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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, while painting a wall, I handed a bucket of paint up to my friend who was standing on the top rung of a ladder. She said she felt dizzy, and came crashing down on me, along with the paint on my head. FML

#19306494
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19295) - you deserved it (2211)

On 03/19/2012 at 8:39am - misc - by fuuu. - Hong Kong

Today, I thought it would be cool to hit a basketball with a baseball bat. Ended up in the ER with seven stitches. FML

#20888878
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19295) - you deserved it (44292)

On 09/20/2013 at 11:33am - misc - by BabeRuth (man) - United States

Today, I found out that the woman from My Strange Addiction who can't stop picking her scabs is married. I've been single for two years and I don't even pick my nose. FML

#20179069
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19288) - you deserved it (2992)

On 11/25/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by Sam (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I went to Target with my dad, and he told me to get in the shopping cart. I thought he was being cool and wanted to push me around. He snorted and said he was thinking about crashing me into a car and suing the driver. FML

#20167613
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19286) - you deserved it (2236)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:04am - misc - by creys - United States

Today, I was working the night shift at the hotel I'm employed at. After checking in a young couple to the room above the main office, I was forced to listen to them having it off for most of the night, serving a very loud reminder that I've been single for five years. FML

#8582830
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19284) - you deserved it (2818)

On 02/23/2010 at 6:52am - intimacy - by Cromwel620 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML

#20508952
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19281) - you deserved it (55027)

On 02/16/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by uhoh (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my friends and I had a long fun day at the river. That was until sundown. I now have mosquito bites in places you don't want to know. FML

#10511557
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19278) - you deserved it (10101)

On 05/13/2010 at 6:49pm - animals - by Alicia - United States (California)

Today, my ex-boyfriend came over to visit. Being nice, I let him walk down the stairs first, following after him. I still managed to reach the bottom before he did; after taking one step, I lost my footing and fell all the way down, scraping the skin off my arms and legs, and bruising my butt. FML

#14011606
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19277) - you deserved it (4233)

On 11/28/2010 at 12:17pm - misc - by brelni - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend of almost two years and I broke up. Earlier, we scheduled our classes for senior year to match perfectly. Can't wait. FML

#15378969
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19275) - you deserved it (36557)

On 03/19/2011 at 4:45am - love - by Uh oh... - United States

Today, as I was taking the bus home, I sat down next to a man wearing an FML shirt. While snickering I said to him "You totally deserved it." I guess he thought that comment deserved a broken nose. FML

#17306841
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19272) - you deserved it (76950)

On 07/30/2011 at 5:26am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

#19475030
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19271) - you deserved it (36971)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada

Today, I got my cell phone bill. I pay for 700 minutes per month. I used 9 last month. FML

#7338496
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19262) - you deserved it (16348)

On 01/14/2010 at 2:04pm - misc - by light_talker (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I turned around in my cubicle to see the entire marketing department (myself excluded) getting ready to have lunch together. Nobody mentioned it to me. FML

#865
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19260) - you deserved it (1726)

On 01/08/2009 at 8:30am - work - by Webmonkey - United States (Texas)



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