The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

A rock and a hard place

By Anonymous - 27/01/2025 06:00 - United States - Orange Park

Today, I’ve been having an affair with my cousin’s husband for the last 16 years. For 3-ish months, when my husband gets drunk, he accuses us of cheating & threatens to tell everyone. Sober, he remembers nothing. We are constantly worried he will tell but are too in love to end it. Both in bad marriages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 1 906

Snitch

By Anonymous - 15/05/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, as revenge for not buying her a new iPhone, my twelve-year-old daughter told her father that my boyfriend, who just moved in with us, is on the sex offender list. My ex turned my boyfriend into the cops and his parole could be revoked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 1 766

Not woke

By Anonymous - 15/08/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my phone alarm blaring at full volume. I grabbed it to hit snooze, but in my half-asleep state, I accidentally threw it across the room. It hit the wall, bounced off, and landed in my fish tank. My fish is fine. My phone is not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 571

Average Slowdive gig

By Vladymyr - 29/05/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I met in person a girl I’ve been talking to on Facebook Messenger. We went to a concert of a group we both like, then dinner, and had lots of fun. At the end of the night I realized she’s amazing as hell, and I’ve fallen in love. Our compatibility is unmatched. The problem is that I have a girlfriend of 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 1 505

Oh wow, that's rude

By Nena - 26/12/2025 03:00

Today, I posted a meme on Facebook that said, “Dear Santa, I want a man who’s at least 6ft tall, abs, can plan dates, texts back, has a job and a car.” A friend of mine commented, “Dear Santa, I want a girl under 150lbs, no kids, no emotional baggage, self sufficient and doesn’t bitch 24/7.” His comment got 25 likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 732

Why me?

By Irenne - 26/11/2025 03:00

Today, the coworker I like reported me to HR for "sexual harassment." All I did was make him lunch every day, give him 'just because' gifts, and compliment him in a non-sexual way. It sure isn't "sexual harassment" when another coworker of ours does the exact same things; in fact, he praises it and acts indifferent to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 853

Perfect 10

By Anonymous - 20/08/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I was alone at work after everyone had gone home and started practicing my "cool" walk for a date I was going on after leaving the office. As I was strutting around, the doors of a conference room opened to a group of my coworkers, including my boss. They hadn't all gone home, and they'd seen everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 610

Shady

By Anonymous - 03/09/2024 20:00 - Sweden

Today, after I ordered a pair of "one size fits all" leggings from a sketchy online store, they arrived. I eagerly tried them on only to discover they fit… but only one leg. Now, I’m stuck with what looks like a bizarre spandex leg warmer. The company doesn’t accept returns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 512

Nice try

By Anonymous - 14/09/2023 14:00

Today, I fed my husband a vegan beef burger so I could show him that it tastes exactly the same when he didn’t notice. He noticed on the first bite and spat it across the kitchen because he thought the meat had expired before I cooked it, and tasted disgusting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 1 878

Snoopy

By No way - 16/07/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom - Bradford

Today, I liked one of my crush’s Instagram post from 2012 while stalking his profile. Despite me realising my mistake and un-liking the post, he immediately followed me back, and sent me a DM saying, “Wow, that’s some deep digging.” I’m now referred to as his "creepy stalker archaeologist of Instagram." FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 551

Hyperfocused

By Anonymous - 23/11/2023 12:00 - United States

Today, I set out to organize my media files over several old hard drives, but I got so engrossed in creating intricate folders and subfolders that I forgot what I was organizing in the first place. My computer is now a labyrinth of folders titled "Stuff," "Things," and "What is this even?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 555

I'll do anything

By Lili - 06/03/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I texted my best friend, “Good luck with your date tonight! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” She replied, "Thanks! I’ll try not to, but to be honest, that’s not saying much." I meant it as a joke, but she had no idea what I meant. It seems that I accidentally implied I’m a bad influence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 395

I know where I'm going

By Anonymous - 18/11/2023 10:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a hiking date with my significant other. Trying to be adventurous and assertive, I suggested we take a shortcut through the woods. We got hopelessly lost and ended up spending the night in a deserted ranger station. Turns out, my idea of adventure is not quite as romantic as it sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 696

Treasure hunt

By Klarissa - 18/09/2024 09:00 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I told my roommate that I was trying to lose weight, so she kindly removed all the junk food from the kitchen. I just found it all hidden under her bed. Apparently, she didn’t trust me enough to resist temptation, and she was absolutely correct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 690

Hangry

By Anonymous - 08/03/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was starving and ordered pizza. They said it would take 30 minutes. When it arrived an hour later, I was so hangry, I didn’t even wait for the delivery guy to leave. I grabbed the pizza box, ripped it open, and immediately dropped it face-down onto the ground. I ended up eating a slice of cold, dirt-covered pizza like a sad, defeated animal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 697

Watch people poop

By Anonymous - 28/07/2025 09:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I decided to fix my squeaky door by following a DIY YouTube video, because the noise was really annoying. I took the entire door off its hinges... and couldn’t get it back on. I had door-less bathroom and my roommates had many questions before actually asking if they could help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 467

Tangled web

By Anonymous - 27/10/2023 10:00

Today, I realized that I might be falling for a girl. She's fucking beautiful. She can't love me, I'm not good enough for her, and she's in love with someone else. Besides, I have a girlfriend but it never seems like we're close and I don't even know if I had a crush on her before, but I still love her as a friend and can't break her heart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 786

Alpha top dog

By Anonymous - 22/12/2025 03:00

Today, I was meeting my daughter's boyfriend and I joked I’d have to show him who was boss around here (my wife, without a doubt) but as a 5”8 man I have no idea how to intimidate a 6”11, 20 year-old who looks like he was born in a gym. My wife won’t stop laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 437

Isn't that, like, a crime?

By Dan - 22/09/2024 14:00 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, while swimming in a lake, I was feeling frisky so I dropped my swimsuit and went underwater and masturbated. After I came, I resurfaced and saw two girls giggling. With their goggles they'd seen the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 899

Snuggle

By Anonymous - 22/09/2025 03:00

Today, I wanted to surprise my partner by leaving a love letter on his car's windshield while he was at work. He texted me later saying, “You know you left that on my coworker’s car, right?” Now some stranger thinks I want to “snuggle forever.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 397

Disconnect

By Sad vegan girl - 15/08/2025 03:00 - United States - New York

Today, I told my younger sister that meat comes from cute animals like chickens and cows, hoping she'd want to be vegan like me. Instead, she laughed and made up a song about how chickens turn into tenders and cows turn into cheeseburgers. I ended up being the one who got upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 1 287

Dipping out

By Anonymous - 13/01/2025 03:00 - Australia

Today, I was trying to sneak a nap at work by lying on my desk with my arms over my head, hoping my computer screen would cover me. I woke up to find my coworker had taped a sign on the back of my screen that said, "I’m not sleeping, I'm just buffering." Pictures were taken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 661

Explain yourself

By Poop Boy 416 - 06/11/2022 10:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I forgot to clean up poop before a home inspection, so the inspector questioned me on why I had dried shit sitting on a table, with flies all over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 2 074

If I could turn back time…

By Anonymous - 15/02/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I got caught checking out my porn collection while working. The embarrassment is compounded by the fact that I work from home, and I only flashed the folder on screen, but it was enough for coworkers to notice and now call me "King Dong". FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 702

When you're a hammer…

By Anonymous - 09/11/2025 03:00

Today, my boyfriend, a blacksmith, said he needed a break because he had a terrible thumping pain in his anvil. It took me way too long to realise what he’d said and that he was taking the piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 259

Decorum and etiquette

By Anonymous - 11/12/2025 12:00

Today. I used the restroom at the mall. After I wiped, I went to toss the paper into the toilet. I missed horribly. The wad of TP with poop on it landed on the floor of the next stall. It was occupied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 488

Single dad struggles

By Just kids being kids - 02/12/2025 12:00

Today, I lost yet another girlfriend because of my kids’ behavior. The last one told me, “I’d rather get fisted by Freddy Krueger than deal with those hellspawn of yours!” At this point, I’m going to be a single dad forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 649

Romcom vibes

By Depresso-espresso - 08/11/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I visited the best cafe for the fourth time in a week. I’ve tried not to flirt with the same (hot) barista, I even mentioned my partner, but we chat and joke every time, and get on well. After I said bye and left, I heard a hasty, “Love you, bye.” It's maybe a joke, but he’s a total catch, and I don't know if I can go back there now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 509

Blood, water, all that stuff

By Anonymous - 04/07/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, despite the fact that he knows I need help, my recently turned 18 year-old son found an apartment and moved out, leaving me alone with my three toddlers. When I asked what I’m supposed to do for childcare, he just said, “Not my kids, not my problem. Ask their dads. Bye.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 2 867

Roomba shuffle

By Anonymous - 17/05/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I came home to shredded tissues all over the floor. I yelled at my dog, who looked guilty but confused. Turns out, it wasn’t him, it was my robot vacuum cleaner again. It had sucked up a bunch of tissues and napkins from under the couch and then spread them all over the place like confetti. I owe my dog an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 520

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The Top

Today, the guy I thought I was gonna marry left me for another woman. I want to jump off my apartment building, but I’m too much of a wimp to even do it. Now, I get to live the rest of my life wallowing in sadness, while he gives his new girl the happiness I once had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 304

Today, my boss announced that instead of holiday bonuses being on the cards, the company is going under and we'll all be out of a job next year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 700

You deserved it 2 275

Today, I decided to start jogging and exercising, so I had a wonderful workout before work. Then I broke my foot at work. Goodbye exercising. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 158

You deserved it 2 530

Today, I was in the shower with my boyfriend, and things started to get heated. That's where it all went to hell; I slipped and fell, bringing down with me the curtain and grooming products, and putting my back out. There goes my sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 482

You deserved it 7 426

Today, I changed the C on my report card into a B so that I wouldn't get in trouble with my parents. I spent the entire day perfecting the B's positioning and cut exactly around the edges of the size 10 font and sliced my finger in the process. Turns out, I'm still grounded for getting a B. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 375

You deserved it 40 367

Today, my hours at work were slashed due to company wide cut backs. The only coworker unaffected was the asshat who stole my promotion after I'd trained them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 812

You deserved it 225