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Today, I found the courage to tell my parents about my boyfriend. They reacted by simply lecturing me for an hour about how much he'll ruin my life and how much they don't like him. They haven't met him yet. FML

#21422783
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25502) - you deserved it (2211)

On 06/08/2015 at 11:08am - love - by howard1954 - United States (California)

Today, my dad told me he had a present for me. It was his tooth, which he had pulled out a few minutes before. FML

#21422763
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22361) - you deserved it (1843)

On 06/08/2015 at 10:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I am going to take a law school test. My Mom told me to relax, so I told her, "I'm better at stressing out, so I have something to fall back on if I bomb the test." To which she replied, "And masturbating, you've always excelled at that." FML

#21422751
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24190) - you deserved it (4123)

On 06/08/2015 at 9:35am - intimacy - by LZapped (man) - United States (Illinois)

Baustigt's comment : Well, lawyers are generally a bunch of wankers.

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Today, I was excited because a friend had added me to a new Facebook chat consisting of my tight circle of friends from last year's summer camp. I then saw when the chat had been created. They kept me out of the chat for almost an entire year before deciding to add me. FML

Baustigt's comment : Go make your own Facebook chat, and don't allow anyone into it! That'll show them! It'll be just like this time when I was ten and I built a fort and put a sign on saying no-one was allowed to enter. I sat in it all day by myself and my brother was so jealous I assume.

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Today, I went on my very first date. We went out to eat dinner and everything went great! Afterwards, I went to drop him back off at his house. I backed out of his driveway and got stuck in a ditch. His dad had to come out and tow me out. So that's how I met my boyfriend's parents. FML

#21422583
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23790) - you deserved it (3234)

On 06/07/2015 at 11:35pm - love - by firstdategoals - United States

ebonyirony's comment : kind of cute

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Today, the amount of spiders in my house has gotten so bad that it's become routine to shake out any blankets or towels before using them. FML

#21422575
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25683) - you deserved it (3027)

On 06/07/2015 at 11:13pm - animals - by terrified - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out that my husband really thinks onion rings are seafood. He's 36. FML

#21422504
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22759) - you deserved it (2122)

On 06/07/2015 at 8:53pm - misc - by onionrings (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, an old lady in public transport yelled at me and my dog, called me a liar, and threw her grape soda over me because according to her my pet Shiba Inu was actually a fox, and keeping foxes as pets is illegal. FML

#21422437
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25085) - you deserved it (1421)

On 06/07/2015 at 5:48pm - animals - by foxownerapperantly - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, a customer called the Chinese restaurant where I work and complained about her takeout order not including donuts. After informing her that we don't have them, she started to curse at me while citing the website as proof. She thought wontons were synonymous with donuts. FML

Today, I had my first driving lesson. I learned how to be stopped by a cop, who told me what a horrible driver I was. FML

#21422346
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21270) - you deserved it (3344)

On 06/07/2015 at 2:23pm - misc - by unhappy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I left a concert with my drunk mother who had spilled beer all over my shirt. I drove her home and she slept it off. Later, my mom "found" my shirt in the laundry and grounded me for drinking behind her back. She won't believe me that it was her. FML

#21422282
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24557) - you deserved it (1396)

On 06/07/2015 at 11:46am - misc - by MagnusDeus - United States (California)

Today, I found my boyfriend and his friends laughing hysterically and practically choking on popcorn. They were watching a video of me in a school play, trying to sing while sobbing because I'd just pissed my pants in front of 200 people. Thanks for giving him the video, mom. FML

#21422192
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30161) - you deserved it (2227)

On 06/07/2015 at 5:46am - misc - by .......... (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I tried talking to my wife about our sexless marriage. Her only response was to toss me a sock and say "Knock yourself out, fuckstick." FML

#21422165
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28072) - you deserved it (3126)

On 06/07/2015 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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