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Today, I was at a local chinese restaurant with two of my friends. We were laughing hysterically when my friend tells me to stop making her laugh because she was going to puke, naturally I kept egging it on. She puked all over the table and I was laughing so hard that I peed my pants. FML

#4672894
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7752) - you deserved it (55366)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I burned my tongue. With a flat iron. FML

#17544940
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7752) - you deserved it (50088)

On 08/22/2011 at 2:43am - health - by heheheh - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad got me to dance with him. After about a minute of waltzing to a song on the radio, he stepped away and said, "You smell bad. You need to take a shower." FML

#18829568
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7752) - you deserved it (23786)

On 01/16/2012 at 10:16pm - misc - by potatoes - United States (Texas)

Today, my hair straightener broke. My husband suggested putting electrical tape on it because it was heat proof. I did and started straightening my hair. The supposed heat proof tape melted and got stuck in my hair. FML

#20145539
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7747) - you deserved it (27599)

On 11/03/2012 at 9:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my best friend was doing my hair. She got frustrated and exclaimed, "It won't stay!" I replied with, "Just like your mom!" It was then that I remembered her mom had just left her dad and moved out of the house to be with someone else. FML

#13485741
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7745) - you deserved it (50080)

On 10/17/2010 at 1:17pm - misc - by Nobody - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband and I went on vacation. We got lost and had to ask the locals for directions to our hotel. Neither of us could understand their accents, and we ended up wandering around blindly for hours until we made it back on our own. FML

#19578116
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7744) - you deserved it (14727)

On 05/05/2012 at 5:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I got scared by my own leg fat. FML

#19144549
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7743) - you deserved it (25055)

On 02/23/2012 at 6:29am - misc - by wobble... - Australia

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Feeling bad, I texted him a few hours later apologizing. He said it was fine and that he went ahead and picked up a girl from the mall. FML

#14950423
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7741) - you deserved it (32977)

On 02/12/2011 at 2:00pm - love - by grrrr - United States

Today, I got an allergic reaction to Nair. It was so bad I had to have my girlfriend take me to the hospital at 2am. Where was the allergic reaction? On my nuts. FML

#8792170
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7740) - you deserved it (16182)

On 03/03/2010 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I superglued my headphones back together. They weren't dry before I put them back in my ears. FML

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to ride a bike with no training wheels. After comforting her and assuring her that she'd be fine, I gave her a big push. She fell forward over the handlebars and scraped her chin on the front wheel. FML

#20002371
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7732) - you deserved it (19826)

On 08/04/2012 at 3:14pm - kids - by me - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, at work I asked a woman how she was doing. When she replied, I didn't understand her, and instead of asking her what she said, I just replied with, "oh that's good." What she told me that I didn't understand was that her husband had just died. FML

#13383180
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7730) - you deserved it (26610)

On 10/09/2010 at 8:51pm - work - by fistpumpin4life - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had a check-up with my dermatologist. When I took off my pants, she noticed a small mark on my penis and was concerned. I had to inform her that it was not in fact a mole, but a bruise from getting it stuck in a Snapple bottle two days prior to the check-up. FML

#3686221
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7727) - you deserved it (56775)

On 07/12/2009 at 3:07am - health - by Best-stuf-on-Earth (man) - United States (California)



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