By Anonymous - 21/11/2020 02:01 - United States - Pittsburgh Alexa, play "Repetition" by The Fall Today, I woke up and realized it's still 2020. It's like Groundhog Day. FML I agree, your life sucks 601 You deserved it 213 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By yulis - United States - Hagerstown Today, I got pulled over on the highway for going over the speed limit. The cop seemed nice, and I was sure he'd let me off with a warning, until my husband piped up with, "Didn't think you folks came out this far. What, the donut store got shut down or some shit?" I got the ticket. FML I agree, your life sucks 51353 You deserved it 7257 95 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By VelocityMary - United States Today, a friend offered to have sex with me, since I'm a 19 year old virgin who's only been kissed. He then added on that I would have to give him my Wii in return. FML I agree, your life sucks 51166 You deserved it 6851 194 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I got diagnosed with stomach ulcers. They are very painful, and I have been throwing up blood. On my latest trip to the toilet, I was heaving and the pain was making me beat the floor with my fist, the toilet lid decided to come crashing down on my head, giving me a minor concussion. FML I agree, your life sucks 36687 You deserved it 3949 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anna L. - United States - San Antonio Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML I agree, your life sucks 36083 You deserved it 6540 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wow - Canada - Edmonton Today, I found out that my husband of 12 years has been sleeping with my best friend of even longer for who knows how long. She actually tried to turn it around on me and implied that it was my fault for finding out about it. FML I agree, your life sucks 62084 You deserved it 3792 117 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MJ3105 - Israel Today, I was eating at a restaurant patio with a few friends. After the waitress cleaned up our table there was a drop of mayonnaise on the table. I wiped it with my finger and licked it. It wasn’t mayo, it was bird shit. FML I agree, your life sucks 37141 You deserved it 152774 231 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By h0308 - United Kingdom Today, I got to work feeling slightly unwell. A couple of hours later, an extremely attractive customer came to my till, at which point my body decided it would be a good idea to vomit last night's dinner all over myself and the customer. FML I agree, your life sucks 40622 You deserved it 4577 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Crash - United States Beep beep Today, I saw a woman still texting on her phone as she started to drive away when the light turned green. I made sure to stare her down and give her a dirty look because she wasn't paying attention to driving. She laughed as I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML I agree, your life sucks 10137 You deserved it 61213 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tryingtohelp - 24/5/2020 20:00 Good samaritan Today, I heard my downstairs neighbor being beaten by her husband. I anonymously called 911, hoping to help. She must've seen me giving the cops my statement because as soon as they left, she knocked on my door and punched me square in the face while screaming, "Mind your own business bitch!" FML I agree, your life sucks 2577 You deserved it 289 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I tried sneaking over to my girlfriends house to be romantic and knocked on her window. She went and got her mother to see who was at the window. FML I agree, your life sucks 17431 You deserved it 23710 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cocoapuffs4life - Canada - Aurora Today, I was told by my manager to make sure the supervisor on shift does his job. Last month I was told I couldn't be a supervisor. Apparently I can supervise someone who earns more than I do though. FML I agree, your life sucks 26534 You deserved it 1712 57 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Ypsilanti Today, I bought professional hair clippers to shave down below, thinking it would be safer than using a razor. Let's just say the bathroom now looks like a murder scene, and it's going to be a while before I have sex again. FML I agree, your life sucks 30590 You deserved it 12587 95 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By JP - Italy Today, I went to the bank to make a withdrawal in order to celebrate my last day here in Italy with my friends. Apparently I'm overdrawn by 187 dollars so I'm eating nothing but leftover stale crackers to survive until I get free plane food on my way back home. FML I agree, your life sucks 14957 You deserved it 47822 119 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By shitface - Australia Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML I agree, your life sucks 33475 You deserved it 3414 144 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Annapolis Today, I pulled a piece of dental floss out of my ass. How it got there is one of life's great mysteries. FML I agree, your life sucks 34292 You deserved it 5035 139 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By poopiemanlol - Canada Today, I realized that you should never teach your 6 year old child how to use the microwave, unless you want to be cleaning melted pet fish for about half an hour. FML I agree, your life sucks 41473 You deserved it 11622 166 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Omega Today, I was sitting outside while my dad was mowing the lawn. He ran over a hornet's nest with several now-angry hornets. He escaped unscathed. I didn't. FML I agree, your life sucks 13716 Phew, glad it wasn't me 1464 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By le_evan - United States - Los Angeles Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML I agree, your life sucks 36280 You deserved it 6653 186 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By opinaise - France - Toulouse Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML I agree, your life sucks 42998 You deserved it 3972 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god - Singapore - Singapore Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML I agree, your life sucks 48600 You deserved it 4820 245 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By BAMashleyx3 Today, my dad texted me while I was in the dentist's chair getting my teeth cleaned. The dental hygienist jumped at the notification sound my phone made and split my gum open. FML I agree, your life sucks 1831 You deserved it 631 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LifeSucks Today, I came home to an empty house. I found a note from my wife telling me she was bisexual and found love in a woman. I FaceTimed my sister to tell her about it, and who do I see with her? My wife. FML I agree, your life sucks 3967 You deserved it 192 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous All true, obviously Today, I found out that my mother-in-law thinks that Trump is the "best man to walk the earth since Jesus," and that he's "fighting the deep state who's in control of the fake news." She tried to indoctrinate me. FML I agree, your life sucks 2180 You deserved it 623 29 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nicknick2 - United States Today, I was at Walmart with my mom, when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML I agree, your life sucks 46950 You deserved it 3892 138 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By TPelekakis - United States - Kingsport Today, I lost the 5 pounds I had gained over the last few weeks. I had vowed to do whatever it took to lose that weight, and I actually did, when I caught a horrible stomach bug. I'd eat my words, but I'm pretty sure I'd just end up throwing them up. FML I agree, your life sucks 11686 You deserved it 1020 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML I agree, your life sucks 39904 You deserved it 3759 64 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By likearacehorse - United States - Franklin Lakes Today, for the second time in two months, the person in the bathroom stall next to me commented on how loud I pee. This time, she made racehorse noises. I'm now too self-conscious to pee in public again. FML I agree, your life sucks 30543 You deserved it 3177 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By silent one - United States Today, I had to stifle a fart so my upstairs neighbors wouldn't hear it. I know this because I frequently hear theirs. FML I agree, your life sucks 27200 You deserved it 2997 89 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jakeeey - Canada - Brampton Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML I agree, your life sucks 40050 You deserved it 10878 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ro - United States Today, my car was stolen. I got it back later without the engine, any of the wheels or my brand new radio and speakers. They even took my car mats. FML I agree, your life sucks 31187 You deserved it 2474 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By minnie - 23/2/2021 04:58 #1 Mom of the Year Today, while trying to walk past my mother in the hallway, I hesitated because she suddenly moved to the side. She screamed at me for a solid five minutes about not being able to "predict her movements." And she wonders why I’m suicidal. FML I agree, your life sucks 964 You deserved it 82 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Kansas City Today, after paying a job coach a load of money for his services, pretty much the only advice he gave me was "Send out more résumés." FML I agree, your life sucks 28125 You deserved it 4973 39 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By horribleawfulnogoodverybadweek Artificial teeth Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over text because she discovered from my mum that my teeth aren't my natural teeth, and she feels disgusted kissing me. FML I agree, your life sucks 2074 You deserved it 160 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By loser weeper - United States - Cape Coral Today, after looking for my phone for three weeks, I used find my iPhone to track it to my sister-in-law's house. Her response? "Finders keepers, losers weepers." FML I agree, your life sucks 2835 You deserved it 253 32 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kate - United States - Concord Today, I watched "Rain Man" with my family. The whole time they kept exclaiming, "Omigod! That's just like Kate!" FML I agree, your life sucks 21166 You deserved it 2861 147 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By psychobunnycutie - 6/4/2021 05:00 Narcissistic parents strike again Today, I got a call from my mom's new husband. It lasted 3 minutes and those 3 minutes were of him telling me how sad I make my mom for just existing, how jealous I make her because I'm living a life she wished she was. Turns out, she told him to call me and say that because I have her blocked. FML I agree, your life sucks 1233 You deserved it 82 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Proof-Reader - United States Nice try Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML I agree, your life sucks 20353 You deserved it 31892 154 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By IsThisRealLife - United Kingdom Today, I woke up with an extremely irritable rash around my crotch. I didn't want to full out itch it by putting my hands down my pants, so I itched it by putting my hand in my pockets. I got kicked off the train for "pleasuring myself in public." FML I agree, your life sucks 22827 You deserved it 5764 60 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Idk - United States - Gainesville Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML I agree, your life sucks 65620 You deserved it 5081 248 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonim23 Today, the spiders in my house are so big that they catch wasps in their webs. FML I agree, your life sucks 1508 You deserved it 214 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By RichardPencil | 30 #7953402 - Saturday 21 November 2020 10:18 And Groundhog's Day is 02/02. 2020 backwards! Coincidence? Hmmmm?!?! Send a private message 6 0 Reply
By Paul Rushing | 21 #7953569 - Sunday 22 November 2020 2:35 Lame... Send a private message 0 3 Reply
By RichardPencil | 30 #7953402 - Saturday 21 November 2020 10:18 And Groundhog's Day is 02/02. 2020 backwards! Coincidence? Hmmmm?!?! Send a private message 6 0 Reply
By Paul Rushing | 21 #7953569 - Sunday 22 November 2020 2:35 Lame... Send a private message 0 3 Reply
Today, I discovered the brand of condoms my parents use. It was in the same grocery bag as my food. FML I agree, your life sucks 296 You deserved it 173 7 Comments
Today, I found out the real reason my boyfriend was terminated from work: for having an inappropriate sexual relationship with a coworker, and not because... I agree, your life sucks 837 You deserved it 49 4 Comments
2020 backwards! Coincidence? Hmmmm?!?!