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The all-time greatest FMLs

Puppies > Kids

By Anonymous - 09/06/2023 10:00

Today, my husband bought me a puppy. When my daughter got home I showed her the puppy, but all she said was, “Eww, I am not cleaning it or walking it.” She’ll make a fantastic mother one day, I’m sure of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 1 025

How's it going?

By Only me - 10/04/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I was texting my mom about a surprise visit, and autocorrect changed "surprise" to "surgery." I hit send before noticing, and now she thinks I’m planning some major medical procedure, and has been calling me nonstop to check if I’m OK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 119

Pining

By akvan - 06/09/2022 03:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I'm obsessing over finding out anything about my ex. A month ago, I finally deleted his number from my phone, but if I'd known it would just make me start obsessing over him again, then I wouldn't have deleted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 1 211

Trash the lot

By Anonymous - 16/10/2022 16:00

Today, I was sleeping with my girlfriend on my parents' bed naked, just to wake up to find out she got her period, on fresh, new sheets they bought the other day. As I finished scrubbing it and cleaning, she accidentally left a burning cigarette on the sheets so now it has a burn hole too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 2 846

Tick follows tock follows tick…

By Wiseguy - 03/12/2025 00:00

Today, I have reached the point in my life where you wait to see a dentist and get your wisdom teeth ripped out. I was warned about how miserably painful this is. However, no one seems to talk about how slow the time goes by. Tomorrow's the day, and so far today has been the longest day of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 151

Zoom off

By Anonymous - 26/11/2020 07:59

Today, I was caught on a hot mic during a work department meeting complaining about someone using a leaf blower, F-bombs and all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 887

Pizza Time

By FML Videos - 22/10/2018 00:00

That's amore...

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 85

Making Bad Choices

By FML Videos - 11/10/2018 18:30 - United States - New York

Whee!

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 78

It seems like it's only going to get worse

By Kareen N - 02/03/2025 15:00 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I'm suffering with an acute and weird form of misophonia. I get irrationally triggered and angry whenever I hear someone say words and phrases like, "at a level that nobody's ever seen before", "radical left", "like you wouldn't believe", "nobody’s ever seen anything like it", and "drill baby drill." I need professional help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 242

You deserved it 457

The life script

By Anonymous - 07/04/2022 22:00 - United States - Milledgeville

Today, I realized that I wasted my time in college. I'm supposed to graduate next month, and I hate the career I'm going into. I could've focused on recruiting and easily found a job I would enjoy, but I decided to waste my time watching YouTube videos and playing video games that I'm not even good at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 1 555

Foam my life

By Jennie - 05/12/2023 15:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I discovered the office coffee machine had been replaced with a complex espresso maker. I'm so introverted that instead of asking for help, I spent the day googling how to operate it, all to end up with a cup of lukewarm frothed milk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 505

Live a little

By Milly - 17/04/2025 03:00 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I complained to my girlfriends that my husband constantly wants me to explore his disgusting perversions, like making me call him "Daddy" or putting me on a leash. They all started discussing all the nasty things they'd let my husband do, then said he should find a sidepiece who's "less boring." FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 582

Nice catch

By inthesticks - 01/05/2022 05:09

Took, I took my son fishing. We ended the night at the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 57

Good boy

By Anonymous - 23/01/2025 15:00 - Australia

Today, I taught my dog to "give me his paw" as a cute trick. Now he won’t stop doing it. Anytime I try to eat, work, or sit down, I’m ambushed by a very proud dog pawing at my leg for treats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 298

How's the project going?

By Lewis - 11/12/2018 18:00

Fine... I guess?

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 102

By kas - 30/04/2009 17:41 - United States

Today, I was on my way home when I saw a cop hiding behind a Budget truck. I immediately slowed down and prayed that he wouldn't give me a ticket. Then I realized I was walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 349

Humblebrag or what?

By Anonymous - 23/09/2023 08:00 - Canada - Greater Sudbury

Today, I had my third threesome with my fiancée and our friend. We are moving in together and I don't know what to do anymore. I can't stop thinking about her lips against mine, or how she feels when we fuck. I wish I had met her first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 1 053

Crazy stalker vibes

By Why her and not me though - 08/09/2023 06:00

Today, I saw the guy I was seeing four months ago, who lives in another state, hand in hand with a girl at the mall. The same one who told me he "doesn’t do long distance." I went up to them, confronted him about it, and demanded to know why her and not me. He pretended not to know me and threatened to call security. FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 965

Anarchy in the UK

By Anonymous - 23/08/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, a lack of porn is ruining my life. My boyfriend refuses to verify his age for some reason, so now every time he’s horny he pesters me instead of sneaking off to the bathroom. I enjoy sex and porn too, but not three times a day. I’ve got other shit to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 240

You deserved it 286

Goldmining

By Anonymous - 22/09/2021 08:00

Today, about a minute after telling my son not to pick his nose, he caught me picking mine. This has led to a cascade of, "Why should I follow dad's rules when even dad doesn’t follow dad rules?" He now questions everything I tell him, and is breaking every rule in the book to make his point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 240

You deserved it 1 536

A disappointing evening

By Jaxx - 15/03/2023 07:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I went to various attractions in Singapore throughout the day. Then, I visited Singapore Night Safari, a zoo with a theme at night. Besides dozing off throughout the train excursion, my night blindness ultimately prevented me from seeing more than 40% of the creatures. The ticket cost me USD$40. FML

I agree, your life sucks 240

You deserved it 776

Precision Struggles

By FML Videos - 03/11/2018 19:00 - United States - New York

He's got a very... interesting technique.

I agree, your life sucks 240

You deserved it 86

Not cool

By Wet - 21/06/2023 15:00

Today, a woman started breastfeeding her infant in a restaurant. Disgusted, I told her to take it to the bathroom, as I was eating. In response, she squirted me with milk then went back to ignoring me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 240

You deserved it 4 036

The next day hangover

By CantHandleAlcohol - 17/05/2022 18:00 - United States - Loveland

Today, I got drunk enough to do cartwheels at a company party. In a dress. I work in HR, can’t land a cartwheel, or handle my alcohol. FML

I agree, your life sucks 240

You deserved it 1 391

Naughty boy

By At least they think he's cute - 25/05/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I was in an online meeting when my cat decided to say hello. To do this, he walked in front of my screen, completely obscuring it in his fur. He then logged me out of the meeting by walking across the keyboard. Three times. Every time I tried to pick him up to make him stop, he got upset and attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 240

You deserved it 441

A total mess

By Madashell - 25/01/2023 23:00

Today, the colleague who I’ve been secretly fucking told me she was pregnant. She’d lied about being on birth control. She’s mad at me because I told her to get rid of it and is giving me the silent treatment. You know who else is gonna be mad? My wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 240

You deserved it 5 213

Pick me

By rob - 11/12/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, I live in an area and age where girls hang out with party promoters past their mid-20s, who have been texting them since they were in high school. Apparently, these men who get young girls intoxicated are not dangerous people. Yet, these same girls spew the same feminist crap on instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 240

You deserved it 573

Nice break

By Anonymous - 21/11/2023 14:00

Today, my parents went on holiday less than two hours ago. They’re probably still in the airport, and not even on the plane yet. In those two hours I spilled milk on dad's armchair, broke a door handle off a kitchen cupboard, and stepped on and broke the cat's tail so I’m now in the vet's waiting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 240

You deserved it 579

Work husbands and wives…

By Anonymous - 18/08/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, I (35) have a crush on my supervisor (55) [we're both managers). I cannot get my mind off them. They are married and have kids my age. It's not just looks, but how they treat me, feels like they actually respect me, which I don’t feel like people do. I know nothing will happen between us, but can't stop thinking about them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 240

You deserved it 347

Moody git

By Anonymous - 30/11/2025 22:00

Today, trying to be nice, I replaced my husband's old falling apart arm chair with a new one, same brand, same material, same colour, except this one also reclines, has a built in reading light and a USB port to charge his iPad. He prefers his old one and has been in a mood all evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 239

You deserved it 360

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The Top

Today, I found out that apparently the pipes for my toilet were never connected, so anything you flush just falls out onto the basement floor downstairs. I've lived here 4 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 249

You deserved it 2 814

Today, I had to go to court to see whether my driver's license is suspended for an entire year. I woke up early, went to court, and everything went perfectly, with all the charges being dropped. Unfortunately, I then woke up, and am now going to be late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 296

You deserved it 31 582

Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 149

You deserved it 5 140

Today, I travelled to the beach, and I got what I thought was a food crumb in my phone charger port. I poked it around and it was so gross to realize that it was an insect. I removed the bug with a tissue corner, used an old brush to clean the rest up. I panicked and thought it was a bug infestation in my hostel room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249

You deserved it 149

Today, after getting her "out-of-office" email, I realized that my coworker is on vacation this week. We're doing our final presentation for a major project on Thursday, and she hasn't finished her part. I guess I won't be sleeping this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 445

You deserved it 322

Today, I'm stuck with sleeping in the same room as my mother. The problem? Her snores are extremely loud and a full minute long. I'm not kidding, I timed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 850

You deserved it 153