The Top · The all-time greatest FMLs

Alfonso · 3 August 2022, 14:00 ·Pomona, United States

Where there's a will, there's a way

Today, I got a text from my husband’s adult son offering help. I’ve been my husband’s caretaker for 4 years as he battled Parkinson’s and cancer. His son never called once to offer help; when I asked, he refused. Sadly, my husband passed last month. Now his son is offering help because they can’t find the will. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 320 You deserved it 98

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stupid · 28 May 2022, 06:00

Tipping point

Today, after eating out, my mother asked me to figure out 20 percent of the bill whilst staring daggers at me. I have never been good at math under pressure and especially not percentages, so I told her as such. She called me a complete idiot, to which my father simply said, “I agree.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 320 You deserved it 410

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Cat · 12 April 2019, 18:00 ·Athens, Greece 🌶️ Spicy

Whatsapp? Not much

Today, I was Whatsapping my boyfriend, as I am away for work. Before talking to him, I texted my work group I wasn’t feeling well after they invited me out. As I was chatting with what I thought was my boyfriend, I said, “I want your penis inside me.” And then realized I'd texted my work group. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 320 You deserved it 3 803

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Anonymous · 7 June 2021, 17:00

How d'you think I look so good?

Today, I got home and my wife asked me to help yell at the kids for ruining over £1000 of her makeup supplies. I did an almost double take at the fact I had no idea she had spent over £1000 just on makeup. No wonder we’re always broke the end of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 320 You deserved it 240

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Anonymous · 24 July 2021, 22:01 ·Steele, United States

Sensory overload

Today, I visited my brother, and noticed that my 17 year-old nephew was being unusually cold and grumpy; a sign that he's having sensory overload. Because his parents are so loud, I knew they were responsible. When I confronted them, they responded by yelling at me and grounding him. Sorry, nephew, I tried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 320 You deserved it 194

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Doomed · 24 July 2021, 14:02 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

Revenge is sweet yogurt

Today, my coworker made up a story about me “sexually harassing” her and filed a complaint to my boss. All because I took the last plastic spoon from the breakroom, and she couldn’t eat her yogurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 320 You deserved it 99

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grieving · 5 July 2021, 18:01 ·Australia

Today, on Judge Judy…

Today, my grandpa died suddenly. About a month ago, he gifted me a few thousand dollars to buy a used car. My uncle is now demanding I return it, saying I can't prove that my grandfather agreed to it, and that he wants his rightful share of the inheritance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 320 You deserved it 73

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Pirated booty · 11 May 2021, 04:01

Movie worthy

Today, after I found gold coins a few years ago, nothing newsworthy but enough to pay off my parents' mortgage, some landowning douche, who is already a millionaire, is now claiming the lake where I found the coins is his, and is suing me for the coins' full value. If I lose in court, my parents may have to sell their house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 320 You deserved it 119

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Anonymous · 14 March 2023, 18:00 ·Tatum, United States

Inheritance issues

Today, my 16 year-old son has to sue his great uncle and step aunt for theft and extortion of his father's estate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 320 You deserved it 97

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4.0delinquent · 26 January 2022, 02:01 ·Chicago, United States

Who am I?

Today, I was kicked out of college for not attending a class I wasn't ever enrolled in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 320 You deserved it 128

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oldladiesbecrazy · 3 September 2021, 07:59

Scam artists

Today, in a market, an old lady stood beside me for a few moments, not saying a word, before turning to me and screaming that I'd taken the money out of her purse. Security was called and I was given the ultimatum to either go to jail or give her the money back. Now I have no food for next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 319 You deserved it 145

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UglyLesbo · 21 August 2022, 06:00 🌶️ Spicy

Whatever it takes

Today, I saw the girl I have a crush on holding hands and making out with another girl. When I hinted that I was into girls, in an attempt to ask her out out two months ago, she told me she was “straight as hell” and would “never resort to that disgusting ass lesbo shit.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 319 You deserved it 270

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Anonymous · 1 July 2022, 22:00 🌶️ Spicy

Make it quick

Today, I miss the days when I was younger and my parents used to at least try to hide all the sex they were having. Now I’m all grown up, they just yell out not to come upstairs for at least 30 minutes, and they no longer even attempt to keep the noise down either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 319 You deserved it 521

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Anonymous · 20 September 2021, 20:00 🌶️ Spicy

Thanks, that fixed it

Today, my coworker touched me inappropriately. I reported it to HR, and all they said was, "Do you want to talk to a therapist?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 319 You deserved it 144

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ouch · 25 December 2021, 14:01 🌶️ Spicy

911 is a joke

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and somehow managed to pull a back muscle. I’ve been naked for 3 hours, scared to move because it hurts so bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 319 You deserved it 213

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Anonymous · 29 July 2020, 08:00

Reading comprehension

Today, one of my clients called me, saying that he received my email. When I asked what I could do for him, he replied, “Well, what does the email say?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 319 You deserved it 200

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Anonymous · 3 August 2022, 18:00 🌶️ Spicy

Stop talking, stop talking now

Today, I abandoned my wife at a family party when her sister's husband cornered me and began telling me about his amputee fetish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 319 You deserved it 198

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Anonymous · 20 February 2022, 00:01

Spring break

Today, I'm off work for 4 weeks after trying to move an obese patient from their bed. The poor woman was so large that when we tried to move her the leg of the bed snapped, and her weight drove the sharp broken leg down through my foot into the carpet. Surgery and no walking for 4 weeks. Whoopee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 319 You deserved it 90

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Anonymous · 28 July 2021, 02:01 ·Hot Springs National Park, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Which is worse

Today, I found out that my best friend of 25 years, who doesn't believe that her boyfriend raped me, unfriended me on Nintendo Switch online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 318 You deserved it 183

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Anonymous · 5 July 2022, 00:00

But… the economy!

Today, I found out that my boss was actually legally obligated to send me to the hospital after I was hit on the head while working. I had to finish the entire work day while heavily concussed, and by the time I got to the ER I had lost complete feeling in my right side. They asked me to come in the day after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 318 You deserved it 108

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brendejafulable · 15 August 2020, 14:02

Talk to me

Today, I had a conversation about how my day was, while dreaming. That’s how lonely I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 318 You deserved it 163

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Anonymous · 22 February 2022, 14:00 ·Glasgow, United Kingdom

Drilled

Today, I was having drilling work done on my teeth. My dentist slipped and drilled a hole in my cheek. I said mistakes happen, but that I didn't expect to pay for the work. They still billed me for it and sent me a prescription that I had to go and get (and pay for) in case it got infected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 318 You deserved it 136

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Anonymous · 27 May 2020, 14:00

Scarred

Today, my niece asked why my veins were so close to my skin. She was referring to my stretch marks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 318 You deserved it 183

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sydthekid2000 · 23 March 2020, 20:08

Remember me?

Today, I called my workplace to ask if I was going to be working, and if our store would be open. I was told that yes, we're still open, however, I can order inside, but I can’t sit in the dining room. They thought I was a customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 317 You deserved it 288

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Anonymous · 13 March 2023, 09:00 🌶️ Spicy

50 shades of shit

Today, I got home and I saw my dad come out of the kitchen in a red silk hood. I had no idea what the hell he was doing, until I went inside and heard him upstairs say to mum, “Oh my, Grandma, what a big mouth you have.” Hell of a way to discover your parents like role-play in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 317 You deserved it 263

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vomiting · 7 March 2022, 16:00

Grossed out

Today, my boyfriend took me home to have dinner with his parents. I couldn’t eat a single bite after watching his mom let her three dogs taste all the food off her hands, while she also licked her own fingers while cooking. Later on, he dumped me for being rude and “too high maintenance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 317 You deserved it 158

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sphear880 · 21 May 2021, 19:59

Kids are assholes to each other

Today, I have discovered that my daughter is struggling with anorexia. When I sat down to talk with her about it, she said it’s because, "all the other kids at school keep calling her fat." She was underweight before, and has now gone to being severely underweight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 317 You deserved it 130

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Anonymous · 25 June 2022, 10:00

Not for everyone

Today, and ever since I gave birth to my son, I’ve hated being a mom. I held him, waiting for the rush of love my mom told me I’d feel and… nothing, I was completely emotionless about holding my newborn son and it’s gotten worse. I really hate being a mom, and my husband just does not understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 317 You deserved it 337

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Anonymous · 6 October 2022, 13:30

That ain't it

Today, my tampon leaked right before I had to go to court. I'm the plaintiff and I work for my city, and blood stains isn't a good look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 317 You deserved it 153

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Anonymous · 12 October 2022, 22:00 ·Niagara Falls, Canada 🌶️ Spicy

Bunged up

Today I discovered the hard way that you can rip your own butthole. Not from having sex though, I ripped my own butt because I was constipated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 317 You deserved it 162

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