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Today, I was watching TV with my mom. The new Trojan Ecstasy condom commercial came on. I sat there awkwardly while my mom pulled out her shopping list. I bet you can guess what she added. FML

#6680888
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20767) - you deserved it (2035)

On 12/09/2009 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by aawkward... (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my girlfriend got a Twitter account. Now she won't stop hashtagging everything she sends me. FML

#19811531
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20766) - you deserved it (2515)

On 06/19/2012 at 5:59am - misc - by Stu (man) - United States

Today, my youngest son had to have stitches in his chin. He did great, I passed out. FML

#7844166
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20765) - you deserved it (6817)

On 02/03/2010 at 11:02am - health - by Sherlock - Sent from mobile version

Today, I cut my nice and tasty home-made sandwich in half to give to a homeless man. He tasted it, pulled an unimpressed face, and then stuck it in his pocket. FML

#496
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20764) - you deserved it (2531)

On 12/11/2008 at 9:30pm - misc - by groom - Sent from mobile version

Today, a student of mine used the phrase "well, you know, like back in your day" about defining "going out". I'm only 24. FML

#1158
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20763) - you deserved it (1812)

On 01/14/2009 at 6:20pm - kids - by Old? - United States (Washington)

Today, my roommate will fall asleep to Muppet Treasure Island. We sleep 3 feet away from each other and he has been doing this since Christmas. FML

#8400903
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20763) - you deserved it (2512)

On 02/18/2010 at 4:48am - misc - by Oze (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my brother thought it would be funny to disable my iPod Touch for 45 minutes. After 45 minutes, I went to enter my password. I missed a number accidentally. 50 minutes to go. FML

#16734083
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20763) - you deserved it (27440)

On 06/18/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by iDisable - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I confessed to my co-worker that I've secretly loved him for months. He laughed hysterically for about a minute straight before shaking his head and excusing himself from the store. Even the fact that my boss fired him for leaving early isn't cheering me up. FML

#19965538
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20761) - you deserved it (3339)

On 07/20/2012 at 9:59pm - love - by Alanis (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when her cat attacked me. I was pissed, so I grabbed the cat and rushed outside to get rid of it. Little did I know, her parents were home, sitting outside. So I was naked, with a feral cat in front of my junk trying to kill me. All I could say was "Nice Weather?" FML

#10761245
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20758) - you deserved it (36507)

On 05/25/2010 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my roommate came out of the bathroom, and asked me how the scales knew her weight in both pounds and kilos, even though "the exchange rate is always changing." I actually live with this idiot. FML

Today, it was the last day of school, and I said goodbye to one of my students. She then told me how to correctly pronounce her name. I'd said it wrong all year. FML

#19741158
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20755) - you deserved it (11724)

On 06/05/2012 at 10:21pm - work - by Mark - United States

Today, I woke up late, didn't shave, didn't have time to iron my clothes, didn't eat breakfast, and ran into the office with beads of sweat running down my face. The meeting had been cancelled. FML

#813
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20754) - you deserved it (2795)

On 01/08/2009 at 2:42am - work - by Poopalipa - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after telling my young kids all about Santa, his reindeer and his sleigh, we saw him. Smoking a cigarette in the beat-up car next to ours at a red light. FML

#20192265
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20754) - you deserved it (3858)

On 12/05/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by JessThompson - Canada (Ontario)



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