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Today, I met an old friend from high school and his hot girlfriend. I jokingly said she must be blind to go out with him. His response: "Yeah, she is." FML

#17728499
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19471) - you deserved it (33329)

On 09/12/2011 at 3:25pm - misc - by aru9 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friend posted my phone number all over the Internet, claiming I was a deranged stalker who prank called her. I was calling from my new number to give it to her. FML

#20081331
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19471) - you deserved it (1658)

On 09/20/2012 at 9:39pm - misc - by Emily - United States (California)

Today, I untied the rope that was tied to my dog's collar because it was wrapped around the tree choking him. He immediately ran off down the street. I had to chase him barefoot in my boxers for 20 minutes till he got tired. FML

#13091874
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19467) - you deserved it (8563)

On 09/17/2010 at 10:34pm - misc - by muffins69 (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, at breakfast, my sister labelled me a "feminist." My whole family now refuses to talk to me for more than 30 seconds, and acts as though I have an incurable, highly contagious disease. FML

#20129490
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19465) - you deserved it (4645)

On 10/23/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by hating labels - Australia

Today, my mother and I saw a stall selling colourful treats at the shopping centre. Some were placed on small dishes, so we thought we'd sample their goods. Turns out that the colourful goodies that we'd bit into were very creative pieces of soap. FML

#20615670
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19459) - you deserved it (41911)

On 04/23/2013 at 11:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I applied to a new gym. Now I have a hernia. FML

#18755712
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19457) - you deserved it (4314)

On 01/09/2012 at 9:56am - health - by naagodinho (man) - Portugal

Today, after doing inventory at my job, I was approached by a co-worker who I had always thought was cute. I tried talking to her, but it was hard as I kept trembling and stuttering from spending two hours in a meat locker. Now she assumes that I'm "special". FML

#20186264
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19457) - you deserved it (2038)

On 12/01/2012 at 3:35am - work - by CheddarJack89 (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I somehow managed to hit my head on a first aid kit. I now have a cut on my forehead and my boyfriend just keeps laughing from the irony. FML

#19490563
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19455) - you deserved it (3621)

On 04/18/2012 at 4:18pm - health - by 352 - United States

Today, my deranged wife somehow became convinced that vampires actually exist. She's now walking around with garlic powder caked into her clothing. I can't get the smell out of my nostrils. FML

#20147303
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19450) - you deserved it (1995)

On 11/04/2012 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I was finally hooking up with a girl I was after for a long time.Things got really hot and heavy but she stopped and looked at me weird. She said, "I can't do it, you're really wet. It looks like chicken fat." FML

#8658617
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19451) - you deserved it (3636)

On 02/26/2010 at 5:21am - intimacy - by humiliated - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I came home to my family remodeling our (extremely) out of date bathroom. I was SUPER excited to help them get it done. I walked down the hallway and opened my bedroom door to find a huge, gaping hole in my wall and my room covered in dust. I had to sweep every surface in my room. FML

#13831440
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19447) - you deserved it (2788)

On 11/13/2010 at 8:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work, I had toast thrown at me by an old Vietnam vet. Who also happens to have a dead cat in his freezer. I love retirement homes. FML

#8902353
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19444) - you deserved it (2155)

On 03/07/2010 at 8:46pm - work - by liz (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized that even though I've taken three years of Spanish, the only words and phrases I can remember are from Dora the Explorer. FML

#13818427
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19444) - you deserved it (11061)

On 11/12/2010 at 7:29pm - misc - by rog3rli (man) - United States (New York)



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