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Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML

#2236513
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16943) - you deserved it (58971)

On 05/24/2009 at 9:44am - misc - by burned (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, at work, I was called into the office by my supervisor, on whom I have a massive crush. He called me in to get my password to make some adjustments on my work account and asked me what my password was. I had to hold eye contact with him and tell him my password is his full name. FML

#13298402
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16943) - you deserved it (40079)

On 10/03/2010 at 1:08am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to give a deposition ahead of a trial in which my former boss is accused of fraud. I'm not a smart man, and I smoked a joint before heading out to try to calm my nerves. I got way too high and ended up giggling like an idiot through half the deposition. FML

#21091940
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16942) - you deserved it (64373)

On 03/20/2014 at 5:03pm - misc - by screwed (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to discover that the guy I hooked up with last night did indeed have a mullet. FML

#20535419
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16941) - you deserved it (54766)

On 03/08/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by WeHitTurbulence (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my sister won a bet. She bet my best friend a burrito that I wouldn't lose my virginity within a year. I am twenty and have to drive my friend to Del Taco so he can buy my sister her victory burrito cause I didn't get laid. FML

#7336575
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16940) - you deserved it (3722)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:47am - intimacy - by Jaayoung23 - Sent from mobile version

Today, after dealing with infidelity in my marriage, I found myself looking for advice. This led me to the comments section of a tabloid article talking about Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson. I'm a 30-year-old man taking marriage advice from a bunch of vampire-obsessed tweens. FML

#20156173
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16935) - you deserved it (5165)

On 11/09/2012 at 11:07am - love - by loser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I over drafted my account, and I ended up paying an extra 35 bucks for a 1.99 item. It was an application on the iPhone that is supposed to help me keep track of my money. FML

#3578702
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16915) - you deserved it (47750)

On 07/08/2009 at 10:37am - money - by jedd90 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML

#20525332
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16915) - you deserved it (35835)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:57am - love - by notapervert - United States (California)

Today, to save money, I wanted to fix my own leaky roof instead of hiring someone. When I got on the roof, the ladder fell. As it was falling, it broke three windows and snagged the siding of my house ripping over half of it off. FML

#11803226
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16910) - you deserved it (26773)

On 07/11/2010 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was sitting at my college campus, there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML

#2123826
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16902) - you deserved it (58080)

On 05/20/2009 at 8:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, one of my regulars approached me at work, arms extended for a hug. He's always in a bad mood, so I figured for once he wasn't grumpy and I enthusiastically hugged him. Turns out he was just stretching his arms. He told me I was crazy and pretty much ran out of my store. FML

Today, my friend had a Coke can on his desk in class. It was empty but I was thirsty so I picked it up thinking I could try to get that little bit of Coke always left at the bottom. When I took a sip I found out he had been picking his fingernails and putting them in the can. FML

#67274
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16891) - you deserved it (51471)

On 02/18/2009 at 9:29am - misc - by Thatkid (man) - Singapore

Today, I had to get bloodwork done. I'm deathly afraid of needles. The whole lobby heard me scream as soon as the nurse said 'hello'. FML

#12082057
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16888) - you deserved it (25114)

On 07/24/2010 at 6:50am - health - by breathexali (woman) - United States (New York)



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