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Today, I was grooming one of my horses, when she stepped on my foot. I yelled and frantically tried to push her away. She turned her head toward me and shifted the rest of her weight onto my foot. I'm in the hospital now. FML

Today, after many years of being single, I finally worked up the courage to ask my coworker out. He said no and gave me "fair warning" that he's going to report me for sexual harassment. FML

#21497440
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23813) - you deserved it (2580)

On 11/27/2015 at 10:52am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML

#15087841
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23812) - you deserved it (44595)

On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, I went to work as a home health-aid, and found out that my client turns his hearing aid off on purpose because he can't stand my voice. FML

#17948621
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23811) - you deserved it (4563)

On 10/10/2011 at 12:13am - work - by melikeyturtles - United States

Today, I was getting ready to go out when I noticed that after several months of annoyance, the faucet stopped dripping. I started to dance around my bathroom when all of a sudden I slipped and hit my head on the sink. The faucet is dripping again. FML

#7034153
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23810) - you deserved it (13952)

On 12/30/2009 at 11:34am - misc - by dripping sink - United States

Today, I spent an hour and a half trying to rid my house of smoke and burnt plastic smell because my little sister didn't know she was supposed to add water in the package of microwaveable mac and cheese. FML

#7235673
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23810) - you deserved it (3087)

On 01/09/2010 at 12:45pm - misc - by Justaddwater - France

Today, my son tried to swat a fly with a hammer. Our apartment walls are now littered with dents and holes. FML

#19581531
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23810) - you deserved it (4514)

On 05/06/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by flustered (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I farted myself awake, in a car full of my boyfriend's family. FML

#21491232
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23811) - you deserved it (2924)

On 11/11/2015 at 11:52am - health - by The horror... (woman) - United Kingdom (Luton)

Today, my girlfriend told me she didn't want to get it on with me because she didn't want to ruin my innocence. FML

#5141193
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23809) - you deserved it (3786)

On 09/09/2009 at 12:13am - intimacy - by Magnus_the_Red (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, an idiot decided it would be fun to light up a firecracker in front of our house. It ended with firetrucks, a black yard, and yet somehow the weeds survived. FML

#19958598
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23806) - you deserved it (2034)

On 07/19/2012 at 11:30am - misc - by ThatGirl (woman) - United States

Today, some new people moved into the house next door to mine. The previous occupants were very loud and obnoxious day in and day out, so I was looking forward to some sanity. When I went outside, I noticed they'd parked their cars on my lawn. FML

#20005831
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23806) - you deserved it (1616)

On 08/06/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by 44magnumtime (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was throwing rocks into a pond while our class was on a field trip. The teacher started to pass around an old rare civil war bullet. As the bullet got to me, I threw another rock in the river, only to notice a rock in my hand and the bullet gone. FML

#21062817
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23806) - you deserved it (60683)

On 02/16/2014 at 9:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML

#30273
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23805) - you deserved it (52587)

On 02/12/2009 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Evil_Egbert (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)



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