexual love letter to my boss. We're going on our first date tomorrow. FML

#21350765
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19757) - you deserved it (35975)

On 02/06/2015 at 3:06am - work - by fucked - Singapore

Today, my 97-pound pitbull wagged and chased his tail while I was being mugged. FML

#21350749
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33632) - you deserved it (3399)

On 02/06/2015 at 2:06am - animals - by ZAnon - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss brought his cat to the office. Despite our no pet policy, I still managed to get the blame when the crazy animal scratched 3 colleagues and peed on the floor after my boss left for bathroom. Apparently I was supposed to be "looking after it". FML

#21350702
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27653) - you deserved it (1901)

On 02/06/2015 at 12:16am - animals - by anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up with my penis taped inside a milk bottle. Yes, I'm as baffled as you are. FML

#21350665
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29183) - you deserved it (4812)

On 02/05/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by Milked Richard (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, in an effort to avoid my school's strict no-gum policy as my teacher made a b-line to me, I swallowed it. By the time the teacher reached me, the gum was on my desk, as well as my breakfast, thanks to my overactive gag reflex. FML

#21350431
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23671) - you deserved it (14160)

On 02/05/2015 at 4:03pm - misc - by gumchuck (woman) - United States (Virginia)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

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