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Today, my boyfriend found a take-out menu under my bed. It's probably been there for months. He looked at it and said, "Well, that explains a lot." FML

#20132432
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18526) - you deserved it (4116)

On 10/25/2012 at 5:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I was driving home and stopped at a light. A cute guy in the truck ahead of me waved me forward and told me to roll down my window. It was the first time a cute guy had talked to me in a while so I was pretty excited. He told me to turn my lights on. FML

#7697046
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18523) - you deserved it (9015)

On 01/30/2010 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was so insecure, I got scared of what people might think of my fingers. FML

#19549907
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18523) - you deserved it (5426)

On 04/29/2012 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I took a picture of myself wearing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples, captioned, "I hope you enjoyed your dinner, now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML

#20176010
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18518) - you deserved it (44437)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Whipped Cream - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was going through Facebook photos of a pep rally in the hopes that I'd be in at least one of them. I was in one alright. Pulling out a wedgie. FML

#20096548
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18517) - you deserved it (5265)

On 10/01/2012 at 8:50am - misc - by awks - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke from last night after meeting the most amazing man, and after giving him a good morning kiss, roll out of bed to use his bathroom. After using his toothbrush, I go to replace it in his holder only to find not one, but several prescriptions for herpes in his unzipped toiletry bag. FML

#5784
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18509) - you deserved it (39195)

On 02/02/2009 at 8:42pm - love - by screwed. - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was driving home on the highway with my wife and her parents. As I overtook another car, a rock got kicked up into our windshield. My wife screamed about the crack it created, while my mother-in-law goaded her on and mocked my "piss-poor driving." FML

#20085361
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18506) - you deserved it (1842)

On 09/23/2012 at 5:05pm - misc - by future MIL slasher (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, while at the store, I realized how socially inept I am when I said "excuse me" to a shopping cart because it was in my way. FML

Today, I took my puppy for a walk around town. I had to stop and explain to several people that yes, his head was purple because my little sister wanted to make him look like a Na'vi from Avatar. FML

#20041954
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18498) - you deserved it (2157)

On 08/26/2012 at 12:18am - misc - by AmyLeigh - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I'm supposed to start my new job as a Crime Scene Tech. Instead, I managed to electrocute myself with my hairdryer. I'll now have to attempt to explain to them that I really am qualified to safely operate an electrostatic lifting device, and other expensive equipment. FML

#18842553
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18498) - you deserved it (5962)

On 01/18/2012 at 6:15am - work - by Lyn (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was excited about my friend going wedding dress shopping. Before I went to go work out, I decided to try on a prom dress from high school to remember what it felt like to get dressed up. It was too tight, I broke the zipper, and spent 45 minutes trapped before I cut myself out. FML

#1688328
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18495) - you deserved it (37355)

On 05/06/2009 at 11:04am - misc - by Fatty (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I took my daughter to a pony ride at the fair. I paid to have her picture taken, and when we got home, I emailed it to my mom. She replied, disgustedly pointing out that the pretty little pony was displaying a pretty little penis. FML

#20076226
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18494) - you deserved it (2185)

On 09/17/2012 at 1:16pm - animals - by :,< - United States

Today, I taught my friend how to use a staple gun. She taught me how to get staples out of my hand. FML

#19514784
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18493) - you deserved it (3698)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by leprechaun23 - United States (Ohio)



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