Today, I lost my job to the individual I just finished training. Within 2 hours after being escorted out, my old boss called and yelled at me for doing a lousy job. He was angry that the training was deficient and because the new person is as bad as I was. FML
WCARlover's comment : Well they shouldn't expect good training from someone they don't think is a good employee. No offense, OP.
Today, I woke up to my husband chuckling. When I asked him what was so funny. He told me that during the night I attempted to shove one of the kids' pacifiers in his mouth. I don't remember this, at all. He thinks it's hysterical. I'm not sure what to think. FML
by Binkplugged / 07/05/2016 at 2:01pm / Miscellaneous
Today, while at school, some jerk shot me in the foot with a BB gun. While in agonizing pain, I yelled, "FUCK" as loud as possible. A teacher walked by, oblivious to the fact I had just been shot with a BB gun and wrote me up for, "Disrespectful language". FML
Idiotskillme's comment : Not sure where you live OP, but if you live in the US, that kid could get into serious trouble bringing one of those into school. If you know the kid report him to school security and he should be at least suspended for a while, if not, he'll be dealing with the police.
by itchtoscratch / 07/04/2016 at 12:14am / Intimacy
kusje's comment : Do something about it. Yes, it's that easy.
Today, after months of planning and saving for our honeymoon in Italy, my wife and I were turned away at the airport because my passport only has a month until it expires, even though it's only a five-day trip. FML
Today, I went to the store, but after I'd selected my items, I saw that I'd forgotten my wallet. When I tried to explain to the cashier, he thought that I was trying to steal and called the cops. My roommate had to come to the store to save me. FML
by so_this_is_me / 06/30/2016 at 2:21pm / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my last day at my job. My team made a little party for me so they could wish me well and say goodbye, but when it came time for my manager to give a little speech, she couldn't even remember my name. I've been working there for two years. FML
Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of my grandfather's funeral and my cousin started cracking up. It caused a chain reaction of laughter throughout all of the other cousins and my siblings. Now my aunts won't speak to any of us. FML
by sillymink / 08/19/2016 at 10:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by CyberPsycho / 08/19/2016 at 4:57pm / United States (Tennessee) / Health
by You're Not a Wizard / 06/30/2016 at 8:29am / Work