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The all-time greatest FMLs

Red flag

By Anonymous - 11/10/2024 10:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, I explained to my husband how much it bothers me when he constantly talks about one of his coworkers. He listened closely, never interrupted me, and seemed genuinely sorry afterwards. While he was consoling me and telling me that he'll stop, he called me by her name… three different times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 70

Everyone's a critic

By Ouch - 23/04/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I'm extremely disabled and by all means terrible at drawing, but I tried anyway. Sure enough, my drawings looked like shit, but I still took pride in them. That is, until my brother looked at one of them and said, "Wow! That's awful!" Thanks for pointing that out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 142

Sensitive

By Anonymous - 19/02/2024 08:00

Today, even though I told my son I had vegan burgers for him, he brought enough vegan food for everyone at a barbecue, and tried to get everyone to try it. Not one person ate a damn bit of it, and he’s now crying, all while blocking our drive with his car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 241

Classic

By Anonymous - 11/03/2021 16:30 - United States - Enterprise

Today, I ordered a large stuffed crust supreme pizza for myself. When I picked it up, I asked for extra plates and napkins so the cashier wouldn't know I don't have any friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 582

See you in court

By Anonymous - 19/01/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend had always told me that his mom was dead. Apparently he just meant she’s dead to him. She’s actually a con artist. I just met her for the first time, after learning she impersonated me, stole my savings, ran up credit card debt, and bought 3 cars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 85

Tantrum

By Gloria - 25/06/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, my daughter asked me for permission to go to her boyfriend’s studio apartment without any supervision to “watch a soccer game and eat pizza.” I said no because she thinks I was born yesterday. She proceeded to throw a tantrum and told me that she hopes my breast cancer kills me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 222

Slacker

By Anonymous - 04/09/2023 10:00 - Germany

Today, my boyfriend has a freezer full of his favorite dish, which I cooked for him, yet he is subsisting on chocolate and those pathetic ready-made sandwiches from the supermarket. Why? Thawing and heating up a meal is too much trouble when I’m not there to do it for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 210

Man caver

By Anonymous - 04/05/2023 18:00

Today, my wife screamed, cried, called me lazy and a bad parent, and threatened to leave and take our four kids. All I did was ask for an hour to myself every day for some private time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 1 311

Mysterious

By Anonymous - 29/03/2023 22:00

Today, I woke up with severe back pain and about $100 missing from my paycheck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 159

Brain fart

By Emmz91 - 06/09/2019 16:00

Today, I couldn't open my car door from the inside. I rang my father-in-law in a panic and he opened it from the outside for me. Then he asked why I just didn't roll down the window and do it myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 1 733

This is going to suck

By Anonymous - 08/09/2023 00:02

Today, I unwillingly transferred to a private from a public school this year, due to my parent's rampant political beliefs. Some of the popular girls I went to school with in elementary school also attend this school. I smiled at one of them in the hallway when I saw them this morning. She saw me and rolled her eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 161

Dude, were you just in a McDonald's?

By Anonymous - 25/12/2022 15:00

Today, it started off as a good day, until my guy friend called me in the middle of me turning my vibrator on. He was crying so I couldn’t finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 854

By TugcezafeR - 13/05/2013 10:50 - Mexico - Saint-junien

Today, while my Mexican girlfriend was talking to her mother on Skype, I was laying down behind her. I got up from the bed after a while. Her mother panics, screams and ends up fainting. She thought I was a burglar about to hurt her daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 60

Cry for help

By Why me tho - 14/07/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, my coworker overheard our boss saying that she wanted to punch him in the face. After he tore into her about it and announced his immediate departure, they both started ranting to me, trying to make me take sides on the issue. I don't want to get fired, but I also don't want to make him mad. Help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 117

Merry Christmas!

By Anonymous - 29/12/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, after mom and dad divorced, remarried people who already had kids, then had more kids, I have 3 siblings, 5 half-siblings, and 3 step-siblings. The reason I’m telling you this is because this Christmas I apparently got lost in the crowd and both mom and dad forgot to buy me a gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 84

Kitchen Nightmares

By Anonymous - 20/06/2022 00:00 - Germany - Moormerland

Today, I made huge pot of curry, adhering almost exactly to my proven and delicious recipe. It tasted completely bland, even with all the spices. I kept adding salt, until it tasted bland and oversalted at the same time. I think either the salt is broken or my taste buds are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 812

Alexa, play "I'm Not In Love" by 10CC

By sucker - 07/09/2019 17:01 - United States - Duluth

Today, I went on a date I was really enjoying. My ex-boyfriend called halfway through. When I answered, he told me he wanted to get back together and couldn’t stop thinking about me. I didn’t realize my phone was on speaker. My date heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 2 578

Caturday surprise

By My cat is special - 12/08/2023 13:00 - United States

Today, as I returned from work, a cat was meowing at me in a bush. I said hi to it and walked inside. Then I noticed one of my cats was nowhere to be found. After a bit of panicking, I finally figured out that cat in the bush was MY cat, and he was meowing because he was stuck. I don't know how he got outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 214

It's all too much

By Anonymous - 25/02/2024 15:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I totaled my car whilst rushing to pick up my son from daycare. This happened as I was leaving the hospital, after dropping off a wheelchair to my recently disabled wife, who is taking care of our newborn in the special care unit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 173

FEED ME, HOOMIN

By My cat is special - 21/04/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, my cat ate the dog's food and is now very sick. For the third time. The first time he did it, I was concerned; second time, I was confused. Now I realize he's just an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 220

I'm watching you

By tappedants - 08/12/2023 23:00 - United States - Sugar Land

Today, my husband has a biker chick Facebook friend and this morning he posted on her page, calling her "the prettiest girl at the barn dance." She's a "friend" of mine as well, so I saw it in my feed. I asked him WTH? He got mad at me, accused me of spying on him, and now won't speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 141

Hope that's in Fahrenheit

By Cooked alive - 25/06/2023 23:00 - United States

Today, for the first time in at least two years, the temperature exceeded 100 degrees in my area. Except this time, it nearly hit 110. Even with my fan and air conditioner on the highest setting, my room was still burning hot. It's currently 11pm and the temperature has gone down… to 81 degrees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 160

Broke

By Anonymous - 26/07/2023 12:00 - United States - Warren

Today, most of the stuff in my house is falling apart due to the fact that I don't have enough money to buy things that last. My lampshades ended up getting torn to shreds when I tried gently dusting them, then the base fell out of my lamp when I went to move it to clean up around it to vacuum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 186

Messy situation

By Need help - 16/11/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, my wife called me at work to yell at me because the house is a mess. She hasn't helped me clean in over two years, and when I ask for help, there's always a new excuse, headache, tired from work, stress, etc. FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 118

Tick tock tick tock

By Anonymous - 12/01/2024 08:00 - Germany

Today, I was just released from hospital after a heart attack. As a 37 year-old woman with healthy habits and no family history of heart issues, the doctors have no idea why it happened. So instead of telling me how to change my lifestyle, they told me to proceed as usual, and hope that it doesn't happen again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 119

Right and wrong

By mig monkey - 09/11/2022 08:00 - United States

Today, I got reamed out because we charged a customer $300 in labor, all because my manager doesn't know anything about how car electrical systems work, and I found the issue in the car about 4 hours before the manager decided he was right about it having a parasitic draw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 98

Tears for Fears

By Mike - 25/03/2021 00:30

Today, I realized that not only do I dream about sleeping or passing out, but that those are the best ones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 101

Infuriating

By Anonymous - 29/11/2024 16:00 - United States - Oceanside

Today, I've been with my girlfriend for almost six years and its been years since we had sex. I’m only 25. I’ve had a lot of urges and every time I’ve tried to start something she brushes it off. It's to the point where every sex scene I see in a movie makes me sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 340

The eternal argument

By Annoyed atheist - 07/05/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, I was watching the episode of New Amsterdam where a man's cancer goes into remission very abruptly. As the doctors wonder how the hell that's possible, my mom says, "God." Okay. So if this "God" controls what happens to your body, why is cancer still a thing? My mom is no longer religious. She's delusional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 305

By Ina - 22/03/2009 09:52 - France

Today, a piece of candy thrown from the top of the Eiffel Tower broke one of the lenses of my glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 41

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The Top

Today, I've been without hot water for three days thanks to a frozen water line. I finally managed to thaw the frozen area, only to have the chunk of ice dislodge, slam into a bend in the pipe, and burst the line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 852

You deserved it 6 078

Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 067

You deserved it 9 638

Today, after getting married recently and my wife making a ton of promises about "things" we'd do, she admitted she won't do any of them and said I should just accept that she lied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 027

You deserved it 753

Today, I received a call from my husband of 10 years from prison. He sobbed on the phone as he explained to me that his anger got the best of him, and couldn’t control himself. He beat the pulp out of a classmate of his for declining a date with him, and sent her to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 411

You deserved it 113

Today, I had a substitute for science and I was standing at the stationary table when some other guy came over and made the thing wobble. The whole thing fell over and I got all the blame. Then I was sitting with my friends at lunch but another friend came back right when my crush was gonna sit next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 150

Today, after months of saying I wanted to kill myself, someone finally reported me. I can't go back to school until I see a therapist who has to approve my going back to school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 802