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The all-time greatest FMLs

You OK, hun?

By Anonymous - 20/03/2023 22:00

Today, my husband asked what I’d done all day. I took it as a criticism and was about to chew his head off about not appreciating all I do, when I took a look at myself still in pyjamas, the filthy house, dirty plates, and unwashed laundry and realised I’ve done fuck all for weeks. I’m a bad wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 1 701

Mixed signals

By Anonymous - 12/04/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I introduced my dad to my boyfriend. I gave my dad the middle finger and he thumped me on the head, as we've been playfully doing for years. My boyfriend got all mad and tried to fight my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 204

Caked out

By Anonymous - 10/03/2023 18:00 - Canada

Today, I meant to surprise my boyfriend by baking him a cake. When I took it out of the oven, I realized I had accidentally used salt instead of sugar. He tried to eat it anyway, and ended up spitting chunks of it out all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 753

The Voice

By Barney - 22/06/2025 22:00 - Canada - Thunder Bay

Today, I was alone in the kitchen doing the dishes, and I started singing along to my favorite song when it came on my playlist. However, unbeknownst to me, my neighbors were having a barbecue next door, and they cheered and applauded when I'd finished. I’m never singing again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 184

Bitch

By Anonymous - 18/02/2026 22:00

Today, I didn’t get to have Valentine's sex because the dog we just rescued is so attached to my husband that she tries to bite me every time I go near him. I seriously don’t think I’ve touched my husband once in over a week, and I’ve been bitten twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 76

Delay, deny, defend

By Anonymous - 11/04/2025 15:00 - United States - London

Today, I finally got insurance after months of paperwork, and so I went to the doctor. I was billed $873 for a "consultation" that pretty much consisted of being weighed and told to "Google it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 49

Gammon

By Anonymous - 24/10/2022 06:00

Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 975

Unwelcome home

By Bee Quarantine - 10/09/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, there is a wasp nest right next to my front door. To exit the house safely, I have to use the back door and carefully sneak over to the car. Alternatively, I can just walk everywhere. Or I can become a shut-in, but I don't think I'd last long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 175

Stained for life

By Anonymous - 07/06/2026 03:00 - China

Today, someone left a lipstick in a public laundry machine of our student dormitory. Then, an hour ago, when I put my laundry in it (including my underwear), I didn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 72

Bad week

By Anonymous - 26/02/2026 03:00

Today, just a little bit after midnight, my mom sends a Facebook post saying my stepdad is in the ER and is unable to walk. I'm a night owl, which was why I was up. This is after the rest of my family went to bed due to being sick with the new flu variant days ago. It seems like this week is just bad luck for my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 61

My life is average

By Karen - 24/01/2025 22:00 - United States - Solon

Today, I fell asleep while watching Rocky and Bullwinkle. I then had an extremely vivid dream that I was going after Russian spies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 133

Superheroes Finger Family Song Johny Johny Yes Papa Nursery Rhymes Giant Syringe

By Anonymous - 16/01/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my niece and let her watch cartoons on YouTube while I cooked dinner. She screamed as I was cutting up carrots and I cut myself. She had turned on an episode of Happy Tree Friends and was now crying and wouldn't stop. My brother thumped me for not watching her. I now have a cut hand and black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 531

Bathtime

By Claire - 13/01/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I tried to get some "quality me-time" by taking a bubble bath. Ten minutes in, my needy cat started howling like it was the end of the world, so I jumped out to see what was happening. Nothing. She's just going to do that every time I try to take a bath. No relaxing allowed, it seems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 194

Mean streets

By fouchi - 10/04/2024 16:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was driving when a couple flipped the bird on me before cutting me off, so I flipped them off back. After they'd got away, another driver thought I'd actually been flipping him off and followed me into a parking lot. This guy was huge, and let’s just say he didn’t give me a chance to explain myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 362

Cute miscommunication

By 9 to 5 - 30/12/2025 22:00

Today, I texted my boss to say I’d be late because my train was delayed. Autocorrect changed “delayed” to “derailed.” My boss called immediately, panicked, asking if I was OK. I had to explain it was just a typo while standing safely on the platform. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 104

How could you?

By Anonymous - 11/01/2021 08:30 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I saw the Steelers throw the game to the Browns. I get it, you don't want to go to the Superbowl, but could you try being more realistic than staged wrestling? FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 758

Stylist

By Joh - 26/03/2026 03:00

Today, I got home, stripped down to my underwear, and laid on the couch. The cat came up, then started meowing loudly at me and bit my sides and legs until I put on sweats and a t-shirt. I now have a cat-enforced dress code. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 165

Felt cute, might delete later

By Anonymous - 09/05/2025 15:00 - United States - Burlington

Today, I put on a new outfit, took a bunch of selfies, and posted the best one to Instagram. Ten minutes later, my grandma commented, “You look tired. Are you eating enough?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 201

I'm too old for this shit

By Michael - 18/02/2025 20:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I took a quick nap before going out with friends. I set an alarm for 30 minutes. When I woke up, I thought it had been a few minutes, so I jumped up, got my coat, and ran out the door. Turns out, my nap lasted 5 hours, and I missed the entire night out. My friends are still sending me pictures of them having fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 372

Climax

By Hungry - 09/12/2025 00:00

Today, my husband managed to make Chipotle's beef barbacoa recipe perfectly in our kitchen. I couldn't stop eating, it tasted so good. Then I realized this is the most pleasure he's brought me in the six years we've been together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 183

Great expectations

By Anonymous - 26/04/2025 12:00 - United States

Today. my four year-old grand-daughter asked her mother why she married her father, since he wasn't a Prince. I think we need to dial back the Disney movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 135

Room by room

By Anonymous - 09/12/2025 09:00

Today, we're a family of four moving houses. My husband wants me to copy each room and move it to the new house, paste it there. Literally. He doesn't understand why it's impossible with kids to have the bedroom at one house and bathroom at another. According to him, we can fully finish this move in four days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 103

Safe in the closet

By Anonymous - 04/06/2026 09:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I realized I'd spent 14 months giving my love to a closeted lesbian, who used me like an emotional vampire to hide. She cried about her ex leaving her for a man, then did the same to me. She's a parasite jumping from host to host because she's too cowardly to be honest. I’m just her latest supply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 79

My name is actually Blurt

By Anonymous - 18/12/2025 15:00

Today, I saw my original birth certificate and realised I’ve spent almost all my life misspelling my first name. Now I’m worried it might invalidate pretty much every legal document I’ve ever signed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 100

There is a light that sometimes goes out

By Hannah - 14/08/2021 20:01 - New Zealand - Tauranga

Today, I saw a light switch on in the hallway at school, so I tried turning it off. That was the light switch for the entire second floor. So many people saw, I turned it back on and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 938

Control

By Anonymous - 06/11/2025 00:00

Today, my boss continued to orchestrate behind the scenes with my colleagues to make me look bad for her lack of organization. Then she showed up 10 minutes late to a meeting, shared that she needed a vacation, and realized that she needed to micromanage less. I've been asking her to make that change for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 90

Frustrated boi

By Anonymous - 20/02/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend hasn’t fucked me in god knows how long. I had to mention a BJ and she already said she was going to give me one for Valentine’s Day. I knew it was bullshit because it’s the 17th and still no head. I get mad when I watch sex scenes. I masturbate but it's not the same. I really wanna fuck other women. IDK WHAT TO DO. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 530

Are you OK?

By FUCKING IDIOT - 09/11/2023 04:00

Today, my boyfriend yet again bought paper towels instead of toilet paper. I screamed myself hoarse at him, and told him to go get some toilet paper before I killed us both. He came back with coffee filters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 852

The cat's out of the bag

By Anonymous - 26/03/2024 20:00 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I was shopping with my husband. At the self-checkout, one of the items I was buying for him as a gift didn’t register. As we were walking out, I get stopped and escorted to the loss prevention office, where I was accused of stealing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 415

Get on with it

By Bored - 18/06/2026 03:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I went to play a game with a friend. Turns out he's the sort of dude who, when he first installs a game, gets obsessive with making sure the settings are EXACTLY right. We got maybe five minutes of gameplay in between menu sliders, hardware tweaks, and unofficial drivers and patches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 93

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The Top

Today, while out hiking with my girlfriend, she thought it would be funny to push me down a small hill. It turned out there was a 16 foot drop at the end of it, and now my leg is in a cast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 749

You deserved it 1 744

Today, I got written up for asking my coworker a question that I should have asked my boss to ask my coworker. Yay bureaucracy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 793

You deserved it 4 145

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 689

You deserved it 5 148

Today, the only card I got for Valentine's Day was in my mother's handwriting, and she posted it through the front door herself. She still won't admit it's from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 596

You deserved it 2 801

Today, I was sitting next to the guy I am trying to get close to while we were at the bar. Music was playing, so I thought that while his attention was diverted I would sneak out a yawn. Just as I did so, the music went silent and I let out a tremendous burp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 178

You deserved it 8 449

Today, my mom cried while watching the Charlie Kirk memorial on TV. She has been sharing terrible AI videos on social media with the guy saying stuff he never said when he was alive. She didn't cry at all when my dad, her husband of 28 years, died, or even during his funeral. She barely even mentions him at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 112